Journey Within - Burned Out But Not Broken

Feeling stuck and overwhelmed? On this episode I interview Rubi Torres, a women’s empowerment coach.  Rubi tells us about her transformation and how it led her to helping women like herself with their own growth journey. This episode is so powerful. Rubi offers one to one coaching and she also offers a membership, called “Soul Led Mothers”, and a program called “Reawaken The Goddess Within”  . You can find more information about Rubi and her offerings at her website below.  Don’t forget to follow Rubi on your favorite social media platform. www.unbreakablecollective.com @iamrubitorres

Do you have a personal growth plan? You can’t reach your goals…. if you don’t MAKE goals.   Check this episode out for some tips on reaching your goals and finding fulfillment and happiness! Wow! I am so thrilled to be celebrating 4 months of the Journey Within podcast.   Thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you for joining me each week. If you can spare a few minutes and help a girl out, could you please fill out my anonymous survey?  This will help me bring guests and topics to the podcast that you really want to learn more about. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1wqal6yvOwOWHME3oY050xt93gkge1-iT4lll4zrIZOw/edit

Do you have a daily gratitude practice?  Starting a gratitude practice is simple, quick, and the benefits are massive.  A gratitude practice can help you train your brain to look for things to be grateful for. If you don't have a gratitude practice, tune into this episode where I share the benefits of starting one and how healing it can be for anxiety, depression, and burnout.  I will also guide you through several different ways you can start a gratitude practice.  The key: keep it simple, and make sure it works for you. For those of you who already have a gratitude practice, maybe you will learn something new! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within.podcast and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ **Please help a girl out and share this podcast with your friends. Just send them a screenshot and tell them to head over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify to listen. Show Notes: A gratitude practice has been proven to improve overall mental wellbeing. Practicing gratitude slowly changes the way we perceive things by adjusting what we focus on. Some ways to practice gratitude are journaling, for example the 5 minute journal (link below).  Other ways are to practice gratitude are in bed before you start your day, or on the way to work or school and include your children.  Writing a letter to thank someone for impacting your life, and also a gratitude jar are some other creative ways to practice gratitude. Be realistic about your gratitude practice.  Reflect on the obstacles that may get in your way, have a plan B, and always be compassionate towards yourself when you are working towards a new habit. Here is a link to the "5 Minute Journal" that I use and love.  https://www.amazon.com/Five-Minute-Journal-Happier-Minutes/dp/0991846206/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=5+minute+journal&qid=1623867597&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExM0lRR0E3MllWNExPJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMDQwMDUwMVdQUFYwMVFEVk0zNyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjcyNDM2NUhLU0JBOVJXOTZOJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ== Credit for information used in this podcast episode: https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-gratitude/ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain

Why are women so prone to burn out? In this episode I'm going to talk about why the game is rigged for women. Your awareness of how the game is rigged can free you from the trappings of the game.  You owe it to yourself, your daughters, and your nieces to listen to this episode. Shownotes:  The game is rigged, and Patriarchy is the name of the game. Stereotypical gender roles, discrimination, and the glass ceiling are all examples of modern day patriarchy. Human Giver Syndrome tells women that they have to give away every drop of their humanity to keep others happy. It’s whack. Women are often expected to take on more “unpaid labor” in the household. Tracking paid and unpaid labor, and re-dividing labor may be needed if you are feeling burned out and overwhelmed.  If this is a hot topic already, it may be time for marriage counseling to come to an agreeable compromise. Sources:  https://www.benefitnews.com/news/why-female-employees-are-burning-out-at-as-faster-rate-than-men "Burnout" Amelia & Emily Nagoski

Our inner critic is a total bitch.  There’s no sugar coating it.  This episode is about building strong roots of integrity with your true self, and being your own best friend.   Cultural rules are constantly pressing down on us,...wear your hair this way, sacrifice EVERYTHING for your family, stop acting sad and pathetic and put on a happy face….blah blah blah….our inner critic is a mirror of all the places we don’t measure up to the Pinterest perfect, Facebook worthy life. The truth is,... you don’t have to conform to every cultural rule just to be loved and accepted. That’s just the story that you have been carrying around with you since childhood. What areas of your life aren’t honoring your true self? What areas of your life bring you joy that you need to do more of? You are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are, and you always have been. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/

