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New Friends, Fake Friends, Old Friends
Update: 2025-01-30
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(VIDEO PODCAST AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE) Alix and Ashtin have a lot to catch up on this week. They talk about the TikTok ban, Alix’s skinny jean campaign with Frame, snow parties in New Orleans, and Paris Fashion Week. Then they dive into this week’s hot topic: friendship breakups.
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Transcript
00:00:00
Expand your horizons in 2025 by learning a new language.
00:00:04
The Rosetta Stones immersive lessons guide you
00:00:06
to think in a new language from day one.
00:00:08
I know we're all setting new years resolutions
00:00:09
for ourselves right now.
00:00:10
And I think learning a new language
00:00:12
is a great challenge for ourselves.
00:00:13
Makes you better, makes you smarter.
00:00:15
Also gives you a good hobby.
00:00:17
Something to keep yourself busy.
00:00:19
All of you guys, all the Earl Girls can take advantage
00:00:22
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00:00:25
Visit rosettastone.com/hotmess.
00:00:28
That's 50% off unlimited lifetime access
00:00:31
to 25 language courses at rosettastone.com/hotmess.
00:00:36
The dating app fatigue is real.
00:00:38
Mindless swiping and meaningless DMs
00:00:40
have made us feel more disconnected than ever.
00:00:43
While most dating apps are about pursuing someone else,
00:00:46
there's one that's carved out of space
00:00:47
for you to find yourself.
00:00:49
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00:00:52
you have the breathing room to explore your own desires
00:00:55
and discover yourself.
00:00:56
Download field, that's F-E-E-L-D on the app store
00:00:59
or Google Play Store.
00:01:02
Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess
00:01:04
with Alex Earl.
00:01:05
[MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:08
Wait, did I just turn that off?
00:01:16
How do I get that back on?
00:01:17
[MUSIC PLAYING]
00:01:20
I'm a Hot Mess.
00:01:26
Oh my god, I've missed you so much.
00:01:28
Oh, have you?
00:01:30
I have, and I'm actually proud of you
00:01:31
that you're at school and you're doing college.
00:01:34
I always do college.
00:01:36
I just do everything else at the same time.
00:01:39
You were not there at all last semester.
00:01:43
Well, I'm literally leaving tomorrow, so--
00:01:48
Wait, but can you recap us on your January in NOLA?
00:01:53
And your snow party?
00:01:55
Yeah, so it's been actually crazy since we got back.
00:01:58
So I got back right before bid day for my sorority,
00:02:01
which was obviously super fun.
00:02:04
It's also like second semester senior year,
00:02:06
so everyone just kind of wants to hang out and have fun.
00:02:09
So that's what we've been up to.
00:02:12
Second semester senior year, I think,
00:02:14
was the best time of my entire life.
00:02:19
It's weird, because my first semester senior year,
00:02:22
I don't remember.
00:02:23
I kind of associated it with almost junior year.
00:02:26
For some reason, they felt like two separate years.
00:02:29
And second semester senior year,
00:02:32
there is no energy like it, because everyone in college
00:02:35
is just like, OK, well, this is our last time
00:02:38
to just do what we want.
00:02:41
And I don't know, after being out of college,
00:02:44
you forget that being in college
00:02:46
is just like a fake world.
00:02:48
So you have nothing to do besides go to class,
00:02:52
and then you just use anything as an excuse to party
00:02:56
or drink, and like, yeah, maybe you're working on the side.
00:02:59
But besides that, it just doesn't make sense.
00:03:02
You literally live in this fake world
00:03:04
with all of your friends so close to you,
00:03:06
and you just party all the time.
00:03:08
Like, I am sick to my stomach.
00:03:11
No, it's so fun.
00:03:12
I love it.
00:03:12
And then so we were off on Monday,
00:03:14
because it was Martin Luther King Day.
00:03:17
So everyone just kept going out all weekend.
00:03:19
We were going out on Sunday night.
00:03:21
And then classes were online Tuesday,
00:03:23
because the snow storm is happening.
00:03:25
But we didn't know it was going to be like this crazy
00:03:28
of a snow storm.
00:03:28
So I woke up being like, oh, I have a 9/30.
00:03:31
Like, it's online, whatever.
00:03:32
And then everyone's like, oh, the classes are getting canceled.
00:03:35
And then all of a sudden, I get a text from every single
00:03:38
frat group chat that I'm in.
00:03:40
They're like, dirty, dirty, snow-dirty, snow-dirty.
00:03:43
So every single frat then threw a dirty,
00:03:46
because it was snowing, and we went to the boot first.
00:03:49
And it was just so fun.
00:03:51
I don't know why the energy was just through the roof.
00:03:53
Everyone was just hugging, and jumping, and dancing all day.
00:03:57
And it was so much fun.
00:03:59
It was like an unexpected party day.
00:04:01
You know, you don't have to think about it.
00:04:02
And then all of a sudden classes are canceled.
00:04:04
Let's go crazy.
00:04:06
No, and it was literally a Tuesday.
00:04:07
So it was just really fun.
00:04:08
And then, yeah, so we wanted to keep the vibes going.
00:04:11
So me and Lily decided we were going to have a boiler room
00:04:15
at our house after.
00:04:17
So we ended up, am I old?
00:04:21
But what?
00:04:23
I know the boiler room in Ibiza, but I just
00:04:26
thought that was a club.
00:04:28
What's a boiler room?
00:04:30
It's kind of just like a DJ set in the middle of a party.
00:04:34
And everyone just dances with the DJ.
00:04:37
So you had a boiler room.
00:04:39
You're so cool.
00:04:41
But that was really fun, too.
00:04:43
There's so many random people in my apartment.
00:04:44
And I was like, I don't know what's going on,
00:04:46
but we're having fun.
00:04:48
You posted your house, and I was like, this is not--
00:04:51
you're like, oh, we're just having a few people over.
00:04:53
Because we were on FaceTime in the middle of this.
00:04:54
And I watched your vlog.
00:04:55
And I was like, this looks like a rave in your house.
00:04:58
No, there were so many people there.
00:04:59
They were like, hi, nice to meet you.
00:05:00
And I was like, hi, what's your name?
00:05:01
Nice to meet you.
00:05:03
But it was also my stomach.
00:05:06
Yeah, you should be here.
00:05:07
But that was really fun.
00:05:08
And then we've had classes online for the last two days
00:05:11
because the snow, like New Orleans
00:05:13
does not know how to deal with the snow.
00:05:15
Because they don't have plows or salt for the roads.
00:05:18
So everything's just been canceled.
00:05:21
Like, all my workout classes have been canceled.
00:05:22
I'm going crazy.
00:05:23
Classes are canceled.
00:05:25
They keep sending emails.
00:05:26
They're like, how to be careful in the snow.
00:05:27
They're like, take small steps.
