DiscoverThe Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture and Leadership at HomeTMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids Through Conflict With Grownups
TMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids Through Conflict With Grownups

TMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids Through Conflict With Grownups

Update: 2025-09-08
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🎙️ TMIT 26: Sometimes kids run into conflict with other kids. But sometimes kids run into conflict with grownups—teachers, coaches, camp counselors, even random adults in the community. And when that happens, most of us as parents want to swoop in and handle it ourselves.

In this episode, we share a different path. One where we don’t jump in to solve the problem, but instead equip our kids to handle it directly. We call this leading from the bench, and it’s one of the best ways to help our kids grow their leadership skills and build family culture.

We walk through:

  • Why “sometimes adults suck” is a simple fact our kids will face.
  • The sweet spot where saying something is necessary—but it’s more effective coming from our kid.
  • How research shows that giving stretch assignments—challenges just outside their comfort zone, with scaffolds for success—is the #1 driver of leadership growth.
  • Why the trusted ally in the situation shouldn’t always be you, and how to support your kid in finding that person.
  • How to equip your kid with language that aligns with your family values.

We also share a real story from tennis camp that left our kids feeling unsafe. And for the first time ever, our daughters are on the pod! You’ll hear directly from Hunter how she handled it and how (in her view) it changed the outcome—for her, for her sister Jade, and even for the adult involved.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a new way of thinking about what to do the next time your child comes home saying: “An adult misunderstood me… and it didn’t feel okay.”

Because as much as we want to protect them, the real gift we can give our kids is the confidence, language, and resilience to navigate conflict on their own.

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TMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids Through Conflict With Grownups

TMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids Through Conflict With Grownups

Danielle and Greg Neufeld