The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

☁️ Grab your The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for  Relationship Anxiety https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/worryfree   Have you ever dated someone who felt close one moment and distant the next? Or maybe you’ve wondered if your partner is emotionally unavailable, avoidant attached, or simply not interested at all. 🖤 This episode untangles one of the most confusing parts of modern dating and relationships: the difference between emotionally unavailable men, dismissive avoidant partners, and those who are just not into you. Inside, you’ll hear: What “emotionally unavailable” actually means (and why even secure men or husbands can go through it). The difference between a partner who’s avoidant attached vs. someone temporarily checked out. How emotionally distant partners show up in dating, relationships, and marriage. The one question to ask yourself when you feel stuck over their mixed signals. This episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I break it all down so you’ll finally know whether your partner’s distance is a passing phase, an avoidant attachment wound, or a sign they don’t want a deeper commitment. If you’ve been replaying texts, questioning your worth, or wondering why your emotionally unavailable boyfriend or husband won’t open up…this episode is for you…   FREE ATTACHMENT:    Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Find your TOP 2 Relationship Needs 💁🤌🏻 to STOP sabotage (free Quiz) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   🕵🏻‍♀️ Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/challenge     ➞ SHOP + MORE FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop       CHAPTER: 00:00 Understanding Emotional Availability 01:33 What does “emotionally unavailable” actually mean 02:22 SECURE but Emotionally Unavailable 04:34 Emotionally Unavailable (general, not always avoidant) 05:55 Avoidant Attachment (dismissive avoidant) 10:52 The Reddit Take 13:12 The “Just Not That Into You” piece 14:49 Final breakdown 18:17 In short ASK yourself THIS     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough? If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized so you can finally understand why you feel the way you do in love.  This isn’t about labels or “fixing yourself.” It’s about awareness, clarity, and seeing your patterns with curiosity. ✨   I’ll walk you through: ▶️ A 10-question quiz to see your attachment style ▶️ Real-life examples of each style in dating & relationships ▶️ The difference between anxious and disorganized attachment ▶️ How to start creating security from within—without needing your partner to “fix” anything   Bonus: I share my personal story of realizing why I overthink, panic, and crave reassurance, and how that awareness changed everything in my relationships. Grab your notes app 📝 or a piece of paper, and let’s get clarity on your love patterns—so you can start feeling safe, confident, and seen in love.   This quiz is your roadmap to understanding yourself, your nervous system, and your patterns in love. 🎧 Listen now and start seeing your relationships in a whole new way.   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles 02:39 Free Attachment Style Quiz 04:07 Question 01 04:35 Question 02 05:01 Question 03 05:20 Question 04 05:54 Question 05 06:33 Question 06 07:14 Question 07 07:34 Question 08 08:07 The Quiz Result 09:30 Secure Attachment 10:24 Anxious Attachment 12:24 Avoidant Attachment 14:00 Disorganized Attachment 15:56 What's the Difference between Anxious + Disorganised Attachment Style 17:06 The TAKEAWAY 18:27 Coaching and Support Options 19:06 BIG attachment theory LIE

Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them. ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown  (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships    Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re diving deep into Rory’s world—her relationships, dating patterns, and why she’s attracted to certain types of people like Dean, Jess, Logan, and even Tristan.   If you haven’t watched part one yet, I recommend starting there to understand the foundation of the characters’ attachment styles, including Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, Emily, and Richard   In this episode, we explore: ✨ Rory’s anxious attachment style with disorganized edges ✨ How her upbringing shaped her relationship patterns ✨ Why she chases unavailable partners and idolizes her boyfriends ✨ The push-and-pull dynamic with Dean, Jess, Logan, and Tristan ✨ How her self-worth ties to achievement, school, and love ✨ The patterns that make her relationships challenging ✨ My #1 tip for Rory (and anyone with anxious tendencies) to finally feel secure in love   We also break down: 💛 Dean – anxious attachment, craving closeness but over-investing emotionally 💚 Jess – disorganized tendencies, rebellious and protective, struggles with vulnerability 💙 Tristan – classic avoidant, keeps emotional distance, immature and testing Rory 💜 Logan – avoidant with some disorganized traits, charming but emotionally inconsistent   If you’re anxious in love like Rory, the real shift happens when you build security within yourself first.   When you stop chasing emotional red flags, you attract reliable, loving partners and create healthier dynamics in all areas of your life.     🎯 Free Resources & Quiz:  : https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   💌 Ways to work with me 1:1 + Offers: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach     Free Stop overthinking Mini-Mini Course: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/miniseriestostopoverthinking     📌 Don’t forget to comment below: Who’s your favorite Rory boyfriend? And do you relate to Rory’s anxious tendencies in love?   