00:05:29
Like, hold on to railings.
00:05:30
Like, no one knows how to act.
00:05:32
They've canceled every flight out of New Orleans
00:05:34
for the past two days.
00:05:35
Does it not normally snow there?
00:05:37
No.
00:05:38
It hasn't snowed like this in like a century.
00:05:41
Like, it's insane.
00:05:42
You guys had snow.
00:05:43
Like, it wasn't like a drizzle.
00:05:45
It was like a little lizard.
00:05:47
It was a lot, a lot of snow.
00:05:48
It was actually crazy.
00:05:49
Yeah, we've kind of been on like lockdown a little bit.
00:05:52
But now I'm like, my flights were canceled today
00:05:54
because I'm supposed to fly to Paris.
00:05:56
So I'm leaving tomorrow morning now.
00:05:59
Wait, why don't you explain to the class
00:06:01
what you're doing in Paris?
00:06:03
I'm going to Paris Fashion Week.
00:06:05
No, I'm so excited because I haven't been to Paris
00:06:08
since I was there with you when I was abroad
00:06:11
for Paris Fashion Week in the fall.
00:06:13
And that was the first time ever.
00:06:15
Yeah, I love Paris.
00:06:17
And that was the only time I've ever been.
00:06:19
And I'm so excited to go back.
00:06:21
I'm really excited for you.
00:06:21
It's kind of scary, like I'm going alone.
00:06:24
No, I feel like that's amazing.
00:06:26
Paris is so fun.
00:06:27
And like, Ashyn's dream is always all she wants to do
00:06:30
is go do fashion things in Paris.
00:06:31
And like, that's so cool.
00:06:33
You're getting to go alone.
00:06:34
I kind of like traveling alone sometimes.
00:06:36
It's kind of exciting.
00:06:37
I'm kind of excited.
00:06:38
I kind of want to like go to a cafe alone,
00:06:41
which is really scary for me.
00:06:42
Take yourself on a date.
00:06:43
Get some good, like, escargot.
00:06:45
I'm like, bring a book.
00:06:47
Maybe I'll meet someone.
00:06:49
Maybe I'll meet a cute French man.
00:06:52
I would love that.
00:06:53
I'm going to be like Blair Waldorf.
00:06:55
I'm going to be like Blair Waldorf
00:06:56
and go to an art museum and just stare at a painting
00:06:59
until someone finds me.
00:07:02
No, you're going to have so much fun.
00:07:04
And then I'm really excited.
00:07:06
I guess we'll see you kind of soon
00:07:07
because we're going to be here for Sally's birthday.
00:07:10
And then am I too old to come for Mardi Gras?
00:07:14
No, you have to come for Mardi Gras.
00:07:15
You don't have to come the whole time,
00:07:17
but you can come for like a few days.
00:07:20
Yeah, but I can't come to the college parties, can I?
00:07:23
Yes, you can, but you probably will be harassed.
00:07:29
I just feel like I can.
00:07:30
Like, I feel like last year it was acceptable kind of,
00:07:32
but now I feel like this year I'm giving like loser.
00:07:35
You're never giving loser.
00:07:37
It's all about the mindset.
00:07:39
I feel like I am.
00:07:40
No, you, this is your last excuse to come, though,
00:07:43
because I'm still in college.
00:07:44
Once I'm out of college, then it's really lame.
00:07:48
Yeah, until I have kids.
00:07:49
And I literally am like mom and dad
00:07:50
and go to all their parties.
00:07:52
I guess I could think about it.
00:07:53
You guys let me know if you think I'm too old
00:07:56
to go to Mardi Gras or not.
00:07:57
And like, I'm not talking about like the Mardi Gras parades.
00:08:00
Like, I want to go to the college parties
00:08:01
and I want to go to the boot.
00:08:03
We do both.
00:08:04
We do both.
00:08:04
We do the parties.
00:08:05
And then we go to the parades.
00:08:08
Yeah, I guess that'll be fun.
00:08:10
But I'm excited for, well, today, the skinny jean
00:08:13
launched, which is--
00:08:14
I'm in frame, which says, I'm so kind of you.
00:08:19
I'm so anxious about it, because I'm just like,
00:08:23
you know, and so many people are like, well, who is she
00:08:25
to like say that?
00:08:26
And I'm like, I don't know.
00:08:27
I just always like the skinny jean.
00:08:28
So we decided to do one.
00:08:31
Like, yeah, you don't have to wear it.
00:08:33
Yeah, but I love it.
00:08:35
Can you-- you love it, right?
00:08:36
Yeah, she gave it the stamp of approval, so I was like, OK, fine.
00:08:39
They're sending me a pair of the Alex Black coded ones, obviously.
00:08:44
I love those ones.
00:08:45
And I think the black are my favorite.
00:08:49
I love the tag on the back, too, how it says like ALIX
00:08:52
around the corners.
00:08:53
I think that's--
00:08:54
No, it's such a cool detail.
00:08:56
I can't believe I'm on a pair of frame jeans.
00:09:00
And you would be really proud of me,
00:09:01
because I'm upkeeping my New Year's resolution, which
00:09:04
was kind of like, I didn't really
00:09:06
think it was a New Year's resolution, but it was.
00:09:07
But my New Year's resolution in my own head
00:09:10
and with Sally was to bring back the boob.
00:09:13
Because Sally was like--
00:09:14
The boob?
00:09:14
Alex, the boob.
00:09:17
Like boobies?
00:09:19
Yeah, bring back the boob.
00:09:21
You've heard us say this.
00:09:22
No, I've never heard you guys say this.
00:09:25
Well, bring back the boob.
00:09:27
Bring back the boob.
00:09:28
Because Sally was like, you literally
00:09:31
had your boob's tucked away for all of 2024.
00:09:33
She's like, you were so modest and you didn't do anything.
00:09:38
Like, your boob's were away.
00:09:39
And I was like, wait, you're so right.
00:09:40
Because I feel like I was just trying to really figure out
00:09:43
what's my style.
00:09:45
And then I was like, yeah, I feel like I should be mature.
00:09:47
And then everyone's like, well, this is chic.
00:09:49
So I was like, OK, that's chic.
00:09:50
And then people were like, oh, it's chic or to be pale.
00:09:53
And then now I'm like, oh my god, what was I doing?
00:09:57
I want to be orange and I want to have my boob's out.
00:10:00
Just do your own thing.
00:10:01
I've been kind of feeling that way, too.
00:10:02
Everyone always tells me to lean into being pale.
00:10:04
And I'm like, I kind of want to feel hot.
00:10:07
I feel like these are our days.
00:10:09
These are our years.
00:10:10
These are our years to be orange and naked.
00:10:13
So I literally found this stylist that I was working with this month.
00:10:18
Because I did like four different shoots this month of stuff
00:10:20
that like, I don't even think you know what I was doing.
