The Coach and The Therapist

In this episode, we explore the common challenge of feeling overwhelmed due to an abundance of tasks and obligations. We discuss the power of subtraction, emphasizing the removal of unnecessary commitments from one's schedule. Practical examples, such as unsubscribing from irrelevant emails, deleting unused apps, and decluttering unused belongings, highlight the effectiveness of this approach. The key lies in replacing subtracted tasks with activities that bring genuine value, such as learning new skills or spending time in nature. [2:30] Individuals grappling with overwhelming responsibilities often unknowingly assume specific roles, evident in their precise language use and heightened anxiety with any deviation from self-imposed rules. In therapy, we label this as anxiety, delving into fears that reveal deeper concerns, like the belief that involvement in the Parent-Teacher organization is crucial for a child's success and the fear of failure and destitution. [4:05] Intriguingly, individuals adhering to unspoken roles often remain oblivious to the negative scenarios they conjure. We encourage exploring layers beyond surface-level responses, uncovering hidden thought processes that contribute to the complexity of problem-solving in their minds. Understanding these layers provides clarity on why overwhelm persists. [5:28] Uncovering the depth behind initial responses is crucial. A revealing experience involves exploring fears, where the fear of embarrassment may be rooted in a broader concern, such as the worry that others won't like them. Recognizing these underlying factors helps reshape behavior and disengage from unnecessary activities. [6:51] Addressing concerns, I consistently guide individuals down two avenues: challenging the belief that situations are as bad as perceived and empowering them to handle challenges. This dual approach fosters resilience and adaptability, crucial elements in overcoming perceived difficulties. [8:25] Overwhelm encompasses various emotions, and resisting them intensifies the feeling. Acceptance and acknowledgment empower individuals to handle emotions, while avoidance perpetuates a cycle of relentless thoughts contributing to overwhelm. [10:22] While removing distractions is crucial, overwhelmed individuals often focus on their to-do list. The initial step is subtracting activities that don't significantly impact others, especially during alone time. Examining personal time usage, such as news consumption or social media scrolling, is essential. [12:45] Cutting out processed sugars positively impacts emotional well-being. Breaking the cycle of relying on sugar for stress relief saves time and improves overall health, enhancing one's ability to appreciate the sweetness in healthier foods. [16:23] Subtracting negative judgment, both towards oneself and others, is a valuable practice. Observing and assuming the best about others is a starting point, with the additional challenge of recognizing and releasing negative self-talk. This shift fosters a compassionate perspective, promoting emotional well-being. [21:05] Our discussion on adding and subtracting revolves around identifying tasks that contribute to overwhelm and negative self-talk. We explore ways to cut down on unnecessary obligations and cultivate a compassionate inner dialogue. Differentiating between what truly adds value and what can be let go of is crucial in navigating overwhelming situations. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her ⁠website⁠. Learn more about therapy at ⁠Covenant Family Solutions⁠. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Welcome to the Coach and the Therapist podcast, where we explore life's challenges through two distinct perspectives. Each week, we tackle issues like anxiety, depression, and weight loss, drawing on our diverse backgrounds and expertise. [1:15] Overcoming the transition from inertia to action involves recognizing two common approaches: the all-or-nothing mentality and the gradual method. The all-or-nothing mindset often leads to challenges in sustaining change, while the gradual approach, despite taking longer, yields consistent positive outcomes. Both face initial hurdles, emphasizing the importance of a structured progression through recognition, uncertainty, decision-making, and adaptation for sustainable results. [4:50] Identifying obstacles to starting and preventing relapse amid stress involves breaking tasks into simpler steps. For example, starting with just getting the lawnmower out can minimize overwhelm and provide a manageable starting point. Acknowledging the human tendency to avoid discomfort, coaching sessions focus on understanding internal dialogues, instilling confidence by breaking down processes, and emphasizing the challenge lies in the starting phase. [12:00] Continuous research without action can be counterproductive. Clients often get overwhelmed by numerous approaches, creating dilemmas and internal conflicts that lead to avoidance. Encouraging small, manageable steps is crucial. Writing down tasks and identifying core results provide clarity and a starting point for progress. [15:25] Breaking aspirations into manageable components begins with starting small. Shifting focus from all tasks to accomplishing a few initiates natural progression. Even small steps, like mowing one stripe, can create momentum and ignite the drive to finish the entire task, leveraging psychological principles. [18:34] Handling skepticism about the impact of small tasks involves setting manageable blocks and recognizing existing efforts. Tailored approaches avoid sudden leaps, focusing on gradual adjustments aligned with current behaviors. Acknowledging past successes and encouraging immediate action are essential, with a focus on celebrating achievements and embracing imperfection. [24:08] Identifying straightforward next steps involves leveraging past successes and taking immediate action. Encouraging individuals to consider what they can do today toward their goal, celebrating even small successes, aligns with the journey-focused approach. Recognizing achievements, no matter how small, contributes to sustained motivation. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her⁠ ⁠website⁠⁠.  Learn more about therapy at⁠ ⁠Covenant Family Solutions⁠⁠.  Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at ⁠thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com.

