DiscoverThe Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture and Leadership at HomeTMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger into Insight as a Family
TMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger into Insight as a Family

TMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger into Insight as a Family

Update: 2025-11-10
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If we’re serious about building resilient family culture, we have to talk about the emotions that actually show up in real homes — and anger is a big one.

For both of us, anger has been tricky. We’ve tried to calm it, redirect it, send it to its room… but we hadn’t really named its purpose. So we started asking: What can anger teach us? And how can we work with it instead of against it?

In this episode, we explore:

  • Why anger shows up so fast — especially in families with young kids
  • Brené Brown’s idea of anger as an indicator emotion
  • The difference between containing anger and suppressing it
  • Why “go calm down” and “count to 10” don’t work when someone is activated
  • Greg’s take on men, covert depression, and how “flatness” turns into irritability
  • Danielle’s take on mom rage — and how many girls were never taught safe ways to express anger
  • How anger can be used to fuel change (hello, Rosa Parks and Taylor’s Version 👋)

Two goals for working with anger in family culture:

  1. Learn to contain anger — without suppressing it or letting it take over
  2. Learn to translate anger into insight

Why this matters: When we normalize anger as part of being human, we turn it from something to fear into something to understand — and that understanding can become a family superpower.

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TMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger into Insight as a Family

TMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger into Insight as a Family

Danielle and Greg Neufeld