00:10:23
Wait, no, but you sent me some BTS pictures.
00:10:26
And I was actually throwing up over how good you looked.
00:10:29
Like, no, obsessed.
00:10:31
I cannot, you're going to break the internet when these drop.
00:10:34
Celebrate your love story with a Valentine's Day surprise
00:10:40
from Pandora Jewelry.
00:10:41
I know everyone gets a little stressed out when there's a holiday.
00:10:44
And it's like, what do I get someone?
00:10:46
What are you giving?
00:10:46
And I mean, this could be for a romantic relationship,
00:10:49
could be family, just a gesture of love.
00:10:52
But Pandora has versatile designs that let you express
00:10:54
your unique connections and meaningful ways.
00:10:57
And it could be a best friend or significant other.
00:11:00
Pandora helps you honor the bonds that make life richer and more meaningful.
00:11:04
I've personally seen these Pandora engraving necklaces all over my free page.
00:11:10
It's your own handwriting.
00:11:11
It looks super, super cool.
00:11:12
I also think that's like a fun activity to go do with someone.
00:11:15
And I always think jewelry is a great gift.
00:11:18
I was loved when Braxton gets me jewelry.
00:11:20
Because it's something that I'll wear with me every day.
00:11:22
You always have it with you, no matter where you are.
00:11:25
So it really makes the feeling last from Versailles to forever.
00:11:29
And on Valentine's Day and every day be love.
00:11:33
Shop Pandora jewelry today in store or online at Pandora.net.
00:11:38
I know it's the New Year and everyone's feeling very motivated.
00:11:40
They have a lot of goals for themselves.
00:11:42
And personally, something for me, just like insane that happened over the past year,
00:11:45
was being able to sell this hot mess merch to you guys.
00:11:48
We've done that all through Shopify.
00:11:49
I actually started using Shopify way back when I had my second job working at a boutique
00:11:54
in New Jersey, but Shopify's a commerce platform that allows you to start,
00:11:58
grow, manage a business.
00:12:00
It can be like a side hustle or a storefront.
00:12:02
You can sell online or in person.
00:12:04
It's locally, globally, direct wholesale, desktop, to mobile.
00:12:08
They make it super, super easy.
00:12:10
Like trust me, if I'm doing it, you can do it too.
00:12:12
And I know we all live on our phones with Shopify.
00:12:15
So you can like tag and sell your products across all major social media platforms.
00:12:19
And you can sell wherever your customers are.
00:12:22
I personally started using Shopify.
00:12:24
I think this was like my sophomore year of high school.
00:12:27
And it was always so inspiring to me, the boutique I worked at.
00:12:29
I always wanted to be able to sell my own sweatsets one day,
00:12:32
because that's what they sold.
00:12:34
And being able to do this is just so crazy with the help of Shopify.
00:12:37
So this is your sign to start your journey as an entrepreneur.
00:12:40
Head to Shopify.com/hotmess and see how easy it is to get started.
00:12:45
So I found the stylist.
00:12:49
And I feel like usually when I'm working with stylists,
00:12:54
it's hard because like, I don't know, they're sometimes more mature.
00:12:58
Like stylists sometimes.
00:13:00
They just don't get your vibes sometimes, or what you want.
00:13:02
Well, stylists sometimes have like their own opinion.
00:13:04
I mean, obviously they have their own opinion,
00:13:05
but like sometimes they're very opinionated.
00:13:07
And like they want to dress you how they want someone to be dressed.
00:13:11
Like they don't want to dress you for how you want to dress yourself.
00:13:13
So I've been trying to really like work with different people
00:13:16
and find like who will be like collaborative with me.
00:13:19
And I was working with this guy for a shoot.
00:13:22
And I literally like picked up the tiniest thing off this rack.
00:13:25
Like he shoved it all the way to the end because he was like,
00:13:27
oh, sorry, I don't even know why we brought that.
00:13:28
Like I don't think you would want to wear that.
00:13:30
I picked up this tiny little top.
00:13:32
And I was like, wait, I've never seen a more perfect top in my life.
00:13:35
And so then we hired him for like the rest of the shoots we did for the month.
00:13:40
And now I'm trying to work and maybe like possibly working with him
00:13:44
because he was so fun and everything that I sent you
00:13:47
and all these pictures, he styled.
00:13:49
So yeah, he and he's really fun and I'm going to be on the cover of a magazine
00:13:54
that comes out tomorrow when this episode airs, it'll be out.
00:13:57
So go check it out.
00:13:58
And we had so much fun with the wardrobe in it.
00:14:01
And I'm like, I kind of want to dress like, I just want to dress fun.
00:14:04
Like why I don't want to wear it just what everyone else is wearing.
00:14:08
I just kind of want to like be out there and do my own thing.
00:14:10
So watch out 2025.
00:14:13
We're bringing back the boob.
00:14:15
The boob, I like it.
00:14:17
I wish I had to bring out.
00:14:20
I really, I really hid them.
00:14:23
And yeah, I mean, I guess do we have anything else crazy we have to catch up on?
00:14:28
I mean, now I did my first live on TikTok last night.
00:14:30
And I was actually having a panic attack, but I was like, I can't end it now.
00:14:33
I just started.
00:14:35
Oh my gosh, we, can we talk about TikTok getting banned for 10 hours?
00:14:40
Yeah, that was, they were like just kidding.
00:14:43
Just really quickly.
00:14:44
I just want to dress it, okay?
00:14:46
Because I am e embarrassed.
00:14:50
No, everyone was like doing the same thing as you, don't be embarrassed.
00:14:54
I'm not embarrassed because I don't regret it.
00:14:57
If like the app didn't come back, I wouldn't regret it.
00:14:59
But the fact it came back so fast, I was like, are you joking me?
00:15:03
Like what kind of stunt was this?
00:15:05
Like you really think it was my emotions.
00:15:08
It definitely was a stunt.
00:15:09
But like it just made me annoyed because like I felt like if I wasn't really vulnerable,
00:15:16
like if I followed me and I just kind of left and like someone who like got their whole
00:15:21
start on this app, like only gets to do the cool things because of this app and the followers
00:15:25
and the audience I have there and my girls, like if I just left without like saying goodbye
00:15:31
or thank you or doing a whole thing, I feel like I'd be like, ew, she doesn't care about
00:15:35
us.
00:15:36
Like she's rude.
00:15:37
So as I was crying, although it was a little like dramatic, I was like, you know what?
00:15:40
I'm gonna like show them because I want everyone to feel like a part of this and I want
00:15:43
them to know how much I care about them.
00:15:46
And then the app came back 10 hours later and I'm like, really?
00:15:50
You don't need to do this damage control though.
00:15:52
Like no one's like, oh, that's so embarrassing.
00:15:54
I'm not doing damage control, I'm just, I'm just explaining how I feel.
