Untethering Shame

In this episode, Kyira Wackett explores cognitive rehearsal, a powerful mental tool that helps you navigate fear, self-doubt, and tough situations before they happen. By mentally rehearsing conversations and decisions, you can break free from worst-case-scenario thinking, build confidence, and create a plan for success. Tune in to learn how this practice can help you shift from feeling stuck in uncertainty to taking intentional action in your life.Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. YouTube Website

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Kyira, I feel like I’m always running at 100%, sometimes even 110%, just to keep everything together. I tell myself I’m fine, but then one small thing tips me over and I completely crash. Why does this keep happening, and how do I break the cycle without feeling like I’m failing?”If you’ve ever lived on the edge of burnout, calling it “normal,” you know how exhausting and defeating that cycle can feel. We’re taught that giving our all means giving everything, all the time—but what if the truth is that sustainability actually lives at 80%, not 100?Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why our idea of “100% capacity” is rooted in hustle culture and survivalThe crash-and-burn cycle and why it’s not a personal failureWhat it means to treat 80% as the new 100%Practical shifts that help you design a sustainable system for your lifeHow to separate your worth from your outputIf you’ve ever felt like “fine until I’m not fine” is your baseline, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the shame cycle — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Rest isn’t laziness—it’s what makes your life sustainable.#AskMeAnything #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #SustainableLiving #AdversityRising

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“My parents act like they have a right to unlimited access to my kids, even though they barely respect me as their parent. How do I deal with their guilt trips without cutting them off completely?”This is one of the toughest dynamics adult children face: navigating the expectations parents bring into the grandparent role. When access to your kids gets demanded instead of earned, it can create huge tension and guilt.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why grandparent access isn’t an automatic rightHow guilt trips erode trust instead of building connectionWhy respecting you as the parent is the foundation of being included as a grandparentPractical ways to set boundaries around your kids without severing ties completelyIf you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your children and avoiding conflict with your parents, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right — and it begins with respecting your child as the parent.#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ParentingAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with photographer, painter, and grief educator Shannon McFarland to explore the intersection of shame and creativity.Many of us grow up believing creativity is something we either have or don’t—a gift reserved for the “artistic.” Shannon challenges that belief, inviting us to see creativity as a practice of presence, process, and self-expression rather than performance or perfection. Together, she and Kyira unpack how early criticism, evaluation, and comparison can silence our creative voices, and how reclaiming that voice is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with ourselves.From stories about art class trauma and commissioned work to lessons from teaching painting in nursing facilities, Shannon reminds us that creativity isn’t about talent—it’s about curiosity, safety, and willingness to take risks. The conversation also touches on parenting, self-compassion, and how to model creative freedom for the next generation.If you’ve ever said “I’m not creative,” or stopped yourself from making something because it wouldn’t be “good enough,” this episode will help you see that creativity lives in the way you dress, solve problems, make dinner, and respond to life itself.Key Takeaways:Creativity is a practice, not a product. It’s something we nurture through curiosity, mistakes, and repetition—not something we’re born with or without.Evaluation kills exploration. When creativity becomes about grades, praise, or performance, it shuts down our willingness to take risks.Shame often begins early. A single comment from a teacher, parent, or peer can silence creativity for decades; awareness helps us break that cycle.Safety is the foundation for self-expression. People can only create freely when they feel emotionally safe, seen, and unjudged.Art as connection. Rather than evaluating what a person makes, focus on what it means and what emotions or memories it evokes.Creativity lives everywhere. From cooking and organizing to problem-solving and parenting, we express creativity daily—even if we don’t call it that.Let go of external standards. The value of your art—or any act of creation—doesn’t depend on whether others “get it.”Model what you want to nurture. Children (and adults) learn creativity by watching us take risks, make mistakes, and create for joy, not validation.Repurpose and celebrate. Host small art shows, reuse creative work, or make gifts—rituals that honor the process while keeping it playful.Creativity is an act of radical self-connection. It invites us to reenter our own lives, find meaning in imperfection, and reconnect with wonder.More about Shannon:I'm a quirky, awkward, and kinda endearing person who cares a whole lot. I'm really interested in difficult, uncomfortable things and being present while those are being worked through, whether it's my stuff or someone else's. People know me as a photographer, painter, grief educator, and art teacher.Connect with Shannon:WebsiteInstagramSubstackReady to take the next step?Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the PodcastDownload the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Why do I feel like the villain every time I set a boundary with my mom? I’ll say no to something simple, and suddenly I’m the worst child in the world. How do I not get crushed by the guilt?”If you’ve ever tried to set a boundary with a parent — only to be met with anger, guilt trips, or silence — you know how brutal it can feel. Boundaries are meant to protect relationships, but when parents push back, it can leave you drowning in shame.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why boundaries are not rejection but an act of loveThe difference between your guilt and their discomfortHow “boundary backlash” shows up in familiesPractical ways to hold the line without over-explaining or apologizingIf you’ve ever felt like setting a boundary makes you the “bad guy,” this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Boundaries are not rejection — they’re the doorway to healthier connection.#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with coach Renae for a candid and powerful conversation about control, perfectionism, food, body image, and the cycles we often get stuck in when trying to “fix” ourselves.Together, they explore why so many high-achieving women find themselves trapped in all-or-nothing thinking—whether with dieting, work, relationships, or overcommitting—and how shame and self-doubt fuel these cycles. Renae shares her own experiences with food and body image, the dangers of living for external validation, and how real change begins when we learn to tolerate discomfort, let go of impossible ideals, and ask the question: Do I even want to keep doing this?The conversation covers the messy middle between shame and growth, the cultural messages that reinforce perfection, and the freedom that comes when we step out of survival mode and start creating lives aligned with our actual values.Listeners will walk away with both validation and practical tools to reframe their relationship with food, success, and self-worth—reminders that being “perfectly imperfect” is not only enough, it’s where real peace lives.Key Takeaways:All-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck in shame cycles—lasting change requires embracing imperfection.Food, dieting, alcohol, and overwork often serve as coping tools for deeper issues of worth and belonging.Social media snapshots and cultural messages fuel the myth of the “ideal self,” but the real self will always ebb and flow.External validation feels good in the short term, but true security comes from cultivating internal self-worth.Asking “Do I actually want to keep doing this?” is a powerful first step to breaking autopilot patterns.High achievers often over-function to cover shame; learning to sit with discomfort opens the door to healthier choices.Intention matters: the same behavior (e.g., working out, eating a salad) can either be shame-driven or value-driven.Letting others be responsible for themselves is not selfish—it’s an act of respect and emotional maturity.Recovery and growth exist on a spectrum; some days will feel “on point,” and others messy, but both are valid.Ultimately, freedom comes from learning to approach life with curiosity and compassion instead of control and fear.More about Renae:Renae Saager is a sharp, straight-talking mindset coach who helps high-achieving women stop secretly bingeing, obsessing over food, and pretending everything’s “fine” when it’s clearly not. After years of living a double life with food—binging, restricting, hiding, and punishing herself—Renae broke free. Today, she coaches women to do the same: no diets, no shame, no starting over every Monday.Connect with Renae:WebsitePodcast1-SheetInstagramReady to take the next step?Join the Boundaries & Brave Email ChallengeSubmit a Question for the PodcastDownload the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Every time I go out with my parents, they expect me to pay — like it’s just assumed now because I ‘make more money.’ I’m drowning in bills myself. How do I set boundaries without looking ungrateful?”Money is one of the biggest sources of tension in adult parent–child relationships. When parents expect their adult kids to pick up the tab — or worse, cover their expenses — it can feel like love is being measured in dollars. But the truth is: you don’t owe your parents financial support, and your worth as a child isn’t defined by whether you pay.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why financial expectations from parents can feel so heavyHow guilt and “you owe me” narratives get tied to moneyWhy love and money should never be confusedPractical ways to set financial boundaries without collapsing into guiltIf you’ve ever wondered whether saying “no” makes you ungrateful, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Boundaries around money aren’t selfish — they’re necessary for healthy relationships.#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #MoneyAndShame #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

