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Connect The Dots B*tch
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Connect The Dots B*tch

Author: Amy Fiedler

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A podcast that delivers you an honest and alternative look inside your mental and emotional struggles. Expect Amy to deep dive on topics such as mainstream mental health, toxic relationships, communication faux pas, pop culture and social norms.
Amy is a Certified Trauma Support Specialist, Holistic Life Coach and Reiki Master Practitioner. If you are searching for understanding of yourself and others in your life, this podcast is for you.
184 Episodes
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In this final episode of 2023 and the last episode of season 7, Amy digs into the behaviors of projection, deflection, blame and attack. Why do people behave like that? Amy shares her insights into these behavior patterns and explains what YOU can do when face to face with them. Tune in to hear Amy offer you guidance and a memorable final episode before she takes a brief hiatus after giving birth. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: • Emotional management • Self-protective patterns • Unhealthy coping tools • A lack of accountability • Amy’s ‘Hot Potato Theory’ • Navigating difficult relationships
Amy digs deeper into the topic of disrespect and what many of the reasons are for your high tolerance of it. Last week she covered several submitted responses to the question, "Why do YOU think you tolerate too much?" And this week she's tackling even more from over-empathizing, not communicating a boundary is breached to having no limits on extending others the benefit of the doubt. Tune in to hear Amy offer you further insight and your next steps towards changing these patterns and struggles for good! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Believing love is 'enough' Over-empathizing Poor communication Avoidant behavior Not trusting your own judgment Making excuses for a lack of action + growth Using your self-awareness as an excuse As mentioned in this episode, the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors Course will reopen enrollment in January of the new year! To hear about it first and receive early bird discounts, place your Name and Email on the Waitlist here.
Amy responds to your submissions about why you believe you tolerate too much and over-communicate your boundaries. She provides you with further guidance for introspection, deeper understanding into your fears and patterns as well as what your next steps are towards changing it! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Fears of abandonment Fears of conflict Fears of backlash Boundary Setting with difficult people Tolerating mistreatment Childhood trauma Redefining love Healing from neglect Healing from childhood trauma Adulthood trauma People Pleasing patterns The resources mentioned in this episode to support you are linked below! - Access Amy's recommend Somatic Exercise program here. - Download Identifying Your Trauma Triggers Guide here. - Join the Waitlist for the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors course, opening enrollment January 2024. - Join the Waitlist for Rebuilding Self-Trust, re-opening enrollment March 2024.
This week Amy shares the top 3 ways you're shown and taught to not have boundaries growing up. She provides insight and understanding into the fears, unhealthy coping mechanisms and survival strategies adapted from being exposed to this type of caregiver modeling. Amy leaves you with a list of self-reflective prompts to get started reviewing your own relationships and behavior patterns. This episode will support you in identifying any current struggles as we move into what Amy calls "Boundary Season" and help you bring awareness to what you'd like to improve upon. If you're wanting additional support in the boundary setting process, especially after childhood or adulthood trauma, use this link to join the WAITLIST for the Boundary Setting for Trauma Survivors course re-opening this January 2024. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Childhood trauma Adulthood trauma Boundary setting struggles Adverse childhood experiences Toxic stress People pleasing Provides you self-reflective questions to process your experiences.
Amy discusses what is happening inside an individual who is unloading their pain but resistant to making any changes in their life. She digs into the different scenarios you may have encountered with friends, family or even partners and the distinctions between someone seeking validation, wanting guidance or just wanting to complain. She leaves you with insight into how to navigate these relationships in the most supportive ways possible for yourself and for them! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Being resistant to growth Being open to growth Trauma-dumping Supportive boundaries Post-traumatic awareness Supportive friendships + relationships Taking advantage of professional support (free + paid)
Extreme Thinking

