Some couples seem to grow stronger and more connected over time, while others quietly drift apart and struggle without ever addressing the issues. In this conversation, we explore why emotional security is the key difference between thriving partnerships and those that suffer in silence. You’ll discover how secure attachment fosters trust, open communication, and lasting intimacy, and why insecure patterns like avoidance or anxiety often lead to conflict and disconnection. We will also share practical insights for breaking unhealthy cycles, building deeper emotional safety, and creating a relationship where both partners feel seen, valued, and supported. If you want to understand what truly makes love last, this discussion will give you the tools and clarity to strengthen your bond.

About the Guest:

**Aubrey Aust **
Expertise: Aubrey Aust is a researcher, writer, and master’s candidate at NYU, where she studies relational psychology and philosophy. Her work explores how we build emotional safety, experience intimacy, and reconnect with desire. Drawing on attachment theory, somatic psychology, and the ethics of care, Aubrey focuses on the concept of erotic intelligence: the emotional and embodied wisdom that helps us feel alive in our relationships and in our own skin.
Website: www.aubreyaust.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/

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Timestamps:

(0:00 ) Aubrey Aust's background and research in relational psychology
(1:04 ) Sponsor: Preorder bonuses for Dr. Diane Mueller's book
(2:06 ) Introduction and overview of today's episode topics
(3:34 ) Why does desire change over time and defining its evolution
(7:06 ) Understanding changes in needs, preferences, and attachment patterns
(15:29 ) Sponsor: Preorder bonuses for Dr. Diane Mueller's book
(16:09 ) Relational safety and communicating needs in intimate relationships
(21:09 ) Sponsor: Quickie Kit by Phoria
(21:46 ) Authenticity, building a nondemanding relationship, and tuning into your body’s needs
(25:14 ) Preview of part two: Safety and disconnection in intimacy
(26:20 ) Closing remarks, thank yous, and social media handles