Meet Dan, a single guy who finds himself in an extraordinary position with many of the women in his life. They talk to him and tell him what they want. Some of them want to have sensual experiences with him. As he learned about Deliberate Orgasm and the technique of DOing, his sensual skills got sharper. He hones in on key points to respond to the age-old question, “What does a woman want in a man?” In this interview he candidly describes the answer.

How would you describe DOing to someone who had never heard about it?

Describing DOing, I guess an easy way to describe it would be to tell someone that both people put their attention on one person’s pleasure and they agree to that. It’s a deliberate thing. You’re not just probably going to do this. You are going to do it. Both people are going to put their attention on that one person’s orgasm.

What do you notice in your own body when you are DOing?

I can feel her orgasm. It’s there the whole time. It intensifies and de-intensifies. I have had a lot of dates with Emma, so I am going to use that as an example. To start out, we talk and I can feel the ride beginning as soon as I start putting my attention on her pussy. I can tell when her attention goes to her pussy. She’ll be talking about stuff, like how was your day and I like your boots and then Whoomp, I feel her feeling her pussy and I know that’s where we are going.

I’ll start rubbing her leg and we have a lot of fun things we do. Sometimes I’ll use her pussy as a focal point and run my hand around it. Then when I get the lube out I have a couple of different ways of applying it. It’s been fun to surprise her a little bit. Sometimes I will let it fall onto her pussy. I can feel it, the ride begin then and the whole time my body feels really turned on. Yeah, I can feel the connection.

I have a really strong connection with my right index finger and her pussy. I can feel it right now as we are talking about it. It’s hard to describe, it’s a really good feeling. My whole body feels turned on. I’m sweating thinking about her, my whole body feels alive.

I’ve had sex, intercourse. You get your whole body into it and it’s a fun little work out and you do different things with her legs. This is great. She rides you and it’s fun. But that feeling you get with your finger on her clit, it’s like, as long as your attention is really on her clit and your attention is on her body. You can feel when her attention is wavering and you call her on it. Keep her attention on her own pussy. There’s nothing like that. It’s more addicting than any drug, anything ever. More than cigarettes, 12 years, I stopped because I want to continue to have dates and continue to put my finger on her clit.

I don’t think I’ll ever be with a woman for the rest of my life and not have DO dates with her because it feels so fucking good for me. That’s what I get out of it and I damn well know what she gets out of it. It’s really fun for her.

My whole body feels turned on, my whole body feels good. I feel good right now talking about it, thinking about her, thinking about our date tomorrow. I feel all of that. Right now I can feel flushing in my body.

When you first heard about DOing what were your thoughts about it?

I remember thinking, what is this? At my first BenchMark and hearing about it I could tell, when the person was talking about it on the hot seat, a woman was talking. They were taking us on quite a ride and it sounded like a really fun thing. That was my first time really hearing about the strokes and about peaking. It definitely piqued my interest.

At first it sounded weird, like why don’t we just fuck? It seems like she gets off just fine. I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend and I was thinking she got off just fine when we were having sex. She told me that. That was what I thought at first.

In what ways have your perceptions of women and DOing changed since you started DOing?

My perceptions have changed because I was given reality on the fact that all orgasm in a woman’s body comes from the clit and given reality on that because I have tried other things. I have enjoyed DOing and peaking. So I am a researcher and I have been having fun peaking by rubbing my finger around the inner labia. There is sensation there, there’s definitely sensation, but you can feel her body when you put your finger back on her clit. Especially after you go around the world, so to speak. It brings her way up and it feels really good.

How is the sensation unique when touching the clitoris?

You could feel her entire body into it, when you rub your hand along a woman’s leg or on her neck or on her breasts you can know she feels it, where your hand is. But when your hand is on her clit, her entire body is involved in that process. Her whole being is there with you and you can really feel her entire body come alive and it feels good in my body.

What do you attribute that to, that her whole entire body comes alive?

Because the sensation is there. You learn through the Welcomed Consensus or you look it up, there are more nerve endings in her clit than anywhere else in the body, so it’s science. All these nerve endings are there for a reason. One of the things that Sheri likes to say, blast out there, is that the clit is there only for pleasure. I can’t think of any other use for it. You don’t need it in the vagina, not for reproduction at all. And in fact it really doesn’t get much use during sex unless you are deliberate about it, other than the back side inside. Anyway, it feels good.

How have your relationships with women changed since you started DOing?

Well, I had DO dates last summer and after that there was a subtle change in me. I mean there was an immediate change right after and then it evened out to where it was much more subtle. I just wanted to give a woman an orgasm. At first it was sort of like I wanted to do it for me. I wanted to feel that feeling, wanted to give them that feeling and make orgasm a priority. But I am going to go do these other things.

So, my relationships with women changed because I was noticing more things about them. Then when I took the Common Sensuality course again I remember walking in and seeing Emma. The first time I had seen her was right after those DO dates last summer. I had taken the TLC course. After the TLC I held a couple of BenchMarks at my house and she came. Boy I was interested in that, in getting my hands on her pussy. I didn’t know what I felt. I knew that she had feelings too, she was interested, but at the time she wasn’t ready to really hear the material.

We’ve talked about it since then and it has really been an eye opener for me. She said specifically “I could feel you and it was a lot. I could feel you very strongly and I remember I could feel you wanting to come talk to me on the break. Then you did and it felt really good.” We tried to hook up using text messaging a bit and it never really panned out. I kind of gave up and I thought, I’ll just see her later. Then that weekend I walked into the Common Sensuality Course and I saw her and thought “This is why I took this course.” As soon as I walked in, I felt her. I felt her the whole weekend. Then we had our first date the following Friday.

How did that first date go?

I used a lot of tools that The Welcomed Consensus has given me. Control is agreement, I kept flashing on that all week. Because I was not in agreement with that, I was nervous. It came about because I asked her for the date.

She had declared on the second day of the Common Sensuality Course that she wanted a research partner. I thought Wow. There’d been some connection between us since then. I knew when she said that she was talking about me and she said that afterwards, that she was. Another person asked her first though. That was my first pang of jealousy, it felt really good. It made me feel like she wants a lot of orgasm. So I asked her that Tuesday. I kind of was beating around the bush at first so to speak, saying “How about we go out to dinner.” I could tell that she pulled it out of me. She knew what I was thinking. There was no question in her mind what we were going to do. She just wanted me to say it and so once I said it, it was declared.

So that first night… First, I spent all week getting my room ready. I bought pillows, sheets candles, chocolate. I cleaned my entire room, wiped down all the wood on my bed, did it to that level. Built this wonderful nest for her to come over to. She got there and she had on a black coat which is a short coat and she had on a sexy dress underneath. Under the dress she had on a bustier and she had thigh highs on as well and big boots. She was dressed to go out. She was dressed to impress and she did impress. I was very excited.

When we got upstairs, we chatted for a little while. An