Extreme Thinking

2023-11-2234:26

Amy discusses the concept of "extreme thinking" and what fuels the behavior pattern. She offers her insights into how this binary way of thinking can show up in mental health social media content and perpetuate victimhood. By the end of the episode, you're left with more knowledge on this topic as well as what you will want to work on improving to step away from thinking in extremes! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Self-protection + self-preservation Binary Thinking / All or Nothing Thinking / Black + White Thinking / Extreme Thinking Self-trust Victim marketing Solutions for extreme thinking If you're enjoying these episodes of Connect the Dots B*tch, take a moment to leave me a 5-star rating on Apple or Spotify!
In this episode, Amy highlights what is hindering you from healing. She emphasizes the tangible steps that MUST happen in order to move from having experienced trauma and emotional pain to processing, releasing and changing your adapted survival and coping strategies. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Emotional healing Trauma healing Tangible action steps needed to heal. How to know if you are hindering your own healing. A self-qualifying list to help you determine if this episode is for you! Identifying too much with your pain. Making excuses for your trauma. Playing the victim. Taking accountability vs. victim blaming Rebuilding self-trust If you're ready to rebuild your foundation after experiencing trauma, abuse, childhood trauma or any type of emotional pain. And ready to heal your people pleasing, fears of abandonment, trust issues + more! Join Amy as she walks you hand-in-hand through all (3) steps of healing (mentioned in episode) and provides you the proven strategy to rebuild your self-trust in her course: Rebuilding Self-Trust . Enrollment ends on 11/22/23 for the year so do not miss your opportunity to take this essential step!
Amy returns after a brief break to dig into why you're attaching to potential in your relationships. What happens when you attach? What's the underlying root problem that keeps you stuck and wanting to fix, save and rescue others? And most importantly, what tangible steps can you take today to begin making changes and breaking this pattern! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Being a FIXER, SAVER/SAVIOR, RESCUER Attaching to potential in relationships Trying to prove + convince others of your worth. Blaming yourself for others not growing + changing. Childhood trauma Control issues Struggles with acceptance + self-respect. Boundaries For more resources on Boundary Setting, learn more about Amy's course here.
Amy discusses why we experience anxiety especially in relationships. She talks about why anxiety is a symptom of 1 of 3 root problems and shares how to take steps to improve all of them. You'll hear about her personal struggles with an Anxiety Disorder in her teens and what helped her most in healing from it. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Anxiety + Anxiety Disorders OCD Relational anxiety Self-trust and struggles with trusting others Coping strategies Nervous system dysregulation Personal stories from Amy about her anxiety struggles + more! If you'd like access to the highly recommended Somatic Program Amy mentions in this episode, use this link: http://collabs.shop/etrgun . If you'd like to learn more about Rebuilding Self-Trust, you can go here: https://amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/rebuilding-self-trust .
Amy is back from her babymoon European adventure and sharing updates about her trip, insights and reflections before she dives into the topics of self-acceptance, self-confidence and self-trust! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Amy's babymoon recap Personal growth reflections + insights from Amy herself Where does confidence come from (*Begins at 34:00 min mark) The practice of self-acceptance How are self-confidence + self-trust related Skills you want to learn while healing from trauma (4) Things Amy learned about herself from her recent trip If you've streamed this episode and are interested in learning more about the upcoming brand new Rebuilding Self-Trust mini-course, place your email on the waitlist to receive information once it launches this month (October 2023) here: https://amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/rebuilding-self-trust
Secure Relationship Secrets

Secure Relationship Secrets

2023-09-1801:06:15

Amy gives you a look inside a secure relationship from the perspective of someone who has experienced trauma from past abusive relationship. She offers you (5) insider tips to help you become aware of and normalize what you can expect to occur within a secure attachment. She also shares solutions on how to navigate conflict and confusion in the most supportive way! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Secure attachments Healthy conflict resolution Emotional management Trauma triggers Boundary Setting Personal stories from Amy Personal life updates from Amy If you're enjoyed this episode or past Connect The Dots B*tch episodes, leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! Be sure to share this episode with your partner, friend or family member who may need this insight as well.
The One About Ghosting

The One About Ghosting

2023-09-1201:10:52

Amy provides you a full rundown of what 'ghosting' is, what people commonly confuse it to be, why people ghost and how to cope with being ghosted! She offers you real-life examples of being ghosting, deconstructs what is happening for the ghost-er and ghost-ee and her expertise on how harmful and abusive this behavior can be. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Ghosting Ghosting while dating Ghosting while in a committed relationship What does NOT constitute ghosting Abandonment fears How to cope with being ghosted Why you feel haunted by having been ghosting and can't move through the pain Practical steps for coping with being ghosted What to work on if you're wanting to ghost
A New Phase of Life