Join the ⁠Boundaried & Brave Email Series⁠SummaryIn this powerful conversation, Kyira sits down with longtime friend and colleague Renee Nelson to explore what it truly means to choose yourself, even when it’s hard. From walking away from a stable career and calling off an engagement to redefining what fulfillment looks like at different life stages, Renee shares the courage and self-trust it takes to let go of “fine” in order to thrive. Together, Kyira and Renee reflect on ambivalence, comparison, people-pleasing, and the shame that keeps so many of us from saying no.Through stories of career pivots, relationship decisions, and the evolving balance between ambition and family life, they highlight the importance of support systems, the fear of irrelevance, and the deep work of trusting that—even in uncertainty—we will be okay. This episode is both deeply personal and widely relatable, offering listeners permission to reevaluate what they’re holding onto, where they may be settling, and how to begin choosing themselves without apology.Key Takeaways:Choosing yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential for showing up fully in relationships, careers, and life.Ambivalence is more dangerous than conflict. Settling for “fine” keeps us stuck in lives that don’t light us up.Support systems matter. Having people who encourage your growth makes it easier to face fear and uncertainty.Saying no is powerful. It’s not your responsibility to manage other people’s disappointment when you choose differently.Fulfillment changes with life seasons. What lit you up 10 years ago may not align with who you are today.Comparison steals context. Social media and societal expectations make it easy to feel behind, but your journey is uniquely yours.Hard choices often bring the most growth. Walking away from jobs, relationships, or identities that no longer fit creates space for thriving.It’s not life or death. Most decisions feel bigger than they are—reminding yourself that you will be okay can help cut through shame and fear.Authenticity builds resilience. By choosing ourselves, we create the conditions for deeper connection and more sustainable success.More about Renee:Renee Nelson is a travel enthusiast, adventure seeker, studio hopper (gyms) and new to the start up world, after being at a fortune 500 company for her first 7.5 years out of college. She prides herself on trying to find the positives in everything and absolutely adores people.Connect with Renee:LinkedInInstagramReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“My dad keeps saying I ‘never come see him’ but he’s never once offered to drive to me. I’ve got two kids, a job, and no extra money for travel. Am I really the selfish one here?”If you’ve ever been guilted into visiting a parent — even when your life is stretched thin — you’re not alone. We unpack the expectation that adult children should always be the ones to make visits happen, and why that’s not fair or sustainable.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why “you never visit me” guilt trips hurt more than they helpThe imbalance adult children face when parents expect one-sided effortHow guilt erodes connection instead of creating itPractical ways to respond that honor both your reality and your relationshipIf you’ve ever felt selfish or ungrateful for saying “no” to a visit, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Visits should be about joy and mutual effort — not guilt or obligation.#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

In Part 2 of Kyira’s conversation with Change Consultant Carl King, the focus shifts from breaking free of rigid religious systems to the long and often messy process of rebuilding life afterward. Carl reflects on the terror and liberation of walking away, the ongoing pull of shame and self-sabotage, and the importance of learning to sit with discomfort instead of rushing toward quick fixes. Together, Kyira and Carl explore themes of identity, ambiguity, and curiosity as tools for healing and growth, reminding listeners that change is less about having the “right” answer and more about experimenting with new ways of being.Key TakeawaysFreedom is mixed. Leaving controlling systems brings both terror and empowerment — it’s never clean or simple.Insight and action are different. Sometimes the most powerful move is holding space in ambiguity instead of rushing to “fix” things.Boundaries build self-worth. Saying “no” creates respect and helps reveal who genuinely values you.Trust takes rebuilding. Healing requires learning to see individuals as distinct, not assuming everyone will harm or control.Creativity fosters resilience. Outlets like writing, music, or simple “chord changes” open space for curiosity and healing.It’s all