Saving Ourselves For Marriage: Part 3

More Valentines Days.

Based on a post by Architect 23 94, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected.

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The guilt provoked by Mr. Jacobs' observation was fleeting,
and Emily texted me 3 days later, "Can we have another Valentine's Day
tonight?"

It was clear that the charade was over, and 'Valentine's
Day' was her chosen euphemism for spending less-than-wholesome time together.
Our relationship had become a dichotomy of two very different and
compartmentalized romances. One of a pure and honorable public courtship, and
the other of two young lovers clandestinely exploring physical passions.

"Yes, 7?"

"See you then."

This time I locked the side door while we were closing the
store, then unlocked it for Emily after Mr. Jacobs left.

I thought about our new paradigm while sautéing some chicken
then slicing it over the top of two Caesar salads. We were no longer pretending
that our physical explorations were isolated happenstantial occurrences. The
primary purpose of the night was clear, and I decided I might as well plan for
it.

An erection was imminent, and I decided to change clothes
rather than risk being painfully bound-up in my jeans again. I rummaged through
drawers and hanging clothes, carefully considering the functional benefits of
each piece while also not wanting to appear too overtly presumptuous.
Ultimately, I decided on a pair of loose-fitting linen pants, and a nice
front-pocket t-shirt.

I think Emily had the same idea. She arrived wearing a
well-coordinated athletic outfit that was very fashionable, but very out of
character for her. She wore white running shoes with low-cut ankle socks, a
well-fitted white Lululemon zip-down hoodie, and baby-blue Lululemon yoga
leggings that ended a few inches above her ankles.

I had seen Emily in a variety of very attractive dresses and
skirts, but nothing that revealed the shape of her body like those leggings.
They fit like a second skin and clearly showed every soft curve of her legs and
butt. The sight was incredibly sexy, and I stared unabashedly as she hung up
her winter coat and came to greet me in the kitchen.

We met in an all-consuming embrace and I lifted her into my
arms. She added support by wrapping her legs around my hips and we began
hungrily kissing, tongues eagerly intertwining.

I was not interested at all in the salads sitting on the
counter and carried Emily over to the sofa. Her legs loosened their grip on me
and, with our mouths still joined, I bent forward to place her on the floor.
She guided me backward into a slouched seating position and climbed over me to
sit straddled over my left thigh, in the same way we had a few days ago.

As each second passed, our desires grew and inhibitions
loosened. In the midst of our urgent kissing, Emily began slowly and deliberately
rocking her pelvis on my leg, and my hands boldly slid over her hips to
encourage their motions.

The erotic scenario brought physical sensations on a level
that I had never experienced before. I could feel my erection obscenely tenting
the thin fabric of my pants, and my balls hanging heavily between my legs. Both
were hyper-sensitive to every subtle movement, and my completely engorged cock
throbbed with every beat of my pulse.

I loved feeling the motions of Emily's hips in my hands but
yearned for more direct contact than I could have through the thick cloth of
her hoodie. My large hands clumsily attempted to slide under the snuggly
stretched tails without success.

Sensing my intentions, Emily pulled away from our kissing
and maintained eye contact while she sat upright on my thigh. Without a spoken
word, she unzipped and discarded the hoodie to reveal a thin, strappy sports
bra matching the baby-blue color of her leggings.

Her eyes watched mine as they surveyed the amazing sight
before me. The bra concealed two compressed mounds that appeared proportionate
in size to her very petite frame, with subtle curves of cleavage extending
above its swooping neckline. My eyes soaked in her feminine form above and
below the bra, absorbing the softly toned body and flawless flushed skin
revealed to me for the very first time.

She watched as I admired her in amazement, "You are so
beautiful."

Without saying anything, she laid herself back on top of me
and our mouths passionately met again. My hands went to her hips, feeling every
curve through the thin fabric leggings and directing her to resume rocking on
my leg.