Thanks for watching and doing the work with me! Happy autumn and remember, change in your relationships starts with you—thought by thought, action by action.       Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro to Gilmore Girls Attachments Styles 01:28 Rory's Attachment Style 11:46 Dean's Attachment Style 20:30 Jess Mariano's Attachment Style 25:24 Tristan's Attachment Style 30:56 Logan Huntzberger's Attachment Style 36:49 My BIGGEST relationship Advice for RORY   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory. You’ll hear: ★ Why Lorelai shows so many signs of disorganized attachment (fearful avoidant). ★ Why Luke might not be fully avoidant after all… and how he leans more secure than you think. ★ How Christopher’s push–pull patterns mirror a fearful avoidant style. ★ And Emily’s anxious tendencies (with disorganized edges and even some narcissistic flavors). If you’ve ever struggled with relationship anxiety, abandonment fears, or wondered why do I pull close, then push away?… you’ll see yourself in these characters.  Grab a coffee, get cozy, and let’s watch Gilmore Girls with completely new eyes.    Don’t forget to subscribe if you love relationship deep dives, attachment theory explained simply, and cozy podcast chats.       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Exploring Attachment Styles in Gilmore Girls 00:59 What is Attachment theory (in short) 03:00 Lorelai's Attachment Style 09:17 Luke's Attachment Style 16:01 Christopher's Attachment Style (Rory's father) 22:25 Emily's Gilmore's Attachment Style 28:52 IS Lorelai a NARCISSIST? 32:37 Richard's Attachment Style 36:32 Who do you want to see NEXT?

my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number: The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows. Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT? The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in fear, shame, and confusion. That’s the part that hit me hardest .. and that’s where my work as a relationship coach comes in. In this episode, I talk about the red flags most people miss, how parental manipulation destroys self-trust, and why trauma bonding makes it so hard to leave abusive dynamics. I also share what actually helps: nervous system regulation, boundaries that protect your safety, and rebuilding secure attachment step by step. If you’ve seen the Unknown Number Netflix trailer, read The Cut article on Kendra Licari, or scrolled through the heated debates online — this episode is for you. Because it’s not just about a documentary. It’s about real people, real trauma, and the reminder that healing and safety ARE possible. Takeaways: What Netflix didn’t show about the Unknown Number documentary. The deeper emotional impact of grooming and manipulation. How disorganized attachment keeps people stuck in toxic cycles. Why trauma bonding makes breaking away so complicated. The role of parental control, secrecy, and narcissistic behaviors. The importance of spotting red flags early. How daily regulation practices + professional support accelerate healing. Why boundaries are the foundation of safety and recovery. Why love doesn’t have to feel like chaos. WORK WITH ME, COURSES + FREE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   3 MIN QUIZ DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free): https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow   It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰    Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking, “Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”   That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection. In this episode, I unpack why this “eight-second trap” fuels anxiety, overthinking, and the addictive chase cycle. I share why your emotional safety doesn’t depend on anyone else, how to stop texting obsessively, and the step-by-step tools I use (and teach clients) to calm your brain and feel secure on your own.   We talk real examples: heart racing when they’re “typing,” overanalyzing likes, messages, and stories, and feeling too much in love or friendship. I also share practical actions—from journaling out your thoughts, setting boundaries for yourself, spotting patterns without personalizing, and walking away from crumbs—to reclaim your peace and confidence. If you’ve ever felt anxious waiting for a text, overanalyzed replies, or let someone else control your emotions, this episode is your guide to healing your anxious attachment, trusting yourself, and stopping the chase.   ON SALE (27 euros only) Stop obsessing over Text in 21 days or less - Course: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     CHAPTERS: 00:00 The Eight Second Dilemma 03:12 Why its makes sense to want them to reply quickly (but it's wrong) 05:45 The Viral "if he wanted to he would" video 08:03 5 Reasons Why This Is Toxic for Anxious Attachment 12:54 How action plan to feel more secure when they don't reply   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   🕊️📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free): https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.   I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family.  If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 01:46 5 Things I’d NEVER Do as a Secure Partner + Healed Anxiously Attached Woman 02:50 01. I don’t say the same boundary 5 times with no consequence 06:45 02. I don’t “go along” with things that feel bad just to avoid tension 08:54 03. I don’t chase connection when it’s not being met halfway 11:51 04. I don’t stay silent just to be “easy” 13:41 05. I don’t make everything mean something about me 16:32 Why you Don't need MORE reassurance 19:50 06. BONUS: I stopped BELIEVING every anxious thought meant “I’m in danger”     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

