We evolved shame as a gift. A signal that whispers when we've drifted from who we might become. What if the discomfort you feel isn't the problem, but the compass?

This episode explores a surprising truth: the hardest patterns to change aren't the ones destroying us, but the ones keeping us comfortably mediocre. Yet they hold us back and sometimes shames even stops us from acknowledging they exist.

But we need to step back and ask if we are truly happy with our choices, the way we live our life and what we would like in it and wouldn't. And slowly learn how to build the healthier life we seek.

Three Actionable Takeaways:

• 
  

  View shame as information about misalignment, not evidence of inadequacy—it evolved to guide you, not punish you

  
  


• 
  

  Recognize that growth happens in difficulty, not comfort—the urge to escape is the moment to lean in

  
  


• 
  

  Build intrinsic motivation rooted in values, not just outcomes—sustainable change comes from who you're becoming, not what you're avoiding

  
  

This episode originally aired on the Unhooked Podcast by Jeremy Lipkowitz.

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Growth Mindset Psychology:

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to addictions

03:26 Sam's Podcast and Philosophy

05:44 Defining Growth Mindset

09:35 Sam's Journey and Personal Growth

10:26 The Power of Mindset in Education

15:33 Growth Mindset and Recovery

16:49 Neuroplasticity and Overcoming Addiction

17:38 Sam's Experience with Porn Addiction

24:17 Challenges of Identifying and Addressing Addictions

25:39 The Subtle Creep of Addictive Behaviors

26:35 The Influence of Social Media and Algorithms

27:50 The Thin Line Between Social Media and Porn

28:15 Female Empowerment or Objectification?

29:55 The Impact of Porn on Real-Life Relationships

32:41 The Role of Shame in Human Evolution

34:56 The Social Function of Gossip

36:02 The Duality of Human Nature

38:36 The Duality of Shame and Success

39:44 Empathy and Understanding Human Behavior

44:37 Embracing Our Animal Nature

46:17 Lessons from Podcasting

51:22 Final Thoughts and Future Projects

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