00:15:59
You're just a little e.
00:16:00
It's okay.
00:16:01
I'm a little e and that's okay.
00:16:03
We're all a little e sometimes, don't worry.
00:16:06
Okay.
00:16:07
But other things that we're talking about today, I think because it's almost been a year
00:16:12
since I did the Friendship Breakup episode last year.
00:16:16
And I wanted to kind of revisit this topic now that we also have Ashton and I personally
00:16:22
feel like a lot of my, not a lot of my opinions have changed over the past year.
00:16:27
But I think like that's the beautiful thing about like podcasting and growing up with you
00:16:30
guys is like, my opinions gonna change sometimes.
00:16:35
And I feel like I want to revisit this subject and you guys always ask about the subject
00:16:40
or like friendship breakups or friendships just fading in general or what to do.
00:16:46
And I personally think if we're going back to last year's episode and I'm just being
00:16:51
really honest with you guys, I don't not mean anything I said.
00:16:54
I just think I said things too early on and like didn't process my emotions if that makes
00:17:00
any sense.
00:17:01
Like, I feel like a lot of the beginning of me podcasting.
00:17:05
And I felt very like tempted to kind of like expose myself in a way where I just wanted it
00:17:12
to be really, really entertaining for you guys.
00:17:14
I was like, okay, well, if I'm not like really giving them like the nitty gritty secrets of
00:17:18
my life, then like this show's not going to do well and like no one's going to care about
00:17:22
it.
00:17:23
So I just feel like I spoke on things before like fully processing them and I think along
00:17:32
with that, like I just honestly like behind the scenes putting out that episode last year
00:17:35
was so anxious.
00:17:37
Like, I was sick to my stomach.
00:17:38
I was just like, I know that I didn't really say anyone's names, but I just was like, I know
00:17:43
these people are stories, yeah, and like these and that's the thing is like, I guess like
00:17:47
you guys don't really see the oral girls behind the scenes is like when we talk about stuff
00:17:51
online, like they, they listen and they know like you guys don't know who we're talking
00:17:56
about.
00:17:57
So it like doesn't really matter to you, but like the people that we're talking about
00:17:59
no, we're talking about them and like two weeks ago when we talked about our middle school
00:18:05
crush who gave me a rock.
00:18:07
He like DM dashed him was like, I'm so sorry.
00:18:09
I made you feel this way.
00:18:10
And I'm like, fuck, like we're not meeting for everyone to listen.
00:18:15
No, it's so hard when people you know listen to this.
00:18:18
I'm like, shit, like I forgot, I'm like putting this out in the public.
00:18:22
No, in my mind, I'm like, no one knows who we're talking about.
00:18:24
But the people know and the people that know them probably know that we're talking
00:18:28
about no, and like people like we go to school with like, you know what I mean?
00:18:32
So it's like things go around.
00:18:33
No, this is actually really funny because Rowe's dad is here right now and we were getting
00:18:36
lunch today.
00:18:37
And I guess we like briefly mentioned him and we're like, he's so funny on the podcast.
00:18:40
He's like, you don't know how many people came up to me and they were like Mr. Keegan,
00:18:45
like you're so funny.
00:18:46
Yeah.
00:18:47
He was like, I just want to yeah, and sometimes I'm like, it's not to like call people out
00:18:52
or like bash people.
00:18:54
It's just more so like I want to share real life stories with you guys, but it's a
00:18:57
hard balance of like the people who I'm talking about, sometimes know I'm talking about them.
00:19:03
And like it just feels weird and it feels off sometimes.
00:19:05
And like I just think last year, like I was pretty new to podcasting at this point.
00:19:09
Like I was only like four or five months in.
00:19:13
And I just feel like I was speaking before like fully processing my emotions.
00:19:19
And like I think I just felt pressured, I guess, to kind of do that or be entertaining
00:19:25
or want to get views.
00:19:27
And like I really don't feel that anymore.
00:19:30
And I would say that's one thing that's changed for me over the past year.
00:19:35
Yeah.
00:19:36
I also just feel like it's really hard with being someone who talks about their life on social
00:19:40
media in general because we're still young.
00:19:43
We're still growing.
00:19:44
Our opinions can change.
00:19:45
And what we say like can mean something completely different in a year than like what
00:19:51
it means to us now and people will like hold what you say, hold you accountable for what
00:19:56
you say.
00:19:57
That's what I'm trying to say.
00:19:59
And you know, but your opinion can change.
00:20:00
So sometimes it's good just so like I feel like talking out and be like, hey, so I used
00:20:05
to think this, but now I think this well, of course, like anything else that we talk about
00:20:09
on this podcast, Ashton and I have drastically different ways of going about things when
00:20:15
it comes to friendships or being upset in a friendship.
00:20:18
Yeah.
00:20:19
Well, I think I've had personally a dramatic ending to a friendship like you have with someone
00:20:27
that I consider really close with me.
00:20:29
I've had some friendships like kind of just like fade out or die out, but I've also, I've
00:20:34
never really gotten into like a fight or had like a real problem with a friend I consider
00:20:39
like a best friend and someone really close with me.
00:20:42
But I also think part of that is me being like a people pleaser and I like to avoid conflict
00:20:48
sometimes.
00:20:49
So I feel like if there is ever a little tip, I'll like let it blow over or if in general
00:20:55
I just like want to stop being friends with someone, I'll like let it just like fade out
00:20:59
on its own instead of actually like confronting someone and trying to like start a problem
00:21:06
or fight it out.
00:21:07
But have you ever had someone like really wrong you that your friends know that's also the
00:21:11
thing?
00:21:12
Yeah.
00:21:13
Which I also think I, I've had the same friends best friends since like my entire life.
00:21:18
Like Kathleen's been my best friend since preschool and then I met more friends in high school
00:21:23
that I'm still friends with today, same with my college friends, like we're all still friends.
00:21:28
And then it's like the people, there's been other people in my life that I've been friends
00:21:31
with and they're like still people that I'll like say hi to or catch up with occasionally.
00:21:35
But not like my core best friends, I've never had that were like one of my genuine best
00:21:40
friends has ever like wronged me or done anything to a point where like we needed to end
00:21:45
our friendship.
00:21:46
Yeah.
00:21:47
So that's also my, I'm also like super loyal with my friends.
00:21:52
So like I have Sally and Isabella who are like my best friends from high school.
00:21:57
They've always been my best friends and then I have like all my girls from college.
00:22:02
And I've now met new people and have more friends.
00:22:04
But like I guess I don't know if I've ever had like a best friend, best best friend that
00:22:12
I've like really, really fought with like that, but I think definitely more so just like really
00:22:17
close friends in general.
00:22:19
I think that a friend who like wrongs you or really, really screws you over, that's not
00:22:24
a true friend.
