Horsemen seems to have gotten memory-holed immediately after the fest circuit (or...during production by much of the below-the-line talent?), and with good reason -- it's bafflingly poor, studded with visual clichés, its actors apparently undirected, its script evidently without access to a Bible despite basing its tortuously contrived serial-killer procedural plot on more than one book therein. It's got a grieving-family subplot that should have come to the foreground, and a couple of actors -- including Quaid! -- who could have carried that version of the movie, but the version we got is a disorganized Seven For Teens with a crumbly topping of dated kink-shaming. A lot of the cast is either straight-up wasted in this mess or doing more than they need to, but Quaid is actually not bad. "Come and see" (...sigh) what we mean in the latest episode of Quaid In Full.

Overall score: 1.5

QQQ score: 6.25

Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 433

Don't Say A Word counter: 2

SHOW NOTES

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• Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page


• Literally the only contemporary review we could find


• Project Greenlight S02


• S02E01: The Long Riders


• The mystery Bible verse is Exodus 9:15 , if anyone cares