The Power of Romanticizing Your Life
Description
You might have seen it on TikTok and Instagram: people romanticizing their lives.
You’ve probably seen the videos…someone lighting a candle before bed, sipping coffee slowly while reading a book, arranging flowers on a desk, or even turning a trip to the grocery store into something cinematic.
At first glance, it might seem like nothing more than an aesthetic or even a bit of a social media performance. Underneath this, however, powerful psychology is at work.
Romanticizing your life is actually about how we pay attention, how we savor, and how we find meaning in the everyday.
In this piece, we look at the science behind romanticizing your life, and how you can start to do this too.
For a deeper dive, you can listen to the latest episode of Mental Health Bites here or on Apple Podcasts. You can also find more short clips and helpful tips at my YouTube channel.
Let’s jump in!
The Science Behind Romantizing Your Life
One reason why I think this trend is exploding right now is that we live in a time of heightened stress, political polarization, and economic uncertainty.
Because of this people frequently search for small ways to take control of their inner worlds. Whether through a morning ritual or turning chores into a mindful practice, romanizing daily life is one way to do this, it’s a way to reclaim agency and create calm.
Psychologists have known about this for a while. They call this savoring.
Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff, two pioneers in savoring research, define it as the capacity to attend to, appreciate, and enhance positive experiences. Their studies show that people who savor regularly report greater happiness, stronger relationships, and even better coping with stress.
What’s particularly nice about this is that savoring doesn’t require big moments like a wedding or a vacation. The most powerful form of savoring, in fact, often comes from ordinary experiences— think of the warmth of sunlight streaming through a window, the crisp sound of biting into an apple, or the feeling of clean sheets at night. When you slow down enough to notice (and savor) the world around you, your brain encodes these as rich, positive memories.
There’s also a neurological layer at play. When we savor, the brain releases dopamine and oxytocin (neurochemicals that boost mood and social connection). Over time, deliberately savoring strengthens neural pathways for positivity, helping shift your baseline mood upward.
Finally, there’s the meaning-making element. Romanticizing your life invites you to view the mundane as symbolic or poetic. Washing dishes becomes an act of cleansing and not a chore. Walking to work becomes a ritual of transition. These small reframes add richness to our lives in a way that pure productivity never could.
A Cinematic Way Forward: The 3x3 Savoring Method
One of my favorite ways to romanticize life is what I like to call the 3x3 Savoring Method.
* Step 1: Pick three micro-moments each day. Look for the small things. The smell of coffee beans, the laughter of a coworker, the comfort of a hot shower. They don’t have to be picture-perfect, just moments you can lean into.
* Step 2: Spend at least 30 seconds with each one. This is crucial. Most of us rush through positive experiences so quickly that the brain doesn’t have time to register them. Linger for half a minute. Pay attention to the textures, colors, sounds, and feelings. For example, if you’re savoring your morning tea, notice the warmth of the cup in your hands, the steam rising, and the flavor on your tongue.
* Step 3: Share or reflect. The research shows savoring is amplified when you share it. That could mean telling a friend, snapping a photo, or writing a quick note in a journal. By naming it, you reinforce the memory and increase its impact.
These steps might seem small, but they’re deeply impactful. Mood repair doesn’t usually come from big, dramatic interventions, rather it comes from stacking small moments of joy, over and over, until they build into resilience.
If you follow the 3×3 Method for one week, you’ll collect 21 distinct positive moments. Imagine doing that for a month, a year, a lifetime. That’s how romanticizing your life turns from a social media trend into a sustainable practice for well-being.
You’ve got this!
The next time you see someone post a dreamy montage of their morning, know that you’re not just watching a trend, you’re seeing positive psychology in action. When you romanticize your life, you’re making the choice to savor, to notice, and to find beauty in what’s already here.
If this piece resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with someone who might need to hear it. If you’d like access to even more resources, private Q&As, and my entire back catalogue of techniques and tools, I encourage you to check out my paid subscriber option.
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About me:
Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, television and podcast host, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage. An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and expert witness work. She is often called on by the media as an expert psychologist and is also a sought after public speaker for universities, businesses, and organizations.
Dr. Judy received her bachelor’s degrees in Psychology and Business Administration from UC Berkeley, and her masters and doctorate from SDSU/UCSD Joint Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology. She completed a National Institute of Mental Health sponsored fellowship at UCLA’s Semel Institute.
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