LISTEN BEFORE BED to Rewire your Mind in your sleep :) Struggling with relationship anxiety or anxious attachment? This gentle guided visualization helps you feel SECURE, grounded, and calm in your relationships. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you to slowly release old patterns and step into the confident, playful version of YOU. Listen when your mind is most open, before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork..when your brain is in a theta state and hyper-suggestible. 🌻💛 By rehearsing calm, secure moments in your mind’s eye, you can literally rewire your thoughts and body to feel safe, worthy, and steady. Imagine waking lighter, noticing small joys, and feeling your worth untouchable..without needing anyone else’s approval. This practice helps you pause, release tension, and trust yourself, even when others are distant or plans change. 🪞✨ Drift into calm, connect with your inner strength, and attract relationships that match your authentic, secure energy. Safe space only. Not a replacement for therapy. Your journey from anxious to secure starts here..thought by thought, image by image.     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to Future VISUALISATION for Relationship Anxiety 01:14 Disclaimer 01:37 Listen before SLEEP: From Anxious to Secure Attachment in Your Sleep     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships? Thinking won’t help: action is the solution. This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s always been there beneath the anxiety, doubt, and fear. This practice is all about identity shifts. Over time, we can lose touch with the steady, secure self we were born with. Childhood patterns, fears of rejection, and old survival strategies can make us overgive, overthink, or feel insecure. Through this session, you’ll gently explore new ways of showing up—moving from anxious to calm, from overthinking to present, from insecure to confident, from overgiving to setting boundaries, from loneliness to connection, and from doubt to worthiness. Each shift is anchored in your body, mind, and imagination so it becomes a natural part of you. 🌻✨ Here’s why it’s so powerful: your brain learns best through imagery, rehearsal, and embodiment. By seeing yourself handle triggers differently, linking new movements to each shift, and feeling the emotions in your body, you train both mind and body to respond securely in real-life situations. This is how I personally rewired my anxious attachment, stepping into a secure, confident self that I already had inside me, beneath all the old patterns. 🧠💛   The session follows a simple, transformative three-step process: Step 1: Choose your shifts. Focus on no more than three identity shifts at a time- like moving from anxious to calm, overthinking to present, or insecure to confident. These are the core areas you want to embody more in your life. Step 2: Anchor each shift with a movement or gesture. Simple body practices like lifting your chest, grounding your feet, placing a hand on your heart, or striking a power pose help your mind and body remember the new way of being. Linking a shift to a role model or metaphor..like a calm lake, a strong mountain, or a shining star..amplifies the effect. Step 3: Visualize and rehearse daily. Imagine handling old triggers in your day-to-day life as this new version of yourself. Each time you practice, even 1%, you become more aligned with your secure self. Over time, these shifts become second nature, and your anxious patterns naturally soften.   This practice works best when your mind is open and suggestible - before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork, when your brain is in a theta state. By visualizing, embodying, and rehearsing calm, confident, and grounded responses, you can literally rewire your brain and nervous system, creating security from the inside out. 🌤🖤   Throughout the session, you’ll also journal and reflect on the parts of yourself you want to release, and notice how each shift feels in your body. Over time, these small, consistent practices build real confidence, self-trust, and inner calm. You’ll stop reacting from fear and start living from love, naturally attracting healthier, steady, and mutual relationships. 💭 Remember: this is a safe, guided practice. Not a replacement for therapy. Make sure you’re in a comfortable space, sitting or lying down, and give yourself permission to pause, explore, and embody these shifts fully. Step into the secure, grounded, confident version of yourself, little by little, day by day.   You’ve already had this secure self inside you all along. This practice helps you remember, embody, and strengthen it, even in moments that used to trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Take a deep breath, feel your energy settle, and step into the calm, playful, confident YOU.     You can download this practice to get back to it anytime xx Jula   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or Unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure and get support through anxious moments in your relationship or dating life) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription     ➞ SHOP: 🛒🛍️✨ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻 (for little money but BIG transformations) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more 30+ FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.  

