As the '70s began, motion picture vampires were d-e-a-d dead. How would they survive the disco decade? By moving to the small screen, starring on Broadway, and trying to be funny. In the process, they fulfilled their true destiny and finally became romantic heroes.

Bestselling author, Grady Hendrix, continues his vain attempts to get you to buy his latest book, How to Sell a Haunted House, and to sweeten the deal we're going to discuss Evel Knievel, Suckula, and recruit an entire cast to do the voices, hire Chris LaMartina of The WNUF Halloween Special fame to produce the show, and forcibly draft Mike Walls of Audio Esoterica to engineer the spooky sounds.