00:22:25
And I feel like at least from what I've seen like we both have like pretty good judge of
00:22:31
character to where we're not going to be like consider someone a best friend if they
00:22:35
like seem a little shady.
00:22:36
Like I know you've had some like new friends and I'm like I don't really know I feel about
00:22:41
them like blah blah and you're like no they're cool.
00:22:44
And then I might have been right a few times, but that still wasn't someone that you were
00:22:50
like, oh that's my best friend, you know, I mean I don't fight with my friends.
00:22:54
I feel like the last time I fought with my friends was giving like early, early high school
00:22:58
when it's like everyone's just like caddy and like doesn't know what's going on and fighting
00:23:02
and group chats.
00:23:03
But like I don't fight with my friends and if I feel like I need to fight with you then
00:23:07
like that's where I'm just like okay we're not going to be friends.
00:23:10
Which is you know sometimes it would be a little controversial because I'm pretty like
00:23:18
blunt and I don't think that's changed last year I told you like when someone wrongs
00:23:21
me or if I don't think someone's good for my life like it's pretty hard for me to like
00:23:26
change my opinion.
00:23:30
You're a grudge holder.
00:23:32
I'm not a grudge holder, no I'm not a grudge holder actually because that's something
00:23:37
that over the past year as well I feel like I was holding a lot of grudges.
00:23:41
So as I was going to therapy and just working on kind of I guess like letting go of the grudges
00:23:47
or like I didn't want to hold that like hatred I guess in my heart anymore.
00:23:52
So I you know came to terms of peace on my own but I was like I feel like I also just like
00:23:59
would like to express this to the other person and I just don't want there to be this like
00:24:03
animosity towards each other when we see each other so someone that like we were close, maybe
00:24:10
not so close anymore so I ran into said someone and we like had a brief talk and then we ended
00:24:16
up getting dinner and just like I think we had a good conversation of like maybe where
00:24:20
things didn't go right and like where we both maybe like messed up and I think it was
00:24:28
a good conversation and for me I was just trying to like really make not make amends I guess
00:24:37
but like I mean I guess yeah just like there's no needs like to have so much hate.
00:24:42
There's a difference of remembering what someone's done to you and there's a difference
00:24:46
of holding a grudge like and I think I was getting those two confused because I would
00:24:50
always be like oh I'm a grudge holder but like I really worked this past year to like
00:24:54
forgive because I also think that like I don't know if this makes any sense at all but think
00:25:01
about like fight and you hear like one girl says this one girl says that like both people
00:25:06
think that they're right you know so it's like at the end of the day it's like it is just
00:25:12
someone thinking that they're right you know and like maybe you don't see eye to eye on
00:25:16
something and like that's okay and you don't need to be best friends with that person
00:25:21
but it is kind of a crazy thing that like there's so many fights where both people think
00:25:27
that they're right and it's like is someone ever truly right and is ever someone truly
00:25:31
wrong or what's going on and that's even I think that speaks to just like having a fight
00:25:37
with someone means you're kind of holding a grudge or like holding some kind of like
00:25:43
anger and you like me I mean I'm not saying I'm right I let things go way too easily I
00:25:49
don't like to fight I've never ever like I avoid fighting at all costs and I think that's
00:25:56
why like I've never had like fights with friends like I don't I don't like fight with anyone
00:26:00
really I just it's not worth it to me like I'd rather like take a step back and be like
00:26:05
okay whatever like I'm just gonna let it go kind of thing where as people like you might
00:26:11
need to like really hash it out and I don't really know that that's a good thing that
00:26:17
I do you know I think sometimes that allows people to kind of walk all over you but I also
00:26:25
think it's good for like keeping the peace with people because sometimes I'm not keeping
00:26:30
the peace but like I don't really like to fight I just like to someone to know like why we
00:26:37
are no longer going to be so close you know like I'm like I just want them to know that
00:26:44
I know I'm that type of person and I feel like I did try it out this year like there was
00:26:49
someone that I found out a lot of terrible things with and I was like all right like this
00:26:54
is not someone I'm gonna be friends with anymore and kind of I think we talked about this
00:26:59
on the podcast like a while like like a few maybe like this was like September or October
00:27:04
and everyone thought I was like talking about Brianna chicken fry and I was like like no
00:27:08
I'm talking about someone I'm like close friends with and I basically just didn't say anything
00:27:14
which was very unlike me instead of like immediately finding out like texting them calling
00:27:19
them out right away I didn't say anything for a while and then they ended up saying something
00:27:23
to me like last month and wait you didn't tell me I did not yeah I didn't really choose
00:27:28
piece I was kind of like I was kind of like fuck this here's why I'm mad blah blah blah
00:27:38
like I mean I feel like I never answered I feel like that's valid though like in that case
00:27:43
you can be like you fucked me over I know what you did I don't want to be friends anymore
00:27:46
but I don't think yeah sometimes I don't know it just depends about how you go about it
00:27:52
yeah like you've never really had someone wrong you I just don't believe this no
00:27:57
I don't know about those girls in high school well that was like I feel like I feel like
00:28:03
I've fought people for you yeah like Alex has done a lot of the the fighting in my life
00:28:08
for me because I won't do it and she's like you need to stop being such a pushover
00:28:12
and letting people walk all over you and I'm like you're right but I'm still not going
00:28:15
to say anything so there was this one time in high school I remember it was my friend
00:28:19
group and then the girl friend group and the great above us we would always like go
00:28:23
out to parties together and stuff because we were like all friends with the same guy group
00:28:27
and we were all like you know like party friends like like casual not like we were all best
00:28:32
friends but there was this incident where the girl group and the great above us one of
00:28:41
them was in our DM group chat on Instagram and this was the time of like fence does where
00:28:46
everyone was posting on their fence to like super casually they were like before Snapchat
00:28:51
private stories so people would use them as like their Snapchat private stories so we
00:28:55
would send things that like they would post in our Instagram group chat DM and like talk
00:29:01
about them and one of them was reading everything we said about them in our group chat which
00:29:07
we did not say nice things honestly it's really not proud of us but also like then they
00:29:13
were posting things on their fence as being like verbatim like things we would say about
00:29:17
them and we're like oh my god it's like they're in our group chat and then it started
00:29:21
this whole big fight and then they were like being really mean to us which was kind of valid
00:29:26
but I think you yelled at them or something because I was like a ball of anxiety over this
00:29:32
I remember I was like trying to study for midterms when all of this was blowing up and
00:29:35
I was like having a panic attack in my room because these girls were texting at me and
00:29:38
yelling at me and I was like oh my god I don't know what to do and then when did you even
00:29:43
like what did you do I don't remember I just remember this incident and like wasn't it
00:29:48
one of them were in your group chat somehow yes one of them one of them was log one of the
00:29:53
older girls was logged into one of the younger girls Instagram somehow so she was reading
00:29:58
their whole group chat which I feel like this kind of an invasion of privacy and like no
00:30:03
