Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

Great movies take their place in history, but what about all the "turkeys" and disastrous flops littering the vast cinematic cesspool? If you really love movies, then what does it matter if a particular film won eight Oscars or eight Razzies? Sometimes over-the-top hammy acting, laughably choreographed fight sequences and rubber monster FX outdo even the most lavish productions in the Academy Awards echelon. So, whether it's an unsurpassed masterpiece or a piece of something else, every movie I talk about in this podcast is near and dear to my heart. Some you will know well, some you'd be well off never knowing at all, at least until hearing just how enjoyably awful they are, so plug in those earbuds or don your expensive blingy Beats, and let's take a trip to the movies! (Popcorn optional)

Season 10 Episode 5: Krull (revisited, with Special Guest!)

Nobody remembers Krull. Nobody's seen Krull, most likely. What the hell IS Krull, anyway?? Well, it's an extremely underrated 1983 fantasy film that I've always loved to watch again and again, I suppose to make up for all the people who didn't bother to. But you should! It's got a telepathy-controlled throwing star! How many ninjas can say that? It's got Liam Neeson in a role he probably wishes he hadn't...taken. It's got Slayers!!&...

10-29
58:22

Season 10 Episode 4: Alien: Romulus

While many moviegoers stopped caring about Aliens after the second Alien movie (Aliens! Duh!), this franchise has survived for over 4 decades with an impressive array of directors trying to terrify, thrill, and gross us out. Seems there's more than one way to open an egg. When the master himself, Sir Ridley Scott, returned to the Alien universe with 2 movies intended as a trilogy prequel to the original Alien, the fans spewed acid all over them and probably scared Ridley back to m...

09-24
50:04

Season 10 Episode 3: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Most would say that after Terminator 2: Judgment Day, we really didn't need any more of these movies. The future already happened, got prevented, hopefully ever after, right? James Cameron was done with this franchise and Arnold Schwarzenegger was ready to take on his new political role of "The Governator". But first, this. One more cybernetic romp with a new bad gal robot trying to snuff out John Connor before he could grow up to be a future rebel leader. We get...

09-01
32:43

Season 10 Episode 2: Dune Part Two

Someone's making a racket on Arrakis! That'd be me, along with my faithful friend Dave Chan, playing in the audio sandbox once again to bring you a fun-filled podcast about the latest (and possibly longest) Dune movie. It won't be the last, either. That's a lot of sand to stare at, but luckily this time around we have awesome characters that weren't in Part One, including Feyd (so there'll be a killer knife fight and just maybe a Police song. Or an Elvis one, at least)...

07-31
30:34

Season 10 Episode 1: Scarface

If I were on a game show and the category was "Top 10 Things That Are Cuban", my first thought wouldn't be cigars, Desi Arnaz, or that missile crisis. It would be Tony Montana, OK?? One of cinema's most iconic criminals, played by Al Pacino in 1983's Scarface, this guy spews F-bombs and bullets like crazy, man. 10 years later, Pacino would win an Oscar for Scent of a Woman, where the naughtiest word he said (repeatedly) was "hoo-ha!". But nobody remembers that characte...

07-22
51:31

Season 9 Episode 10: X-Men

Nearly a decade before the MCU, and a decade after MC Hammer, Marvel's X-Men stormed onto cinema screens! (See what I did there?) Way cooler than "Super Friends" (or Justice League, if you insist), these mutants had crazy powers and were not all just made up to fight crime and save people. Some of them were bad! They'd fight each other! They all came from Earth, not Krypton or some cave! They had one of the coolest badass characters in any comic book: Wolverine!&...

06-21
01:16:08

Season 9 Episode 9: Solo: A Star Wars Story

By now we've gotten to see all our favorite "classic" Star Wars heroes return to the saga after a decades-long wait, and then they all got snuffed out. Except for Lando, of course...the least "heroic" out of them all...he gets to live! You remember he double-crossed the REAL heroes and was eyeing Princess Leia from the get-go. Grrrrr...it's enough to make you wanna pull someone's arms out of their sockets (like the screenwriters?) but here we have a stand-alone movie about t...

04-26
46:18

Season 9 Episode 8: Heat

In 1995, moviegoers and Godfather geeks were lining up to see Al Pacino and Robert De Niro share the screen for the first time ever in the crime epic Heat. They might not have realized that in the 3 hour running time, they're together for maybe 3 minutes! But OMG... those 3 minutes were riveting! Even the other 2 hours and 57 minutes of it were pretty intense. Crazy shootouts, double-crosses and heists, dysfunctional relationships, and a hopped-up live wire Al Pacino...

03-22
50:48

Season 9 Episode 7: Species

When a stunningly gorgeous woman wants to have sex with you, for FREE, the hour you meet her, that should raise a red flag. Especially if she's really an H.R. Giger-designed alien creature masquerading as Natasha Henstridge. Hey, it happens. This 1995 movie delivers the blood and boobs (human and extraterrestrial, to be precise) and boasts a pretty impressive cast with a thankless assignment chasing this babe all over L.A. trying to stop her from getting pregnant and s...