A New Phase of Life

2023-09-0558:41

Amy announces some big changes in her life, answers a few FAQs and shares how she's navigating it all, what she's prioritizing and how she's finding a healthy balance. She offers you key points and takeaways that not only pertain to what she's going through, but how they may connect to you and your life and relationships. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: A big life update from Amy! What needs are always important to prioritize, especially through life changes. Prenatal + childhood trauma Planning for the future Trauma triggers and emotional triggers Acknowledging your personal growth Amy's personal reflections on her own growth, old behavior patterns + how she's learning to be more flexible within these new life experiences!
Amy shares a quick life update about her recent travels and the "adventure" (re: disaster) that occurred on the way back home. She discusses how to approach having an honest conversation with someone, even if that individual is incapable or unwilling. You'll hear her deconstruct why sometimes we are uncomfortable in relationship to others (hint: their behavior may not align with our truth) and provides you clear insight and practical steps in navigating the nuances of difficult relationships! THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: Life update from Amy! Honest, transparent conversations Navigating other people's dysregulated states Setting a boundary with someone who is dismissive. Difficult relationships Staying true to yourself in spite of how others behave Communicating to move through confilct.
Amy breaks down the necessary steps of navigating conflict in a healthy and supportive way. She discusses in depth the challenges many face, the steps most skip and how a history of trauma can impact your willingness and awareness to take these steps. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: The tangible steps to healthy conflict resolution in any type of relationship. Common conflict triggers + trauma triggers. Common struggles for trauma survivors in navigating conflict. What signs indicate your relationship is stuck + conflict cannot be resolved. The importance of repairing after conflict. In this episode, Amy mentions a helpful guide called Identifying Your Trauma Triggers which you can access and download here.
In this episode, Amy answers the question, 'what does healing really look like?' With so much misinformation online, Amy discusses the nuances on the topic of trauma healing. Tune in to hear her debunk myths, identify misconceptions and educate you further on what works, what doesn't, what is clickbait online and what the overall truth is about healing from trauma! THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: Myths, misconceptions + misguided information about trauma healing. Will safe people and environments trigger you? Does being alone (or single) safeguard you from pain? Will you still get triggered after trauma? What will trigger you after trauma? Understanding trauma triggers. Therapy? What works and what doesn't. + much more! If these podcast episodes are educating, entertaining and providing you value, please take a moment to leave Amy a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify! For access to Amy's resources, downloads and on-demand courses, go to amyfiedler.com .
Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose. THIS EPISODE WILL DISCUSS: - Kute's personal journey to becoming an inspirational speaker + transformational teacher. - the importance of self-trust. - choosing your authentic truth over the plan someone else mapped out for you. - difficult conversations (with parents). - how following the nudging of your soul brings freedom! - a balanced + nuanced look at what surrendering is. - choosing to view life as a miracle in spite of hardships. - Kute's book, "The Magic of Surrender" + what you can expect from it! FOLLOW + CONNECT WITH KUTE: Purchase your copy of Kute's book, The Magic of Surrender on Amazon: www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094 Check out how to work with Kute at www.kuteblackson.com Check out Kute's Bali Breakthrough Experience at www.boundlessblissbali.com SOCIAL MEDIA: Facebook: www.facebook.com/kuteblacksonlovenow Instagram: www.instagram.com/kuteblackson Twitter: www.twitter.com/kuteblackson YouTube: www.youtube.com/user/kuteblackson09 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519
Amy discusses the feelings that arise when you feel you always have to be the bigger person and what to do when you start feeling resentment, anger, annoyance with others. She offers real life examples and gives key steps to take to support yourself when you’re constantly growing but others aren’t in your life!
Triangulation

Triangulation

2023-07-1152:37

Amy discusses what triangulation is, how challenging it can be to navigate and real-life examples of how she does it! She deconstructs this form of abuse and manipulation to make it digestible and help you understand how it presents itself in relationships. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - What triangulation can look and sound like. - Real-life examples of experiencing triangulation within a family. - How to navigate and what practical coping methods can you use for triangulation. - Life updates from Amy! - Insecurities - Boundary Setting - Toxic family dynamics Amy's brand-new online course for The Supportive People to Trauma Survivors has now launched and is mentioned in this episode of Connect The Dots B*tch! If you are navigating a challenging relationship with someone who may or may not be aware of their own trauma, this course is for you. If you are a trauma survivor wanting to be more supportive without losing yourself or needing others to behave and communicate in more supportive ways, this course is for you. Use code OGLISTENER for 10% off your purchase today: The Course for the Supportive People to Trauma Survivors | Amy Fiedler (teachable.com)
Amy sits down to discuss how trauma and triggers are created and if it is in fact by other people! She deconstructs how to tell the difference between if your trauma is being triggered or if the person and the behavior is actually harmful to you. THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - how trauma and triggers are created - why we cope by blaming others - healthier ways to cope - how to tell the difference between if it's your trauma being triggered or it's actually harmful behavior. - why we find it easier to blame others - how to stop swinging the pendulum too far one way with binary ways of thinking and coping. - childhood trauma becoming adulthood trauma - the supportive tools you need for your triggers and your coping
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