offense no offense I feel like a lot of people kind of like talk shit in group chats you know
00:30:12
it's like I don't know you're just kicking with the girls yeah we're just like bully people
00:30:17
but like some kind of just like huh yeah and that was like the most insane thing to ever happen
00:30:24
in my entire life honestly was the DM incident we still talk about it like the girls that like
00:30:29
go to school with Catherine we always like joke about it now because we're like it's so funny
00:30:33
it was so crazy because we were both just like so horrible to each other during the time but
00:30:38
now we're all friends so it's crazy the love affair event is back at Whole Foods Market
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00:32:02
yeah I just feel like I don't know why I get so like defensive or need to like
00:32:11
let people know I wish I had that in me yeah I don't know what I'm trying to think of like
00:32:20
you know I'm not just trying to agree with myself here I'm like okay what's my problem
00:32:24
you don't have any problems you're perfect I'm kidding I'm perfect um no I definitely
00:32:31
probably have that has to be like deep rooted issue from something I don't know I just feel like
00:32:36
I hate I hate if someone does something and you don't like them and I hate like faking it you know
00:32:44
what I mean like I just don't like this like oh let me just pretend to like you or let me just
00:32:48
pretend to be your friend because I'm like that's fake we're not friends if we're not friends
00:32:52
I don't want to say hi to you like I don't want to have to pretend like I like you when you
00:32:57
are a bitch to me so I feel like that's where it comes from I'm just like I feel like this is like
00:33:02
fake fake news when we're like not being friends you know yeah I don't like you like I'll probably
00:33:07
just unfollow you like I don't I don't want to fake it and be like oh girl love yeah when I'm like
00:33:13
I'm done we don't like each other no I'm definitely a fake bitch like I could hate someone and yeah
00:33:19
I'd still be like hi like how are you good to see oh no I can't stand that I can't stand that or
00:33:25
like I'm just like I would rather just say it to your face and be honest and let you know how I feel
00:33:31
yeah but maybe sometimes I do that too much and what I will say is what I worked on this past year
00:33:37
was my grudge holding because I felt like I just felt like you know when you don't like someone
00:33:43
so you feel like you just hold such like a hatred in your heart so I didn't like all this like
00:33:48
angsty grudges I was holding in my heart I felt and I hate when you like you know run into someone
00:33:54
somewhere and it's awkward and it's like like I don't know I just wasn't loving that and I also
00:34:00
think the hard thing about friendship breakups which I don't know if anyone else can like relate to
00:34:05
this but like there's I mean I guess this is kind of with like anything in life but there's always
00:34:09
a point where I go back and I'm like oh my god like am I crazy like was I bad because obviously
00:34:15
when you're fighting with someone like I don't know why breaking up with a friend is harder and like
00:34:20
losing a friend I think is so much harder than like losing a guy because you just the line is
00:34:25
so much more blurry like you don't I don't know I feel like with a guy we're like okay he cheated
00:34:32
he does this like I don't want to marry him like goodbye and it's like you're one and done soulmate
00:34:37
person writer die like friends come in all shapes form sizes they can be so many different things to
00:34:44
you and I think it's hard knowing for yourself like where to draw the line of like this is what I
00:34:51
want a friend to be or not and so I think for me like what it comes down to is like I because I started
00:34:58
to feel like guilty at times and just like losing people and talking with my therapist I was like oh my
00:35:04
god like I'm I a bad person for like cutting this person out of my life like I feel like I did
00:35:10
something wrong and like I feel guilty for it and then I kind of had to take a moment for myself
00:35:15
to be like okay like what are my priorities as a friend and like what do I look for a good friend
00:35:21
and I think for me it's just someone that you like trust I think trust is a really really big thing
00:35:27
for me and friendship and like someone who will support you and I think the second that I feel like
00:35:32
I can't trust someone or I find out that some things like going on behind my back like for me
00:35:40
I just I don't love that because I'm like we're friends like we should be able to be honest with
00:35:45
each other we should be able to tell each other everything we should be able to support each other
00:35:50
and be there for each other so the second I feel like I lose that trust in a friendship it's really
00:35:54
really hard for me to look back I just feel like for me I've been lucky enough to have really good
00:36:00
friends where they haven't like broken my trust and they've always been really loyal to me so
00:36:04
I would say like oh if anyone like is talking about you behind your back or does something bad
00:36:10
behind your back like cut them off like they're not a good friend but that's obviously easier said
00:36:13
than done because I've never personally had to do it but it is like it's something you really really
00:36:20
need to be aware of and if a friend like does kind of like fuck you over I feel like you really
00:36:24
really need to be like aware of that and have them like rebuild your trust like you can't just go
00:36:30
back to like and like forget about it like I feel like it's something that you need to be aware of
00:36:35
and know that like you're like this person has done something to me once then it's possible they
00:36:42
could do it again and it's really hard though especially just like when you just love them and you
00:36:48
want to be friends but some people can just be shitty people and that's like really hard to accept
00:36:52
I think sometimes yeah or I think another reason that I've kind of drifted away from friends maybe
00:36:59
has been like seen their morals or like the way maybe they talk about other people or the way
00:37:09
that they comment on certain things you know that's like another thing for me where I'm like okay like
00:37:15
morals like I feel like you at least have to be like a good person yeah that's a more I just like
00:37:21
kind of like let myself like slowly distance from that person I'd be like hey like yeah like
00:37:25
we're friends high but I'm not gonna be like I trust you I'm gonna tell you all my secrets I'm not
00:37:31
gonna like confide in you about personal things so let me paint you an example if you found out
00:37:37
that one of your roommates um let's say Alyssa someone came up to you and was like Alyssa was talking
00:37:44
all this shit about you like half of these things that are like lies about you like going and saying
00:37:51
the most obscene stuff and they're like she literally hates you like da da da da da like what would you
00:37:56
do like how would you react to that because I'm like cut off done by I'm gonna be like we're not
00:38:02
friends anymore but like well how would you go about that I think I would have I'd have to be like
00:38:07
like confront her about it even though I hate confronting people about things but as like a best
00:38:13
friend I'd have to be like what the fuck you know kind of me like what do you mean it and I feel
00:38:19
like that would you prefer like honestly no but I don't know it's hard because like I'd want to
00:38:29
but it depends on like what they say about it but also there could be like that person's lying yeah
00:38:34
that's the thing that's hard is when you talk to them it's obviously no one's gonna be like oh yeah
00:38:39
sorry I was such a shitty person which honestly I respect so much more like I think of a friend can
00:38:44
take accountability I'm like okay we all make mistakes like I'm not a perfect person at all like
00:38:51
I make mistakes just as much as the other person you know so like I feel like taking accountability
00:38:57
is like a way where like if you can talk something out and someone can be like I admit I did that I
00:39:01
don't know why I did that that wasn't my best moment da da da I value as a friend whatever but what
00:39:06
I can't stand is when you talk to someone and they're like no I didn't do that or not this or like