03-02
41:57

Season 9 Episode 6: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (with Special Guest!)

You might be shocked that I'm actually covering a "new" movie on this podcast, since I'm usually going back to the 80s for my topics, but this one does have an "old" lead character and actor who's actually IN his 80s!  Harrison Ford, my all-time favorite star of the screen, returns one last time to play Indiana Jones, and the most nail-biting, cliff-hanging feeling about it is: will it suck as badly as Crystal Skull?  Here to share some insights, stories and personal connections to Harrison Ford is my very special guest Lisa Blake-Mitchell!  (Oh, sorry...were you expecting Ke Huy Quan or something?)  You won't need a map or worthless bronze medallion to find the treasures that await you in this audio adventure.  Let's talk Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny!  Nobody's ever rocked a whip with more panache.  Well, except maybe Devo.  

02-03
01:00:21

Season 9 Episode 5: Dreamcatcher

How can the guy who wrote The Empire Strikes Back go on to direct this unmitigated disaster of a cinematic abortion??  I'm still in denial.  Blame it on drugs, maybe?  The drugs that Stephen King was on while recovering from multiple surgeries after being hit by a distracted motorist while he was out for a walk.  The novel he eventually churned out, Dreamcatcher, should have credited Oxycontin as co-author.  It was sort of kooky, but in a King style.  The movie version, courtesy of Lawrence Kasdan, is a whole different kind of horrible.  Sitting through it is only marginally preferable to being eaten by a Wampa.  Dreamcatcher is such a nightmare even Freddy Krueger can't stand it.  But please....by all means, give it a look!  Listen to my podcast as I lavish everything but praise upon it.  It's almost too bad to resist.  

12-25
44:12

Season 9 Episode 4: Rogue One

In-between The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, we Star Wars fans were given a cinematic "snack" in 2016 in the form of Rogue One, the first stand-alone/non-episode Roman numeral movie set in that galaxy far, far away.  You could call it a "solo" movie, but that's actually something else that came along a couple years later!  This one here deals with a bunch of characters you've never heard of before who managed to acquire and steal those plans for the Death Star, even though they never got any credit for it.  Until NOW!  There might not be too many familiar faces here, but the good news is there's no Jar Jar Binks and not a single Ewok anywhere to be found!  This actually turned out to be a pretty excellent film, praised by most of the fans and fairly immune to the typical haters out there.  It makes an excellent prelude to A New Hope, and features a brief but thrilling appearance by Darth Vader.  Almost as thrilling: my special guest on the podcast is none other than Ed Marcus, who can bullseye a womp rat with his T16 (I've seen him do it) so he's qualified to share the cockpit on this hyperspace debate!  Join the rebellion and listen now!  Don't make me Force ya.  

12-06
40:53

Season 9 Episode 3: The Rock

Another blockbuster action flick from Michael Bay, and probably his most excellent movie!  A disgruntled General and some Marines hold a bunch of tourists hostage on Alcatraz island (conveniently, the place is full of rusty but working jail cells!) and it's up to "chemical superfreak" Nicolas Cage and former "British Sheecret Shervish" agent Sean Connery to bust them loose and stop Ed Harris and his brigade from launching these deadly green balls of toxic chemical gas at the innocent citizens of San Francisco!  Those poor people have it bad enough having to go up and down 45-degree angle tilted streets every day, don't they?  We've got car chases, demolition, hand-to-hand combat, lots of things blowing up, and even some excellent performances (I was gonna say "acting", but you know...Cage is doing his over-the-top Cagey stuff...not sure if there's an Oscar category for Best Batshit Rant from a Lead Actor...).  Plain and simple, action and entertainment up the wazoo!  Welcome to The Rock!  You're in, mate!  

11-02
37:07

Season 9 Episode 2: The Dead Zone

If I ever got to meet Christopher Walken, I'd certainly tell him how much I love his films and erratic speech patterns.  But, I'd be a little hesitant to shake his hand...'cause what if there was a sudden JOLT and he saw some terrifying future for me?  Or envisioned a total breakdown of civilization all because of my stupid Missing Real podcast?  I'm overreaching here, of course...we really just wanna focus on this fantastic David Cronenberg/Stephen King classic, The Dead Zone.  Walken plays the boringly named John Smith, who can see the future or past secrets of people just by taking their hand.  He's got a POW-wuh.  But will it be a curse?  Also in the movie is a live-wire Martin Sheen, as a political candidate you definitely do NOT want in the West Wing.  Also in this podcast is my good buddy Dave Chan.  And a couple of cats you won't hear much from.  Actual CATS, not jazz musicians.  But when you're talkin' like Walken, everything is improvised!    

