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You look a little lost in thought.Everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking, we always talk about being a good friend, a good listener, and understanding others, right?

Of course. That's kind of the heart of our channel.

Exactly. But then I thought, what about the one person we spend every moment with? Ourselves.

Wow, that's a really good point. Maybe the most important friendship we'll ever have is with ourselves. So today, let's flip the script. Not how to listen to others, but how to practice self-love and be our own best friend. How do we do that, though? Be a good friend to ourselves. Honestly, right now, I don't feel like my own friend. I feel like my own worst critic.

What do you mean? What's going on?

Well, for example, I was practicing for my English presentation and I kept stumbling over the same word, statistics. I must have said it wrong a dozen times. And my inner voice just started yelling at me. Why is this so difficult for you? Everyone else gets it. You should have practiced more. You're never going to be good enough.

Oh, I know that voice. I sent an email last week with a typo in the client's name. I felt so embarrassed and I called myself an idiot for an hour straight.

Right. But here's the thing. If I told you I'd made that typo, you would have instantly said, "Don't worry about it. It's a tiny mistake. It happens to everyone."

Of course I would.

So why is it so easy to be kind and forgiving to our friends, but we're so incredibly harsh and cruel to ourselves? It's exhausting.

That is the real question, isn't it? And I think it's because we've never really been taught how to be on our own side. We think being hard on ourselves is what makes us better, but it actually just makes us feel worse.

I get what you're saying. I really do. But I have to be honest, whenever I hear the term self-love, part of me just cringes a little. It sounds so self-indulgent, like it's all about bubble baths, expensive treats, and posting Instagram quotes about good vibes only. Isn't it just a dressed-up way of being selfish or lazy? It feels like it goes against everything we're taught about being humble and working hard.

Thank you for saying that. Seriously, that is probably the most common misunderstanding about self-love, and it's why so many people struggle to embrace it. But what if I told you that self-love is the exact opposite of selfish?

How? How is focusing on yourself not selfish?

Think of it this way. Selfishness is taking from others to benefit yourself. It's demanding their time, their energy, their resources for your own gain without considering them. Self-love is about fortifying yourself so you have more to give to others. It's not about taking from others. It's about building up your own inner resources.

Okay. So, if it's not bubble baths, what is it really?

It's about the everyday choices. It's self-acceptance. It's looking in the mirror after a mistake and instead of calling yourself an idiot, saying, "I'm learning. It's okay." It's self-respect. It's choosing to eat a meal that nourishes your body because you respect it, not because you're punishing it. It's setting a boundary and saying no to a late work call because you respect your own personal time and need for rest.

So, it's more about how you talk to yourself and the choices you make for your well-being.

Exactly. It's practical. It's being a good friend to yourself. Imagine your best friend came to you feeling exactly how you feel right now. Tired, frustrated, criticizing herself over a small mistake. What would you tell her?

I'd tell her to stop being so hard on herself. Everyone makes mistakes. That she's smart and capable. And one tiny thing doesn't define her. I'd tell her to take a break, maybe go for a walk to clear her head.

Right? You'd offer her encouragement, not criticism. You'd suggest a boundary like taking a break. You'd want to protect her energy. That is self-love. It's treating yourself with the same compassion, patience, and support that you so freely offer to everyone else in your life.

And you're saying that's not the foundation of being selfish. It's the foundation of everything else.

It's the foundation of everything. Think about it. You can't pour from an empty cup. How can you be truly present for your friends, your family, your work if you're running on empty? If your inner world is filled with criticism and exhaustion, filling your own cup first through self-love isn't selfish. It's necessary. It's what allows you to show up as a better partner, a better friend, a better teacher, a better student. It's the solid ground you stand on so you can build a strong life and strong relationships.

Wow. Okay. When you put it that way, it doesn't sound selfish at all. It sounds responsible. It sounds like stability.