On this episode, I interview Joli Knott, a holistic astrologer, Reiki Master Teacher, and the founder of Bodhi Mindful. Using a variety of techniques, including energy work that incorporates nervous system health as well as education, Joli seeks to provide a nurturing space to those seeking further self-development and self-understanding. Learning to connect the body to the mind, and the physical to the mental and emotional planes, played an important part in Joli's path to becoming a holistic therapist.  Understanding that signals and synchronicities occur regularly on the different planes, and that these can help guide the individual when working with these signals intentionally, make up the core of Joli's work.  Doing so allows a kind of transcendence, an awareness, of when one needs to 're-pot' one's life and upgrade to a bigger container. If you would like to work with Joli, you can find her at: https://www.bodhimindful.com/ She is also on FB: https://www.facebook.com/bodhimindful and on IG: https://www.instagram.com/bodhimindful/ Show notes: Take-Aways Through Reiki, Joli holds a compassionate, nurturing, safe space energetically for her clients, to allow them co-regulate themselves, and unfold Studies show that Reiki can help one strengthen their internal locus of control, which can help soothe someone who struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. Working with a Reiki practitioner may allow you to release and heal anxiety Trauma is not an event, it is the leftover emotions.  It is best to use a guide to unwind the trauma with the support of someone you trust. Listening and tuning into what you need and what feels right are important when choosing a guide and modality. Everyone is unique, and there are many different modalities and tools we can use to heal and grow. Our authentic self is where we tie in the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional plane together.  Keeping all 4 areas of our authentic self in mind, without leaving one out is an important part to your growth journey.  Listen to your body, and address your trauma from multiple angles. We are all healers, and we have the ability to guide others along the paths that we have already been down. A natal chart is a snapshot of the sky at the exact time when you were born and can be used to guide you on your path in life.  An astrologer can help you interpret your natal chart and apply it to your life. Holding space for all of the ranges of emotions, and the seasons of our life is important.  Trying to achieve a Facebook or Instagram worthy life and conforming to social conditioning is a lead contributor to burnout. Tribal consciousness helps guide you when you are young, but there comes a time when you need to individuate, find your own path, and follow it while keeping one foot in the world. It is empowering to become aware of your personal seasons and cycles and honor them.  We can not always be happy, but we can find joy during seasons of sadness.

What is purpose?  How does meaning affect your happiness?  In this episode, we talk about how to find it and why it is so important to your mind and body. It turns out that there is science that shows how important finding meaning is to your health and well being. I know that it worked for me, but I had no idea that there was actual science behind it until I read about it in the book “Burnout” by Amelia and Emily Nagoski. I hope that in some way this speaks to your heart and your spirit and that you listen to your intuition and go after your meaning. Take-aways The opposite of depression is purpose. Cathy Hellar Finding your purpose and feeling a connection with something larger than yourself gives you shelter from the storms that blow through your life, and allows you to thrive when there are blue skies. The way to find your purpose, or meaning is to listen to your inner-voice and pay attention to what makes you feel that you are making a powerful impact. There is no right or wrong way to find your purpose. Human giver syndrome tells you that you don’t have the right to go after your something larger and it is a lie. Make a commitment to engage with your something larger, and to go on your quest to find your purpose or meaning, whatever form it might take

Stress...ugh, every day of our lives we are faced with it.  On this episode I talk about how to handle stressors - the things, people, situations, worries, that trigger a stress response in our bodies.  Having this information can help you prepare for stressors, and get in the right mindset.   I’m also going to give you some strategies for working through stressors and using some planning to help you keep stressors at bay.  These ideas are all from the book Burnout, by twin sisters Amelia and Olivia Nagoski.  Emily is a health educator with a PH.D and Amelia is a choral conductor.  They co-wrote this book after Emily helped Amelia through several stress induced illnesses that resulted in hospital trips. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ Show Notes: Take-aways: The Ideas in this podcast were taken from the book Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.  Make sure you order the book or download it on Audible. It is amazing! Make sure to include completing the stress cycle (see previous episode titled “Beating Burnout”) in your daily schedule We all have a mechanism, referred to as the “monitor” which has a very strong opinion about how much effort we should put in for a certain amount of progress.  Our monitor can set off our stress response if it is feeling frustrated with a lack of progress or difficulty of achieving a goal.  "Understanding how to manage your monitor can empower you to influence your own brain’s functioning, with strategies for dealing with both the controllable and uncontrollable stressors” One strategy for managing controllable stressors is planful problem solving to analyze a stressor, brainstorm and research a solution and design a strategy for managing the stressor. Positive reappraisal works well with uncontrollable stressors- it is acknowledging that the effort, discomfort, frustration, unanticipated obstacles, and even the repeated failure has value because it is worth it, because it is getting you closer to your goal.  Try to reframe difficulties as opportunities for growth and learning. Re-defining winning is a strategy to use when you are facing an extremely difficult goal to achieve.  Decide on incremental goals or another out of the box, or substitute “win”.