She did, and her motions quickly evolved from rocking into a
firm rhythmic grinding. Shortly thereafter, our kissing stopped and we pressed
our foreheads together, both breathing heavily with mouths inches apart.

I could feel heat building on my thigh, emanating from both
her legging covered folds and the friction of her intensifying pressure. Our
eyes locked, Emily placed her hands on my chest and pushed her torso upright to
adjust the angle of her grinding. She continued supporting herself on my chest
while my hands slid up the sides of her thin waist and intuitively palmed her
bra covered breasts, kneading them the best I could through the restrictive fabric.

Emily intensified her grinding and the combined stimulation
sent her to a new level, eyes rolling backward and body tremoring while she
lost control. One hand still supported herself on my chest, but the other
unconsciously dropped downward and grasped my fabric covered cock.

The mere touch of her hand triggered my own reaction,
tightening my balls and soaking my linen pants with copious surges of cum. I
looked down in horror to see the messy results of my eruption, but also saw a
large darkening blue circle in the crotch of Emily's leggings.

I looked upward from the sights and smells of our
fornication and met Emily's eyes. We silently stared at each other for several
minutes, telepathically sharing a complex and confusing mix of lust, shock, and
guilt.

Eventually, Emily dismounted my leg and did her best to make
herself presentable before leaving. We said goodbye with a timid hug, uneaten
salads still on the kitchen counter.

Guilt.

We both knew we crossed a sinful line that night, and I
think we were both scared. It wasn't sex in the traditional sense of the word,
and we were technically both still virgins, but our actions were clearly
outside the acceptable boundaries of Biblical purity and integrity. I know I
was scared for several reasons but, most of all, scared that our relationship
may have been permanently damaged. I wasn't the spiritual leader she wanted me
to be, and I wasn't strong enough to maintain her purity.

Over the next 12 hours, I vacillated between wanting to
address the issue head-on and wanting to bury my head in the sand to ignore it.
Around noon the next day, I manned-up enough to do the right thing and texted
Emily, "Can you stop by the store this afternoon?"

"Yes. What's up?"

"I think we should talk about last night."

My phone rang a few seconds later with a voice call. It was
Emily.

"Hi Michael."

"Hey."

"I can stop by the store, but I'm not ready to talk
about last night."

I started to protest, "I'm so sorry. I'm worried I
ruined;”

She interrupted firmly but compassionately, "Stop!; Michael,
I love you. Nothing that happened last night changed that. I wanted everything
that happened just as much as you did, if not more. You are not to blame. If
anybody, I was the instigator."

"But I;”

She interjected again, "Michael!; I have a lot of
conflicting feelings and I'm not ready to talk yet. I'll let you know when I
am. Until then, please know that I love you and I don't want this to be an
awkward thing between us. It's just something that we need to figure out
together."

"Ok, I love you too."

We ended our phone call, and my phone chimed a text alert a
few seconds later, "I'll stop by around 4. I love you."

I typed back, "See you then. I love you too."

Emily did stop by the store that day and it was surprisingly
relaxed and comfortable. We talked about current happenings with school and our
friends, just like we had during any of her past social visits to the store.
Mr. Jacobs was there and even commented how he enjoyed Emily's visits and
seeing us together, to which we both smiled in appreciation.

Vivid Dreams.

The 'public courtship' portion of our relationship continued
as normal over the next days and weeks, spending time together as we always
had, though I was admittedly self-conscious and sheepish during Sunday
afternoon dinners at her parents' house.

I mentally declared the end of 'Valentine's Day' and prayed
constantly for the health of our relationship, patiently waiting for Emily to
be ready to talk. My determination for future integrity was strong and
steadfast; for about a week. After that, occasional flashbacks of passion and
physical pleasure began creeping into my thoughts, and slowly started eroding
my resolve. Several nights, I awoke from very vivid and unwholesome dreams with
painful throbbing erections, effectively eliminating any remaining willpower I
may have had.

Coincidentally, about 3-weeks af