Transcript

“You remember that old ad we used to see on TV — “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” It was a pitiful old lady who’d hit the ground somewhere and couldn’t get up. It was so badly done. That was kind of a joke, but they were trying to deliver a message I got loud and clear the other night when I fell and couldn’t get up.

Chris wasn’t at home at the time. I was in my bedroom, and I needed to get up and go to the toilet. I slipped on my way there and came crashing down. I was worried mostly about Zeke, who reads my every emotion. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, paws hanging over the side, looking at me like, What happened? I explained to him that it was okay, it was going to be all right.

It was the middle of the night, and I needed sleep. I decided, why fight it when you can’t get up? So I didn’t. I don’t think I slept, but I lay there for a long time collecting myself.

No sooner had I gotten up to go to the bathroom and take a shower than I slipped in the shower. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. I cracked my head on the side of the tub. You can see a little of the dark bruising.

Eventually I made my way back to the bed — the bathroom is right beside it — and collapsed. Fortunately, I have that gift: I can fall asleep when I need to. Zeke came and joined me, keeping an eye on me all night long. I was very touched by it.

But it was pretty scary, a wake-up call in many ways. I don’t know exactly what I was waking up to. I guess I’m going to have to get one of those watches that allow you to notify the world that you’ve fallen. I think that’s what I’ll do.

Other than that, I’m still here. I’m not dead yet. I felt like it at the time, I have to say. It was scary. Those sobering moments like that make me think about what depresses me about the state of the world — the terrible anger and all of the people who want to make the world a worse place and are thriving on it.

We’re in a really sick period of depression. The world itself is suffering, and I don’t know how we can get out of it. I may be speaking to you from a slightly depressed moment here, but I feel I should say something about it. I don’t like the way the world is going right now, and we all know what I mean.

I don’t want to discuss anybody who’s been martyred, or anybody who thinks they have valid opinions of the world. I’m just sad to see it — sad to see that people can be that ugly to each other.

That’s all I have to say, really. I’ll try to be more cheerful next time and tell you something about my life, things I’ve loved and people I’ve loved. But right now, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I’m living with that. I’m sitting with it. I hope you don’t mind me sharing it with you.”

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit armisteadmaupin.substack.com/subscribe