"They ought to treat me better", "my house must be clean before I have guests", "I should eat better". We all have "should statements" in our lives, but are they really healthy for us to be thinking? In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob tackle the thought process that goes on in our heads when we think we ought to do something or be something else. Listen in to learn the why, the what, and the how of changing your outlook on your responsibilities.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Everyone has wrestled with a problem and everyone has struggled with an issue before, but what's the difference? In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob define and expand on what it means to tackle our problems. Listen in to learn a new way to look at your challenges and take them on at a new angle.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Most of us have heard the term "burnout" before, but not all of us understand how it happens. In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about burnout, how it happens, and how to avoid it. Listen in to learn all the big and small things you can change to keep yourself running at your best, all the time.  Sign up for Vanessa's webinar here Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Most of us have heard of FOMO, also known as the fear of missing out. In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about how FOMO can be damaging to us or hold us back from success. Listen to learn how some of your "FOMO"s might not be serving you. One might say, "You won't want to MISS this episode!"  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

All humans experience pain, but the question to ask yourself is this: Is this clean or dirty pain? What does this mean? Dirty pain is the narrative that we create to avoid, resist, or react to an emotion. Also known as unnecessary pain that we bring onto ourselves. Clean pain is the factual circumstance. Things can hurt, that is life. So, how do you keep your pain CLEAN? Listen and find out. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

We all have our own mountains that we want to climb. Do you let fear of failures, the opinions of others, or your own thoughts get in the way of your climb? Today Vanessa and Jacob share some of the mountains they have climbed in their business endeavors, and some lessons they've learned along the way. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Do you know what you want to achieve, but find yourself waiting for motivation to strike? You might find yourself waiting a LONG time. Today Vanessa and Jacob talk all things motivation including where it comes from and what to do when you don't have it.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

When you enter a situation without being prepared, you can easily get overwhelmed. But it is also easy to get overwhelmed when you get stuck in a spiral of, "what ifs." In today's episode, Vanessa and Jacob discuss how you can be prepared for situations without always worrying about the worst.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

How do you respond when someone gives you feedback? Do you listen? Do you get defensive? In today's episode, Vanessa and Jacob discuss the differences between feedback and criticism, and how our thoughts play a massive role in how we respond to receiving either. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Do you spend all of your time outside of work complaining about work? Do you always find yourself answering, "one more email," right before bed? Do you feel that you don't have enough energy after work to spend time doing your hobbies? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might be struggling to leave work at work. In today's episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about why it's difficult to create a healthy work/life balance, and what you can do to leave your work (and work stress) at work.  Register for Vanessa's 4-day Virtual Workshop, "How to Have a Better Relationship with Yourself in 5 Steps." Learn more about therapy at the Covenant Family Solutions website.

When big emotions come up, how do you respond? Do you do everything in your power to avoid them or accept them as they are? In this episode, Vanessa and Jacob discuss how you can react to these high highs or low lows without getting lost in them.  Register for Vanessa's 4-day Virtual Workshop, "How to Have a Better Relationship with Yourself in 5 Steps." Learn more about therapy at the Covenant Family Solutions website.

What do you do when you find yourself falling back into old habits? How do you cope when your thoughts are telling you you now have to start all over? These are the questions that Vanessa and Jacob seek to answer in today's episode of the podcast. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Have you ever walked away from a conversation ashamed of how you handled it? You are not alone. In today's episode Vanessa and Jacob talk about how you can show up for yourself in difficult conversations. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

It's January, so you know what that means. It's time to work out for three hours a day, lose 100 pounds, and write 10,000 words a day. January is a time for setting goals and new beginnings, but what happens when those lofty goals become overwhelming? In today's episode of the podcast, Vanessa and Jacob talk about all things new beginnings, including how you can enter the new year with realistic and achievable goals. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Asking for help is hard. We might be scared of admitting we need help or afraid that the other person will say no. In today's episode, Vanessa and Jacob talk about how to effectively ask for help. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

We will do a lot to save ourselves from a fear of failure, success, or getting hurt. However, trying to avoid these fears often also stops us from achieving our goals. Vanessa and Jacob talk about all things self-sabotage in today's episode of The Coach & The Therapist.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

In today's episode, Vanessa and Jacob discuss how to hear what others have to say about you without taking it to heart. Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com

Vanessa and Jacob talk about all of the ways that curiosity can add value to your life. They discuss how the book Multipliers by Liz Wiseman encourages curiosity, and how curiosity can help you strengthen the relationships and communication in your life.  Learn more about Vanessa's life coaching on her website. Learn more about therapy at Covenant Family Solutions. Contact us with your feedback and topic ideas at thecoachandthetherapist@gmail.com