00:39:11
that's not how it went and I'm like yes it was so what do you mean and then it's hard for me to
00:39:17
forgive someone because I'm like we can't even have an honest conversation how do I trust you be
00:39:22
honest behind my back and I think if it were the case where my best friend were like I did that
00:39:28
and like I don't know why like that was like really really bad I'm sorry I'd be like okay sure like
00:39:34
we can still be friends but it would it would like the friendship would be different like I wouldn't
00:39:39
trust them as much or like I don't think too sometimes that's kind of hard in like school because you're
00:39:45
in a position where you're kind of around the same people a lot so I think it's hard like in college
00:39:52
when you're like oh I don't want to fight with someone because I'm gonna see them yeah on my Monday
00:39:56
Wednesday Friday class and every single party that we go to and it's just like you don't want to
00:40:01
have that like animosity towards someone so I feel like when you're in school especially it's
00:40:05
really really hard to like cut like that yeah it's definitely like easier if it's a friend that like
00:40:12
I feel like now being in college and having long distance friends it's like you have to make time
00:40:17
to see those friends so that I feel like if someone like that were to fuck me over I would just
00:40:22
probably like never make the time to see them again unless they really really wanted to and like
00:40:26
really really wanted to make up for what they've done and I would kind of just like let that fade out
00:40:30
after like I would still confront them but like after that it would just be like okay probably
00:40:35
won't see you again something like that and and when but when you're around them there is sometimes
00:40:42
when you just have to like know in your head like I don't like this person or I'm not gonna trust
00:40:47
fully yeah like I'm not gonna tell them everything but like I'm gonna be around them a lot but you
00:40:52
always have like your antennas of like okay this isn't the best person because I feel like that
00:40:57
is unfortunately how it goes a lot of the times when it's like you can't be having a blood
00:41:01
fight with someone every time you're around them and if you're gonna be around them a lot you just
00:41:04
have to like make peace say what you got to say but then like keep your antennas up antennas yeah
00:41:11
I feel like you can be civil antennas keep those antennas up ladies mm-hmm yeah but I feel like
00:41:20
yeah in that case you can just like be civil with them but just be aware of the fact and like
00:41:25
keep that in your mind going forward and I do think a lot can be resolved when you do sit down
00:41:31
and talk with someone mm-hmm not all the time but I do think sometimes a lot of fights that can come
00:41:39
in friendships especially when you're younger I think is like miscommunication so I think
00:41:45
and I don't know why it's different with like girls and guys but like if my boyfriend were to do
00:41:51
something to upset me I'd be like fuck you what are you doing hello but it's awkward sometimes when
00:41:57
it's a girlfriend because like you don't want to like be so mean to their face or like call them out
00:42:03
but like I will say that's like one thing of with Sally because we've been friends for so long
00:42:07
like I will literally like if one of us is like doing something to like piss the other off like we
00:42:13
just say it right to their face there's no fight there's no catiness there's no need for me to like
00:42:17
talk behind her back and be like Sally's really like pissing me off like whatever I'm literally
00:42:21
just like hey Sally you're pissing me off and she's like hey you're pissing me off and we're like okay
00:42:24
love you yeah I think that's where a lot of like problems and friendships can arise is when you
00:42:29
start like talking about them behind their back yeah you just don't like confront the issue with them
00:42:35
like you've had friends that you've just kind of like distance with like from like middle school
00:42:39
high school like growing up into college you know like I feel like yeah oh my god this can change
00:42:43
and people can change so much there's so many friends I've had that like I was maybe best friends
00:42:49
with that one point that we aren't best friends anymore but we never had a folly now we just kind
00:42:54
of like faded and I think it's so weird and I wonder if anyone listening like also feels this way
00:43:00
like post grad or maybe like two years post grad is everyone kind of goes down their own path and
00:43:08
I think especially after college because in college you're kind of like you're not made to all be
00:43:12
the same person but everyone kind of has this like same lifestyle routine going on and then like
00:43:16
after college it's really like okay this is your life this is your time to like it's like what you
00:43:20
make of it do a job you want to do find hobbies that make you happy hang out with who you want to hang out
00:43:27
with so like everyone kind of slowly after college starts to like shape into who they really want
00:43:34
to be and I think that's a beautiful thing but I also think sometimes you realize you're like whoa
00:43:39
like we're so different as people but like we are so close and we're best friends but like we're
00:43:45
just different people like do you have that with any of your friends where you could feel like you
00:43:51
see differences and you guys are like what you like to do and you're like you could like flash forward
00:43:55
three years and see you guys are just like in all different places and even like where you like
00:43:59
to live and what you want to do with your life I mean yeah definitely I feel like even with my friends
00:44:05
that are like long distance just like friends from high school that like we all went to different
00:44:08
colleges like we all like do our own things and even just like in the way like like Catherine
00:44:13
so southern now with like her Bama boots and stuff like because she goes to Bama and I'm just like
00:44:18
it's so funny because like we are so different when you look at us like where we are but we're
00:44:24
still in love with each other and best friends probably till the day we die um but it's just funny
00:44:29
to see how like everyone like takes on like different paths in life and like you can be so different
00:44:35
and still be really close to someone which I think is really special
00:44:41
the love affair event is back at Whole Foods Market through Valentine's Day with sales to help
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you celebrate that special someone set the tone with gifts like scented candles and Whole Foods
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Market's 24 Sim bunch of roses skip the reservation and make a sizzling surf and turf with deals on
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quality steaks lobster tails and more dessert pro tip you'll find their chocolate covered strawberries
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in the bakery department feel the love with delicious savings at Whole Foods Market
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00:46:00
today and sometimes your friends with people and you're like I feel like if we met today I don't
00:46:07
know if we would be like I don't know if we would like find each other in the room and like gravitate
00:46:12
towards each other but like we've been friends for so long that we're good friends and I think that's
00:46:16
what's really cool about friendship and what goes to show is like it's different than
00:46:20
it's just different than a boyfriend like a boyfriend is someone you like
00:46:24
it's one person yeah for most it's one person that you are very compatible with you see you're
00:46:31
got you see yourself having like the same life it's just it's much more like distinct and I think
00:46:36
like a friend is just it's so broad it's just someone you enjoy spending time with talking with or
00:46:42
maybe it's someone's like they just know so much about you and you are kind of just there for
00:46:47
each other and it's like unspoken type of way I don't know I feel like I have so many different
00:46:51
friends and so many different kinds of friends like everywhere and it's just it's so fun like
00:46:57
you know you can be like this person with like your one crazy friend or you can be like wholesome