On this episode I chat with Stephanie Rose of Firefly Scout.  Stephanie talks to us about our glow - the light and high vibe energy that is inside us all, and how we can nurture and grow our glow every day, even in our hectic, busy lives.  Tune if for this great conversation and learn how to grow your glow. Take Aways After having kids, some mom’s struggle with their new identity.  It’s important to take time to get to know yourself again and take a journey of self discovery to redefine who you are, as a mom, and who are apart from being a mom. Stephanie says your glow is a lightness or your high vibe energy.   It comes from your heart and you can find it by getting in touch with yourself and figuring out what brings you joy. As givers, women can be more abundant and give to those around them if they are giving from a full cup, rather than an empty cup. Make a list of all the unique things that give you joy and make you smile, no matter how small or big.  Categorize your “joy list” based on approximately how long they take, and use it to squeeze in moments of joy into your life. Cut out things in your life that steal your joy, make you feel jealous, or not-enough. Feeling that you have no time for things that bring you joy is an illusion.  You can carve out 10 minutes, either before bed, or when you wake.  Just think, you have 10 minutes to scroll social media,...you just have to choose to intentionally use your time for things that bring you joy. Journaling helps you dump all the thoughts and emotions you carry around so that you can clear your mind.  Walking, exercise, visualization, and being in nature are other ways you can clear your mind and get out of your “nipping” thoughts. Mindset is like a color of glasses you put on.  You can frame what you see in a positive light, and it's a choice in the beginning, but can become a habit. You are not broken, you just need to heal. You don’t need to fix yourself, you just need to scout out who you are and find your glow. Where you can find Stephanie Rose, Firefly Scout: www.fireflyscout.com Instagram: @fireflyscout

I beat my anxiety and I can't wait to share how I did it!   Hey friend!  Thanks so much for listening and visiting the podcast show notes! :) Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ Stay tuned for information on my course.  Follow me on instagram for updates! On this episode, I share my personal story about what triggered me, and how I struggled through it to get to a place of peace, calm, and clarity. It’s time to take your power back and stop suffering from overwhelm and anxiety.  You deserve to feel good every day and not wake up dreading the hectic day to come. I want to set the record straight...self-care is NOT pampering.  Self-care is a loaded word that some people may relate to luxury or a spa day.  Self-care actually means.....taking care of yourself,...I know, kinda obvious. ;) Self-care means taking care of your physical needs, like exercising, and your mental needs, whatever you find works for you. For some, mental self-care could mean meditating or praying, for others that could mean journaling, listening to self-growth podcasts, reading, or getting a massage once a week.  Everyone's needs are unique and you have to experiment to find what keeps you healthy. How do we beat anxiety? STOP ignoring your physical and mental health needs.   It’s all about trust, and not the trust in other people in your life.  It’s actually all about the trust in yourself.  When you create a self-care plan (A.K.A. - mental and physical health plan) and you commit to it, you can rely on it when you need it most - when you are emotional and dealing with anxiety and negative thoughts and worries.  It’s actually these times when we need our self-care plan the most!  But what happens when we feel anxiety or overwhelm?  We ditch our self-care because we just don’t have time for it.  We all know what happens then,...our anxiety and emotional unrest builds.   Check out this episode and hear all the details. I’m sending you love and light for a beautiful and peaceful day.

Have you ever heard of the Enneagram? If you are on a self-growth journey, this is the right episode for you.  Do you want to understand yourself and your partner more deeply to improve your relationship?  Maybe even your kids, friends, mom, or co-workers? The enneagram has helped me understand and empathize with all the people in my life in a way that I never did before.  In this episode I interview Tami Imlay. Tami breaks down the Enneagram and explains in great detail how we can use it to improve our relationships with others, and ourselves.  Reach out to Tami (contact info at the bottom of these show notes) with your questions about the Enneagram or if you are seeking the guidance of a life coach. Take-aways: Enneagram is a unique personality assessment that gives you incredible insight into why you do the things you do and why you fall into the same traps day after day.  For anyone on a self growth journey, or for curiosity’s sake, you need to do the Enneagram personality test. The Enneagram explains that the lens you see the world through is unique (based on your type).  Your fears are what drive you, that give you the “lens”.  Understanding how your fears and instincts “take over” can give you space between a stimulus and a response and help you decide consciously how you will respond with an awareness of how your fears and instincts can push you toward a pattern that is not healthy. In personal and professional relationships, understanding others’ personalities can give you empathy, love and understanding of those people and their struggles. Tips to get accurate typing: Do the test in one sitting, from the perspective of your 20’s.  You will be one of the top 3 types that comes up.  You need to read through the information about the top 3 types that come up to decide which one you are.  It’s best to work with a coach, like Tami, for the most accurate results and to implement positive changes in your life. Learning about your personality type’s healthy path, stress path and blindspots can help monitor whether you are in a state of balance or whether you are becoming unhealthy.  Journaling and reflecting with your new knowledge can help you track your progress. There is no bad personality number.  It's important to appreciate the uniqueness of each type and try to see the value and strengths of individuals through your understanding of their enneagram type.  What makes you different and unique, is also your strength. Where to Do Your Test: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/   or  https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/ Book Recommendations: The Road Back to You (to learn more about your Enneagram type) Atomic Habits by James Clear Where you can find Tami Imlay: https://www.tamimariecoaching.com/ @tamimariecoaching Her Restored Spirit Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/her-restored-spirit-restoration-living-purpose-joy/id1548169723

