Extra Hot Great's Dave Cole is back to help us list the many complaints prompted by 2009's dreadful and boring live-action take on G.I. Joe, including attempts to elevate an already-fine cartoon, suboptimal explosions and fight scenes, pointless origin stories, creepy side views of Quaid holograms, and the movie putting SDB in the position of defending Transformers 2. G.I. Joe lifts scenes almost wholesale from Star Wars, Apollo 13, and others, and it still sucks -- but is DQ perfectly cast, and not the third or fourth choice for once? Did Channing Tatum's character learn about marriage proposals from Galaxy Quest's historical documents? And could we identify the exact moment, in the middle of a line of dialogue, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt gave up and went full Vincent Price on The Brady Bunch? So many questions (and Winston Lights-infused line deliveries)...but knowing is half the battle in the latest Quaid In Full.

Overall score: 2

QQQ score: 6.5

Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 447

Don't Say A Word counter: 2

SHOW NOTES

• Follow us on Twitter


• Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page


• The Extra Hot Great podcast


• Dave's previous QIF guest shot, S05E01: DragonHeart


• Ebert's review of GIJ:TROC


• Rolling Stone's


• Zack Handlen's at AV Club
  


• Cobra Commander video at Something Awful
  

Special Guest: David T. Cole.