00:47:01
with your other friend and like go make pottery with them and like I have like all different kinds of
00:47:06
friends and I think it's so so fun it is and I think making friends is cool too we're still making
00:47:13
new friends life isn't over like we have just gotten so close with Juliann Payton and some I can
00:47:20
like sometimes catch a vibe with well sometimes I'm wrong yeah I am sometimes wrong but I feel like
00:47:28
there's type of people where like I meet them once and I'm like okay so we're gonna be friends like
00:47:33
I could just tell we're gonna be friends like that happened with like Zola I met him literally one
00:47:37
hour and I was like okay so like do you want to come with me to Coachella because like you're an
00:47:42
amazing time like I remember when I met someone and literally two hours later I was like this is my
00:47:48
best friend I was introducing him as my best friend and I was like wait I met him two hours ago
00:47:54
but that's just like what's so fun I just love meeting new people you could never have too many
00:47:59
friends can keep going and there's no limit and there's no need to limit yourself to like a set group
00:48:06
or a set wave of friends and I think if you're in a position where you're kind of feeling like
00:48:12
I am friends with people but I kind of feel different like I feel I don't know like I guess for me
00:48:19
which I think work is like a big part of my life and what I do for work is not normal by any means
00:48:26
so a lot of my friends I mean like pretty all my friends that you know I went to college with
00:48:33
and we're all just like talking about our days or work or what's going on and everyone's talking
00:48:38
about they're like nine to five and I'm like oh like you know it's hard for me sometimes like relate
00:48:44
so it is cool to have those type of friends like Jake who someone that we he gets it we talk about work
00:48:52
a lot we help each other and I think there's different types of friends for different types of
00:48:57
things sometimes so if you're in a position where you're like I feel different than all my friends
00:49:01
and I feel like they're not understanding me and I feel like they just aren't I don't know like
00:49:07
we aren't connecting on the same level and maybe you're like going off on your own path like
00:49:11
that doesn't mean you don't have to be friends with them anymore you could still make new friends and
00:49:16
I think finding friends through hobbies or through what you really enjoy in life is really really
00:49:20
important because you want friends to enjoy those moments with I mean I feel like that's like
00:49:25
part of the reason we became such good friends is because of like you've helped me with like
00:49:30
work and social media and things yeah
00:49:32
us like we're friends are we friends okay maybe not are we gonna have a friendship
00:49:39
girl yeah say something you have to tell me I just think the biggest takeaway is to like
00:49:47
notice and don't forget when your friends are if they've done shady things you know and kind of
00:49:56
just like hold yourself to a high standard and don't let people walk all over you like I might
00:50:03
but yeah I think it's important to note for yourself like what your priorities are in a friendship
00:50:09
and the kind of friend that you want someone to be to you I think you should be that kind of friend
00:50:15
to other people and yeah I think depending on the situation sometimes it's a lack of communication
00:50:23
sometimes the person's just a psychopath and you can't really see yourself being friends anymore
00:50:27
and yeah I mean I'm still stuck on this fact that like when people fight there's two people that
00:50:33
think that they're right and I'm like I don't know why does it make me sad for both people then
00:50:38
because I'm like you both think that you're right so like is is there always someone wrong and if I
00:50:43
or like is someone always delusional or is it always just like you don't see eye to eye or
00:50:50
someone maybe you're both wrong like what is it I would like to know sometimes I sometimes it's not
00:50:57
seen eye to eye but I do think sometimes it's people sometimes people won't admit when they're wrong
00:51:03
so you think that there's always one person wrong and one person right it's it's very
00:51:07
situational you know can't just say that for like a broad spectrum of every fight I know but it's
00:51:15
just crazy to me that like both people always think that they're right like anytime you fight with
00:51:19
someone I feel like both people think that they're right any fight I've been in in my life has just
00:51:23
been like something you really really need to talk through and see both sides and then it can
00:51:29
always come to like a conclusion you if you ever just like cut off a fight like and like don't
00:51:35
let someone like fully like explain themselves and they're like whatever like I'm done like you have
00:51:38
to be like no like we're talking about this like what are you mad about and really get down to like
00:51:43
the bits and pieces of it and then you can like fully resolve it because if you both like genuinely
00:51:48
care for each other and you're fighting about something then like you have to get down to the
00:51:51
bottom of it and then you can work it out but if one person's just like being a bitch or like they
00:51:57
don't really like you then that's different you know yeah I think that's my biggest thing is like
00:52:02
when people don't take accountability this person that like I had a following out with a few months ago
00:52:08
and I was like hello and they were like no I did not do any of that that's not who I am like duh duh duh
00:52:15
and I'm like okay so you're just like twisting and trying to manipulate my mind but I don't know
00:52:20
I feel like I'm kind of just like more at peace with things this year like there's no need to have
00:52:26
all this hatred I'm just like we just weren't meant to be on the same path yeah I'm a big
00:52:32
believer in whatever is meant to be will be you can't force anything too hard you know you can't
00:52:38
force someone to be your friend you can't force someone to like you you can't force someone to be
00:52:41
nice to you so it is what it is but I do think just in general friendships are so important in life
00:52:50
but I don't think you should be holding on to a bad friend just because you want a friend
00:52:55
there's so many opportunities to make friends in life that like if someone's treating you like
00:53:00
shit you shouldn't like stay with them just because you want friends and I know it can be really hard
00:53:04
in like middle school and high school where people are just like really bad and they're like I just
00:53:07
want friends and they'll stick around with people that kind of suck but you know again it's very
00:53:16
situational but just be aware and like hold yourself to a high standard like you deserve better
00:53:21
and you should know that about yourself and don't let people be mean to you and walk all over you
00:53:26
because you can find friends in anything you do in any aspect of life I feel like that was a great
00:53:32
catch up and yeah I love you guys don't get to down on yourself and if you are the person that
00:53:42
messed up it's okay because I know sometimes I'm stubborn too but it is okay to be like oh yeah
00:53:48
that was shitty of me or oh yeah I shouldn't have done that like it's okay to take accountability
00:53:52
and it honestly will probably only make things better any other words teeny um love you
00:54:00
bye love you guys I'll see you next week don't forget to subscribe follow this podcast wherever
00:54:06
you're listening or watching it I love you guys bye
00:54:19
wait did I just turn that off how do I get that back on
00:54:29
the love affair event is back at Whole Foods Market through Valentine's Day with sales to help
00:54:37
you celebrate that special someone set the tone with gifts like scented candles and Whole Foods
00:54:42
markets 24/7 bunch of roses skip the reservation and make a sizzling surf and turf with deals on
00:54:49
quality steaks lobster tails and more dessert pro tip you'll find their chocolate covered strawberries
00:54:55
in the bakery department feel the love with delicious savings at Whole Foods Market
00:55:00
hi it's Kylie Kelsey mom athlete and coach girls should always feel confident doing what they love
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