10-13
01:05:22

Season 9 Episode 1: A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Considering this movie came out in 2001 (and was originally going to be made by the director of 2001!), the concept of Artificial Intelligence is now about as common as coffee in our everyday lives.  Real intelligence, on the other hand, is still more of a science fiction fantasy than ever, and you won't find much of it in this podcast but don't let that stop you!  This is a somewhat disjointed film, kind of what you'd expect when you try to mix Kubrick and Spielberg, but it's a dazzling and emotional odyssey (not a space one!) which I've got a lot to say about.  A robot boy who wants to be "real" and be loved goes on a lonely adventure, with plenty of mushy drama courtesy of Spielberg.  Hey, if Kubrick made it the kid would probably just talk to his finger and write "Redrum" on the wall.  Join me for a podcastic voyage!  It's better than going to the Flesh Fair!  Trust me, that's not as thrilling as it sounds.

09-10
47:02

Season 8 Episode 10: Armageddon

Pop quiz: a giant asteroid is hurtling towards Earth and will spell certain doom when it hits! Ignoring the fact that asteroids can't spell, name that movie! Um, is this multiple choice? Kind of...ya see, there were two movies out in 1998 about this imminent threat from some distant space quarry, but I'm going with the bigger, badder, dumber one: Armageddon! Directed (can you call it that?) by Michael Bay! Action and adrenaline aplenty here, along with a hit soun...

04-20
53:37

Season 8 Episode 10: Armageddon

Pop quiz: a giant asteroid is hurtling towards Earth and will spell certain doom when it hits!  Ignoring the fact that asteroids can't spell, name that movie!  Um, is this multiple choice?  Kind of...ya see, there were two movies out in 1998 about this imminent threat from some distant space quarry, but I'm going with the bigger, badder, dumber one: Armageddon!  Directed (can you call it that?) by Michael Bay!  Action and adrenaline aplenty here, along with a hit soundtrack album that I dare say is even better than Dirty Dancing!  But, never mind the music...who's gonna save the Earth?!?  Destroying this asteroid will take a lot more than just dropping some quarters at the old video arcade!  It takes Bruce Willis!  Yippee-ki-yay, Meteor Fragment!  (sorry...I had to)  Now, while there's still time...listen to this podcast!  It ROCKS!  

08-27
53:37

Season 8 Episode 9: The Mist

The third major theatrical Stephen King adaption by Frank Darabont (who did pretty well with Shawshank and Green Mile) doesn't take place in a prison, but it's still about a bunch of people who are trapped and any attempt to escape could be fatal!  A strange mist rolls into town, and lurking within it are all sorts of icky monsters!  Ordinary folks hiding in a supermarket can't deal with the horror (or each other) for very long and soon many of them are on their way to express check-out!  King's short story was really scary, despite its piss-poor ending.  Darabont fixes that here, and drops a whopper of a conclusion on us.  Any first-time viewers are in for a shock, so if you "mist" this movie, watch it now!  And by the way, it's not the same as The Fog.  That's harder to see through.  But awesome to watch!  

07-23
33:31

Season 8 Episode 8: Unforgiven (with Special Guest!)

Contrary to legend, this movie is not about Metallica.  And the Metallica song is not about this movie, unless they stole the script, 'cuz the song came out first!  Now don't you believe all that horse pucky.  This here's a darn good western.  Take it from me, even if all I really know about westerns is they got Sam Elliott or Clint Eastwood in 'em.  Oh, and lotsa guns, horses and whores.  It must be a winning formula, as there are hundreds of movies in the genre.  I haven't got time for all that, so let's just pick a really famous one and talk about it with my sidekick Dave Chan.  It's one of his favorites, and quite appropriate because after all the junk I've dragged him into discussing on the podcast I'm the one who should be Unforgiven.  Saddle up, buckaroos!  Don't forget the moonshine.  You'll need it! 

06-29
56:59

Season 8 Episode 7: Avatar: The Way of Water (with Special Guest!)

James Cameron has spent so many years making movies underwater it's shocking that he hasn't grown gills by now.  This long-awaited sequel to his blockbuster Avatar (over a decade, so it better be good!) finally surfaced in 2022.  Can't really say it's better than the original, but it's definitely "wetter"!  We have those big blue digital cat people living in their psychedelic jungle for a while, and then they migrate to these nifty coastal villages and make friends with whales and stuff.  There's enough crazy creatures under the sea to give Jacques Cousteau a boner.  If he wasn't dead.  If you even know who the heck Jacques Cousteau was.  Doesn't matter.  But, you will definitely learn a whole lotta science stuff, marine biology and human evolution from my highly intelligent guest, David Franklin.  I'll make some jokes, he'll make some sense, and at some point we might even mention the Avatar movie.  Ready to take a deep dive?  

06-01
52:27

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