How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior
33Digest
In this episode of the Mel Robbins podcast, Mel interviews Dr. Talley Sherrett, a behavioral neuroscientist, to discuss the science behind changing people's behaviors and opinions. Dr. Sherrett explains that the desire to control others stems from our innate need to control our own lives and environments. She debunks common myths about using fear and guilt to motivate change, highlighting the approach-avoidance principle and the importance of focusing on positive rewards. Dr. Sherrett outlines three key strategies for motivating change: social proof, immediate rewards, and progress tracking. She emphasizes the importance of providing choices and fostering a sense of agency, especially when working with children. Dr. Sherrett also discusses the role of temporal discounting and present bias in procrastination, and how to overcome these challenges by creating immediate rewards. Finally, she shares insights on how to approach conversations about change with others, focusing on understanding their perspective and fostering a sense of optimism. The episode concludes with a reminder that change is often beneficial and that seeking support from others who understand your journey is crucial.
Outlines
Introduction
This Chapter introduces the episode and the guest, Dr. Talley Sherrett, a behavioral neuroscientist. Mel explains the focus of the conversation: how to change other people's behaviors and opinions.
The Desire to Control
This Chapter delves into the root of our desire to control others, explaining that it stems from our innate need to control our own lives and environments. Dr. Sherrett emphasizes that trying to control others can backfire, leading to anxiety and decreased motivation.
Fear and Motivation
This Chapter explores the effectiveness of fear as a motivator. Dr. Sherrett explains that fear is less effective in inducing action than inaction, and that focusing on positive rewards is a more effective strategy for motivating change.
Motivating Change: Three Strategies
This Chapter introduces three key strategies for motivating change: social proof, immediate rewards, and progress tracking. Dr. Sherrett provides examples of how each strategy can be applied in various contexts, from personal relationships to professional settings.
Procrastination and Temporal Discounting
This Chapter explores the reasons behind procrastination, focusing on the concept of temporal discounting, which describes our tendency to value immediate rewards over future benefits. Dr. Sherrett explains how to overcome this challenge by creating immediate rewards for ourselves and others.
The Power of Progress Tracking
This Chapter highlights the importance of progress tracking as a motivator. Dr. Sherrett shares a study on handwashing in hospitals that demonstrates how providing immediate feedback on progress can significantly increase compliance.
Applying Change Strategies to Parenting
This Chapter provides practical advice on how to apply the principles of change to parenting. Dr. Sherrett emphasizes the importance of providing choices and fostering a sense of agency in children, rather than controlling their behavior.
Keywords
Behavioral Neuroscience
The study of the brain and its role in behavior. It combines principles from neuroscience, psychology, and other fields to understand how the brain influences our actions, thoughts, and emotions.
Approach-Avoidance Principle
A psychological principle that explains how our brains are wired to approach rewards and avoid punishments. It suggests that focusing on positive outcomes is more effective in motivating action than emphasizing negative consequences.
Temporal Discounting
A cognitive bias that causes us to value immediate rewards more highly than future rewards, even if the future rewards are larger. This bias contributes to procrastination and difficulty in achieving long-term goals.
Social Proof
A psychological phenomenon where people are more likely to conform to behaviors that are widely accepted or practiced by others. It can be used to motivate change by highlighting the positive actions of others.
Immediate Rewards
Rewards that are received immediately after performing a desired behavior. They are more effective in motivating change than delayed rewards because they provide immediate gratification and reinforce the behavior.
Progress Tracking
The process of monitoring and recording progress towards a goal. It can be a powerful motivator by providing a visual representation of progress and reinforcing the feeling of accomplishment.
Agency
The ability to act independently and make choices. Fostering a sense of agency in others is crucial for motivating change, as it allows them to feel in control of their own lives and decisions.
Dr. Talley Sherrett
A behavioral neuroscientist and the director of the Effective Brain Lab at University College London. Her research focuses on how emotion and motivation influence people's beliefs and decisions. She is also a professor at both University College London and MIT, and the best-selling author of three books, including Look Again.
Mel Robbins
A best-selling author, speaker, and podcast host known for her work on motivation, self-improvement, and overcoming fear. Her podcast, the Mel Robbins podcast, features conversations with experts and thought leaders on a wide range of topics.
Q&A
Why do we have a desire to control other people's behavior?
Dr. Sherrett explains that this desire stems from our innate need to control our own lives and environments. We want to feel in control of our world, and sometimes we try to achieve this by influencing the behavior of those around us.
Does fear motivate people to change?
Dr. Sherrett says that fear is less effective in motivating action than inaction. It can actually cause people to freeze or avoid the desired behavior. Focusing on positive rewards is a more effective strategy.
What are three key strategies for motivating change?
Dr. Sherrett outlines three strategies: social proof, immediate rewards, and progress tracking. Social proof involves highlighting the positive actions of others. Immediate rewards provide instant gratification for desired behavior. Progress tracking involves monitoring and recording progress towards a goal.
How can I apply these strategies to parenting?
Dr. Sherrett suggests providing choices and fostering a sense of agency in children. Instead of controlling their behavior, empower them to make decisions and feel in control of their own actions.
What is temporal discounting and how does it affect procrastination?
Temporal discounting is a cognitive bias that makes us value immediate rewards more highly than future rewards. This bias can lead to procrastination, as we prioritize short-term gratification over long-term goals.
How can I overcome procrastination?
Dr. Sherrett recommends creating immediate rewards for yourself and others. This can help to bridge the gap between the action and the future benefit, making it more appealing to act now.
How can I approach conversations about change with others?
Dr. Sherrett suggests focusing on understanding their perspective and fostering a sense of optimism. Ask them how they feel about the situation and what they want to change. Help them create a plan and believe in their ability to achieve their goals.
Is it human nature to resist change?
Dr. Sherrett acknowledges that there are individual differences, but generally, people resist change because it requires effort and involves uncertainty. We are wired to predict and control our environment, and change disrupts that sense of predictability.
What are some ways to motivate myself to change?
Dr. Sherrett suggests focusing on your past accomplishments and building confidence in your ability to achieve new goals. Create a plan with specific steps and seek support from others who believe in you.
What if I don't have support from my family or friends?
Dr. Sherrett encourages you to seek support from others who understand your journey. Join online groups or connect with people who are pursuing similar goals. Remember that you don't need to rely solely on your immediate circle for support.
Show Notes
Do you want to know the secret to unlocking motivation in yourself or someone you love?
If you want to change any behavior for the better…
Or if you’ve got someone in your life (don’t we all?!) who you wish would change…
Today’s episode is for you.
You’ll learn why guilt, pressure, fear, crying, threats, and ultimatums will not help anyone change, and there’s a scientific reason why.
Then, you’ll learn the 3 very specific tactics that inspire anyone to quickly change their behavior for the better, including specific scripts that you can use with even the most stubborn people.
Teaching you today is #1 neuroscientist Dr. Tali Sharot. She’s here to debunk the myths of behavior change and teach you how to make any change, big or small.
Dr. Sharot is a behavioral neuroscientist, professor at both University College London and MIT, and the director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London.
Her research integrates neuroscience, behavioral economics, and psychology to study motivation and behavior change.
By the time you finish listening, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to create any change you want.
For more resources, including links to Dr. Tali Sharot’s research, website, and social media click here for the podcast episode page.
If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this episode: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same.
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thank you for this great talk, I kept pausing the podcast to take notes, and to let the information sink in. Thank you🥰