Ever catch yourself thinking… “Did I do something wrong?” “They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?” “This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”   You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic. You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love    In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.   We’ll explore: Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distant Negative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going well Control Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everything All-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomed Fortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens   These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave    But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them  And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle    This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.   Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship 01:16 01 Personalization 02:03 02 Negative Filtering 02:52 03 Control Fallacy 03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious? 05:16 Coaching vs Therapy 09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking 10:26 05 Fortune Telling     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it. You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again. But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages. Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.   When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship.” It feels like rejection, abandonment, like you're being erased. And your brain goes straight into panic mode.   In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 stages of healing after a breakup for the anxious type  and WHY each one feels so overwhelming.   We’ll start with the protest phase.. where you might beg, bargain, chase, or act like “you’re fine” when you’re actually falling apart. Then comes obsession + craving: where your nervous system feels addicted, and you can’t stop analyzing or fantasizing. Next is the shame spiral: that voice in your head saying “It’s because I wasn’t enough.” Then the grief + loneliness: that deep pain when the distractions wear off and the reality hits. And finally: the rewiring phase where you stop chasing a person and start repairing your inner safety. I’ll also show you where you might be getting stuck  like looping in the fantasy, hoping they’ll come back and finally give you what they never did. Or mistaking anxiety for intuition. Or trying to “heal” while secretly waiting for a text. This isn’t about pretending you're over it. This is about understanding what’s happening in your body, in your attachment system, so you can stop abandoning yourself to stop the pain.   You don’t need to be perfect to heal. You just need the right map  Let’s walk through it together... step by step.    Listen now & start breaking the cycle to rewire and heal from a breakup. Or watch on youtube and leave me comments, I love to be there for you xx   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Breakup Healing and Anxious Attachment 02:45 Stage 1: Shock & Panic Mode = Denial 04:47 Stage 2 : Anger & Shame = the ANGER STAGE 08:27 Stage 3: Bargaining, Craving & Obsession = Bargaining 13:51 Stage 4: Loneliness & Identity Collapse = Depression 16:02 Relationship Coaching if you like support 16:40 Stage 5: Integration & Secure Rewiring = Acceptance 20:52 Final Reminders that heal it ALL   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Ever spiral after a text delay? Feel rejected by a vibe shift? Think “this ALWAYS happens” - even if it’s just once? That’s not you being “crazy” or “too much.” It’s your brain running on ✨anxious survival mode✨  whispering LIES it thinks will protect you 😳 In this episode, we’re calling out the 6 BIGGEST cognitive distortions your anxious brain tells you when it feels unsafe - and giving them a loving reality check    You’ll learn: 🧠 Why “I feel it, so it must be true” is NOT the whole truth 🪫 The sneaky spiral of catastrophizing (aka “it’s over” after a 3-hour text delay) 🧨 How “mind reading” + “shoulds” quietly sabotage your connection 🪞 Why your brain blames YOU (or them)  and what to do instead 💬 Powerful coaching questions to interrupt spirals in the moment 📝 A 7-day challenge to start REWIRING your inner stories + get real results   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     CHAPTERS: 00:00 6 LIES Your Brain Tells You When You’re Anxiously Attached 01:44 01 Emotional Reasoning 03:43 O2 Overgeneralization 06:28 03 Should Statements 08:34 04 Labeling and Blaming 10:11 05 Mind Reading 12:49 06 Catastrophizing 15:05 Challenging Cognitive Distortions to feel less anxious 15:53 Cognitive Distortion Exercise for 7 days     This episode will help you stop believing everything your anxious mind says So you can: ➞ Create more emotional safety ➞ Stop the spiral before it ruins your connection ➞ Trust yourself again   PS: Awareness is powerful… But action = real transformation   ▶️ Listen in now to spot your anxious brain’s biggest tricks — and rewrite them Your future secure self is already PROUD of you Ready to stop spiraling, chasing, and questioning your worth in love?   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.” If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away… This episode is for you It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach. And maybe… You’ll want to share it with them 💌 Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.   What’s inside this episode: 🫂 5 powerful truths the anxious partner wishes they could say (but didn’t have the words for) 💭 “I’m not trying to be clingy... I’m trying to feel SAFE.” 🪫 The real reason anxious people overgive, chase, and people please 🧠 Why their nervous system spirals at even tiny signs of distance 🪞 Why they hide their needs + make themselves SMALL to stay close 💬 What they need when the avoidant partner shuts down or gets overwhelmed 🌊 Why healing together - even with different styles - is possible   ✨ Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment better 00:53 Dear Avoidant Attachment Style... I would love you to know about me (the Anxious Attachment Style)) 01:00 01 "I’m not trying to control you. I’m just scared." 03:00 02 "It’s not just about YOU. It’s about my past." 04:09 03 " I don’t WANT to be this way." 04:57 04 "When you shut down... I feel invisible." 06:07 05 "I want love to feel safe... for both of us."   You don’t have to hide how deeply you feel. Or apologize for how your nervous system responds. You are NOT “too much.” You’re just trying to feel safe 🖤   ▶️ Press play if you’ve ever thought: “I wish I could explain my anxiety without sounding crazy.” “I want them to see the real me... not the panicked version.” “I’m not broken. I’m just scared.”  