Hey friend!  Thanks so much for listening and visiting the podcast show notes! :) Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ Stay tuned for information on my mini-course on stress.  Follow me on instagram for updates! Did you know that emotions and stress live in your body...physically?  That’s right, the emotions and stress you feel when you get overwhelmed when you are running late to work and someone blasts their horn at you,...that triggers a neurochemical response in your body that can be toxic to all the other vital systems in your body if it hangs out too long, like your cardiovascular system and your immune system. It also leads to burnout and emotional exhaustion.  So how do we get rid of all the stress juice pumping through our body every day so that we can feel better physically and protect our bodies?   Don’t they just leave on their own? Actually, no they don’t.  Our bodies stay in chronic activation unless we complete the cycle.   This episode will help you figure out how to complete the stress cycle in your hectic schedule. Take Aways: The Ideas in this podcast were taken from the book "Burnout" by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nogoski.  Make sure you order this book or download it on Audible. It is amazing! Women try to be everything and do everything that the world demands of us, and the problem isn’t that we don’t know how to practice self-care, it’s that it’s not realistic to meet our wellness goals unless we have a nanny, Oprah’s phone number, and lots of time and money In Human Giver Syndrome, Philosopher Kate Mann describes the giver as someone who isn’t allowed to inconvenience anyone with anything so messy as emotions, so givers are trapped in a situation where they are not free to move through the tunnel.  The syndrom insists that self-preservation is selfish. Emotions will end on their own, they are tunnels, and if you go all the way through them, you get to the light at the end. Emotional exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion. Stressors are things that can be thought of as threats and they trigger a stress response, a cascade of neurological and hormonal activities that initiate physiological changes to help you survive - that “fight or flight” response but deprioritize your other vital body systems. We have to do something physical with our body to send the message that we are safe, and that we can downgrade our body's stress response.  We have to call off the troops, it’s ok to send those stress hormones home, and clear them out of your body.  This is called completing the cycle. The best way to complete the cycle is with 20-60 minutes of exercise that gets you breathing deeply Some alternative ways to complete the cycle are: breathing exercises, positive social interactions, laughter, affection from humans or pets, crying, and creative expression - such as music, dancing, painting, etc

Have you lost someone you love? Recently, or not, it never stops hurting because you never stop loving your lost loved one.  In this podcast episode, Beth Goshow, of Daughters Without Moms, shares her insight about grief.  Beth has experienced a lot of loss in her life, and she has some wisdom to share about how to move through grief with self compassion.   Take-Aways Time does not heal all wounds.  Losing a loved one leaves a big scar that you will have the rest of your life. There is no one-size fits all way to work through grief. Everyone’s grief journey is different, and people go through the 6 stages at different times and in different sequences. A good first step to processing your grief, is to be kind to yourself and listen to your needs rather than pushing them aside. Working moms have an extremely challenging time prioritizing their needs because of all of the demands placed on them.  It’s crucial to their healing that they take care of themselves and make space for their grief journey. There is no way to get around grief.  Ignoring your grief and not dealing with what is going on, can be toxic.  By doing this, it remains a secret, and the longer you don’t deal with it, the harder it becomes. Having a safe place to share what you are experiencing is important. Identify your support network, the people in your life that you trust, and who love you and care about you. Reach out to them and share with them what you are going through. They want to help and you are not a burden. Joining a grief support group, can help you make connections and talk about what you are going through with people who can relate to you.   See the show notes for the link to the Daughters without moms facebook group.  It’s for anyone who has experienced loss, not just daughters without moms. Culturally, we have done a poor job of giving people the space they need to decipher their own grief.  The bereaved feel obligated to put on a happy face because their grief makes others feel awkward or uncomfortable. One way you can support someone who is grieving is by giving them a safe space where they can show their emotions, talk about their experience, and share memories and stories about their lost loved one.  It’s important to not make them feel ashamed or embarrassed when they open up because this will add more pain to their grief.  Just listen, and encourage them to openly talk without trying to fix or rationalize their loss with platitudes. People lost a lot of things in 2020 - not just their loved ones.  They lost their jobs, their homes, their senior year, their college graduations and their dream weddings.  We need to stop comparing our loss to other people’s loss.  Make space and allow yourself to process your feelings so that you can heal.  Beth's Book recommendation : Emotional Agility by Susan David   www.yourgriefjourney.com Instagram @daughterswithoutmoms Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/daughterswithoutmoms Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/daughters-without-moms/id1538554333

