In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with JoNeil Conley—Michigan-based nurse, organizational leadership expert, and self-described “bullyologist”—about the reality of workplace bullying in healthcare and beyond. JoNeil shares her personal story of facing intimidation, sabotage, and toxic leadership in the operating room, how she turned that experience into a research-backed crusade against bullying, and why “miracles can be found in the messes” of adult life. Together, Amy and JoNeil explore how individuals can recognize, document, and respond to bullying, and why no one is truly a “hot mess”—just someone moving through life’s most challenging chapters.

About the Guest:

JoNeil Conley is a nurse, coach, speaker, and organizational leadership expert from Alma, Michigan. After decades in healthcare—including ER and OR nursing, leadership roles, and earning her doctorate—she specializes in coaching women through life’s “hot mess” moments and is dedicated to helping individuals and teams navigate bullying and toxic environments with courage and clarity.

Main Topics Covered:

• Navigating the geography, culture, and quirks of Michigan (and why it matters!)
• JoNeil’s journey from hands-on nursing to academic research on bullying in the operating room
• The anatomy of workplace bullying: sabotage, power dynamics, and the “executive bully”
• Why documenting facts (not just feelings) is critical for real change at work
• Turning a personal ordeal into a movement: JoNeil’s meanness matrix tool and doctoral research results
• The enduring myth of “nurses eat their young”—how toxicity takes root in organizations
• Strategies for protecting yourself from bullies, rude people, and narcissists (at work, at home, and beyond)
• The power of speaking up, building alliances, and surviving the “hot mess” seasons of adulting

Quote from the Episode:

“We have a tendency to call everything bullying…and that’s not true. Some people are just rude. The differentiation between a rude person and a bully is the bully is intentional—it’s about you.” — JoNeil Conley

Timestamps:

[00:00:05 ] Where JoNeil calls home: Michigan “the Mitten” and the UP

[00:02:37 ] What brings JoNeil laughter—her grandbaby

[00:03:18 ] Childhood, nursing origins, “joiner” tendencies, and leadership

[00:08:35 ] On entering nursing, ER burnout, and the road to the operating room

[00:10:57 ] Team dynamics, hierarchy, and the anatomy of a sabotaging bully

[00:12:49 ] The incident that triggered JoNeil’s anti-bullying journey

[00:18:21 ] Recognizing bullying patterns, toxic cultures, and why people stay

[00:21:23 ] Turning experience into expertise: JoNeil’s dissertation and OR research

[00:27:27 ] The meanness matrix—you can’t stop all bullying, but you can protect yourself

[00:29:08 ] Power, influence, and the importance of documenting facts

[00:31:13 ] The confrontation: documenting, courage, and turning the tables on a toxic CEO

[00:39:16 ] How to document incidents (and why it matters in any environment)

[00:41:43 ] JoNeil’s work today—coaching women through “hot mess” seasons

[00:46:01 ] Rapid-fire: water preferences, books, Michigan travel, and haunted lighthouses

Special Offer from the Guest:

Hot Mess Hotline

The Hot Mess Hotline is a one-hour, one-topic laser coaching session for women who are overwhelmed, stuck, or facing one of life’s “what now?” moments. Whether it’s burnout, a tough relationship, workplace chaos, or an identity shift, this session is your space to breathe, unpack what’s really going on, and leave with clear, doable next steps—and a whole lot more peace of mind. Value of the product offered: $97

Special offer for the listeners of the show:

Audience of The Art of Imperfect Adulting can book their Hot Mess Hotline session for just $77.

Go to www.DrJoNeil.com/hotmess and enter the code IMPERFECT77 at checkout to unlock the special rate.

Note from the show: Guest offers are often limited-time and limited quantity. If you have an issue redeeming the guest offer please reach out to the guest or vendor directly.

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