You thought you had finally learned the lesson. You told your friends, “I’m DONE with emotionally unavailable people.” You even went to therapy. Bought the book. Blocked the ex. But somehow…  here you are again… F alling for someone who: ➞ Pulls away when it gets deep ➞ Says “I’m just not ready right now” ➞ Makes you feel like you're “too much” just for wanting clarity 🩹🚪 It feels like you’re dating the same person in a different body  Like your heart knows better, but your nervous system didn’t get the memo 💣 This episode is your loving callout + step-by-step breakdown of WHY this keeps happening... and HOW to finally shift the pattern for good ✨   Here’s what we’ll cover: ✶ The hidden REASONS you’re drawn to avoidants (hint: it’s not just “low self-worth”) ✶ Why your nervous system gets addicted to the chase 🔗💥 ✶ The unconscious ways you might be reinforcing the cycle (even while trying to heal) ✶ How to finally interrupt the pattern and become a MAGNET for emotional safety 🧲🤍   And no, the answer isn’t “just love yourself more.” 😒 This goes deeper — into your attachment system, childhood blueprint, and your identity around love.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding the Attraction to Avoidant Partners 01:06 WHY are you attached to emotionally unavailable partners 02:48 Why leaving your current avoidant partner is NOT the solution 03:47 The role of CHILDHOOD in attraction 04:47 Why you're not attracted to Secure people 06:43 5 Steps to Break the Pattern and Addictive Chase 07:23 01 Meet the NEED behind the craving 08:03 02 Stop outsourcing your WORTH 08:59 03 Make PAIN your wake-up call, not your home 12:25 TWO WAYS TO WORK WITH ME RIGHT NOW ✨ 14:29 04 Choose a secure ENVIRONMENT on purpose 17:36 05: Break the Fantasy + See the Reality 18:52 Final Reminder   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship where you're doing everything to make it work… but the more you try, the more distant they become?   Today, we’re diving into the viral anxious-avoidant trap through the lens of a very public couple: Dejon and Megan from Love Island UK 2025. Yes, the ones who:✔️ Became boyfriend and girlfriend super fast ✔️ Claimed to be the "strongest couple" ✔️ Were dumped right before the final — after weeks of tension and arguments   They might have looked like the perfect couple on the outside… But if you’ve been following along, you probably felt it too: 🌪 Something was OFF. This episode is your deep dive into: ➞ What actually was going on between Dejon and Megan ➞ The classic signs of anxious and avoidant attachment ➞ Why the cycle feels SO magnetic… but also exhausting ➞ And what you can do if you see yourself in this pattern   This episode is NOT just about reality TV. It’s about YOU. The patterns playing out in your texts, your overthinking spirals, your constant craving for reassurance… or your urge to shut down and act chill when things get hard.   I’ll be breaking down: 🔍 Megan’s anxious attachment signs: falling fast, people-pleasing, walking on eggshells 🔍 Dejon’s avoidant behaviors: distancing, deflecting emotions, shutdowns during conflict 💥 The emotional triggers + core wounds fueling the cycle 🧨 The reason it feels SO HARD to walk away (even when you know it’s not working) 🔗 And how to finally start breaking the cycle, step by step   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money) ➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   ➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   00:00 Understanding the Anxious Avoidant Trap With Dejon and Megan from Love Island 05:47 Signs of Anxious vs Avoidant Attachment in Real Life Couples 09:16 Sign’s of Megan’s Anxious Attachment Style 11:40 Signs of Dejon’s Avoidant Attachment Style 15:17 Their Core wounds- the real emotional pain 17:15 The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle: Why It Feels Addictive but Unsafe 18:57 Why you're so attached...(it's not about your partner) 20:51 How do you break the cycle if you’re in it? 21:06 Step 0: STOP pretending everything’s fine. 22:46 Step 1: Name the pattern 23:41 Step 2: Take responsibility for YOUR side. 24:38 Step 3: Do the inner work 29:56 Step 4: Stop making your relationship your whole identity. 31:15 How do I actually know if someone’s a narcissist or just avoidantly attached? 35:00 Something most people get wrong   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.