Hello!  Thanks so much for listening and visiting the podcast show notes! :) Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ In this episode I talk about how you can get to a place where you are not just coping and grappling with the challenges of everyday life, but thriving. This episode is all about how to start healing the limiting beliefs that you have accepted as truth. Breaking out of my own limiting beliefs is what helped me course correct - I was STUCK thinking that being a teacher was the only career I could do, and thought that I was lucky to have a career at all.  Teaching was safe and a reliable source of income for my family, and rocking the boat I could end up out on the street begging ??? or in some terrible career with a terrible boss who expected me to do terrible things for their terrible company. Takeaways: Living life fully means getting unstuck and bravely going after our dreams even though it is scary. Our limiting beliefs are our fears that hold us back from taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zone and they are part of our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind stores all of the beliefs that we have been learning back from infancy, and it doesn’t know the difference between what’s true and what’s not true, example: monsters under the bed, don’t trust strangers, don’t touch a hot stove . Our conscious mind is the problem solver that helps us find the car keys, analyzes, criticizes, constantly spinning around and around and keeps us up at night. Our conscious mind is the decision maker and it is unaware that it's controlled by our subconscious mind (beliefs and fears acquired since infancy) Homework: Journal about your dreams and limiting beliefs.  Create a Pinterest board to collect your ideas and dreams and find some inspiration. Book recommendation: You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

Hello!  Thanks so much for listening and visiting the podcast show notes! :) Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast... Follow me on Instagram @journey.within1 and Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/journeywithinthrivingnotsurviving/ In this episode I interview Cindy Bedi Ralph, a mindfulness coach and guide of Sacred Pause:  @sacred.pause on Instagram.   *Make sure to go back later when you have time and join in the guided meditation when you can set aside time and find a quiet space. In 2009, Cindy’s 3 year old daughter had a serious medical emergency that shook her family.  The trauma from this event pushed Cindy into a cycle of replaying her painful experience.  She realized one day, while her daughters were playing that she didn’t want to replay the stories of her trauma any longer.  She wanted to be able get on the floor and play with her daughters.  Her trauma had caused her to close her heart to avoid the pain of sadness and anxiety, but she realized that by doing that she had closed her heart to feeling joy and excitement of life. She started learning about mindfulness, it helped her heal, and she then formally began taking courses and now teaches and coaches mindfulness to others. Here are the takeaways from this episode: Closing your heart is natural and protective when you have gone through something traumatic  When your heart is ready to open, and the time is right, you will know.  It cannot be rushed, and only you know when you are ready. Striving for self-love and self-awareness are the first two goals Cindy recommends, without judgement and with empathy and compassion towards yourself Reactions are natural and practiced, we are rewiring our brain when we practice mindfulness Meditation can bring self-awareness of your thoughts and patterns that we get sucked into Mindfulness helps create a space between a stimulus and your minds reaction or response The space gets wider and wider as we practice When you feel like you don’t have time to meditate, or practice mindfulness, your probably need double the amount of time you set out to practice Mindfulness can be practiced formally through meditation. Mindfulness can be practiced informally all throughout your day. An informal mindful moment could be one in which you focus on what you are doing in that moment (ex.washing the dishes, paying attention to your senses, warmth of the water, the visual of the bubbles, texture of the sponge) and practicing staying present, not getting swept away by thoughts. Cindy starts her day with gratitude.  When she wakes before she even opens her eyes, she says thank you thank you thank you… Cindy’s book recommendation “A return to love” Marianne Williamson Cindy talks about how our journey’s are all unique.  We can plant the seeds of mindfulness through our own changes and raise our vibration, demonstrate self love, and how we respond differently and lead through those examples, but whether the seeds grow or not is not up to us. Make sure to head over to Cindy’s instagram page @sacred.pause for daily mindfulness guidance and check out her virtual group mindfulness sessions which she currently offers on Sundays and Thursday. Have a beautiful day and remember to stay present and show yourself some non-judgemental self-love today.