The 90/10 Rule

The 90/10 Rule

Update: 2024-07-29
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Brandon explores why many parents fixate on setting boundaries, emphasizing the need to first understand what they can and cannot control. Instead of relying solely on boundaries, parents should focus on connecting with their children through patience and open-mindedness. Using the 90/10 Rule—spending 90% of the time connecting and only 10% correcting—parents can engage more effectively by listening and responding thoughtfully. Effective communication involves listening more, reacting less, and avoiding impulsive confrontations. Long-term influence is built through consistent, calm, and supportive behavior, rather than nagging or anger. By walking alongside their children and offering support, parents can maintain strong relationships and be more influential in their lives.

This audio is from the 'Hope for Parents with Struggling Teens' group, held every Monday night at Inspired Resolutions Counseling in Yorba Linda. All voices of group members have been removed for confidentiality purposes.


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The 90/10 Rule

The 90/10 Rule

Brandon Joffe, LCSW