an experiment. Approaching life with patience, curiosity, and compassion reduces shame and keeps growth possible.More about Carl:Carl King is a Change Consultant, empowering organizations and individuals with methods for lasting change. Drawing from his rich tapestry of experiences, Carl brings a unique blend of empathy and insight to his coaching practice. His own journey taught him the power of embracing change, and he's dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own transformations skillfully.Connect with Carl:WebsiteInstagram/Socials: @carleking and @mychordchangeReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Why does it always feel like I’m the bad guy for not calling my mom every day when she could just as easily call me? I’m exhausted and somehow it’s still on me.”If you’ve ever felt guilty for not calling enough — or been shamed for not doing more to “keep the relationship alive” — you’ll connect with this one. We explore the guilt adult children often feel when parents put the responsibility of connection entirely on them, and what it takes to set that weight down.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why this guilt doesn’t actually belong to youThe myth of “role reversal” in adult parent–child relationshipsHow guilt trips erode connection instead of building itPractical ways to respond to “You never call me” without caving or overexplainingIf you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly cast as the “bad guy” in your relationship with a parent, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit here⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding your life in values, not shame.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized coaching or programs that support your next step.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Love should feel mutual, not one-sided. You don’t have to carry the relationship alone.#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #ShameResilience #AdultChildren #AdversityRising

In this conversation, Kyira and Jennifer Ginty explore the deep connection between emotions, shame, and healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of surviving childhood trauma, navigating Complex PTSD and depression, and ultimately creating My Moody Monster — a tool designed to help both children and adults externalize and regulate big emotions. Together, they discuss how society teaches us to suppress feelings, the generational cycles that keep us from emotional regulation, and why learning to face and integrate emotions is central to healing.Emotions are information, not problems. Every feeling serves a purpose, but judgment and suppression turn them into sources of shame.Healing is not linear. Growth is a roller coaster of highs and lows — giving yourself grace is essential.Generational patterns matter. Families and micro-societies teach us to stuff emotions, but we can choose to break the cycle.Toolboxes are personal. From therapy skills to creative outlets like Moody, what matters is finding tools that work for you.Kids need safe outlets. Tools like Moody help children (and adults) externalize frustration, communicate about feelings, and rebuild after emotional outbursts.Building a team is key. Surrounding yourself with supportive professionals and loved ones helps reinforce that you matter too.More about Jen:Jen is the creator of Moody, a project born from her journey of living with Complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Refusing to be defined by suffering, Jen sees Moody as a love story to her healing — a tool that has not only supported her through challenges but also helped children navigate their big feelings. Today, she is on a mission to bring Moody to first responders, social workers, and children facing traumatic events, ensuring they are met with care, support, and hope.Connect with Jen:YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@mymoodymonsterInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/mymoodymonsterFacebook: http://www.facebook.com/my-moody-monsterTikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@mymoodymonsterLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/93141440My Moody Monster – Learn more about Jennifer’s creation, pre-order a Moody, or explore donation options to support kids and families through first responders and social workers.Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) – An evidence-based therapy that teaches skills for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness.Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic approach that helps people explore and heal different “parts” of themselves shaped by past experiences.Find a Therapist – Building your own “team” is essential. You can search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today or GoodTherapy.In Crisis? – If you’re struggling with trauma or overwhelming emotions, help is available. In the U.S., call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If outside the U.S., please look up your local crisis hotline for immediate support.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsiteKey TakeawaysResources & Additional Information

In this thought-provoking episode, Kyira Wackett and Avani Patel delve into the societal pressures and standards that shape our lives. They explore the challenges of asking for help in a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they uncover how societal norms impact our sense of belonging and self-worth. Join them as they discuss the importance of reclaiming personal power and rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us. Tune in to discover how embracing vulnerability can lead to profound personal growth and stronger community connections.Societal Pressures and Standards: Exploring how societal norms influence our behavior and self-perception.Asking for Help: The challenges and misconceptions around seeking support and its impact on personal growth.Connection and Belonging: The role of community in overcoming shame and fostering a sense of belonging.Reclaiming Personal Power: Strategies for rewriting personal narratives and taking back control of one's life.Vulnerability and Growth: How embracing vulnerability can lead to significant personal transformation.Cultural Differences: Insights into how different cultures approach help and community support.Generational Beliefs: Breaking the cycle of inherited beliefs and creating new, empowering narratives.More about Avani:“I recently left corporate after 20 years to pursue my passion for helping others. As a hypnotherapist, I help my clients with deep healing. As a coach, I teach women how to end the hustle and grind of burnout so that they can have more balance, happiness, and fulfillment.”Connect with Avani:Eternal Alchemists: WebsiteCoaching WebsiteInstagramYouTubeTikTokReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I’m dating someone new and they’re great, but I keep waiting for something to go wrong. How do I stop sabotaging what feels good?”We unpack the fear of being seen, loved, and safe — especially when past pain makes “good” feel unfamiliar or even threatening. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why your nervous system might interpret calm and connection as dangerHow shame and past hurt quietly drive self-sabotageWhat to say to yourself (and your partner) when fear creeps inHow to build safety without abandoning your growthIf you’ve ever found yourself pulling away from something good — even when you want to lean in — this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start replacing old sabotage cycles with daily self-trust practices.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or community support designed for your growth.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You don’t have to sabotage what’s good just to feel prepared. You’re allowed to feel safe — even if it’s new.#AskMeAnything #RelationshipAnxiety #SelfSabotage #ShameResilience #AttachmentHealing #AdversityRising

Summer Re-Release SeriesWe’re taking a pause to rest and reflect—and sharing some of your favorite episodes in the meantime. These powerful conversations are worth revisiting, whether it’s your first time listening or a timely return. New episodes resume September 7th.Episode: Shame & Ambition with Andrea BarrIn this conversation, Kyira and certified coach Andrea Barr explore what it means to pursue ambition on your own terms. They unpack the pressures of perfectionism, premature identity foreclosure, and external expectations—and how shame weaves through each of these barriers. Together, they offer a powerful reframe of ambition as a slow burn rooted in curiosity, intention, and personal fulfillment—not performance or permission. This episode is an invitation to come home to your values and make bold, aligned decisions, even in the face of fear.Key TakeawaysRedefine ambition as an internal drive grounded in values—not just career outcomes.Recognize how shame, fear of failure, and fear of judgment can block authentic pursuit.Let go of the pressure to “choose one path” early and forever.Share your goals and ambitions to build accountability, not approval-seeking.Embrace exploration, change, and intentional decision-making.Prioritize fulfillment, balance, and your evolving desires.About Andrea:Andrea Barr is an ICF Certified Coach who helps parents figure out their work-life rhythms to create more quality time with their families while continuing to grow personally and professionally. She’s the host of the All Figured Out podcast and offers 1:1 coaching and community-based events online and in Vancouver, Canada.Connect with Andrea:⁠Instagram⁠⁠Website⁠Check out Ep. 57 "⁠Coping with shame and guilt as a parent with Kyira Wackett⁠"Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Whenever someone compliments me, I instantly deflect or downplay it. How do I learn to actually believe good things about myself?”We explore how shame, fear of visibility, and old survival strategies make it hard to accept even the kindest words — and how to begin building a new relationship with self-worth. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why compliments feel threatening when we don’t trust our own worthThe connection between downplaying praise and self-protectionHow to receive a compliment without deflecting or apologizingGentle practices to help you believe good things about yourself — without shameIf you’ve ever felt squirmy, uncomfortable, or exposed when someone says something nice about you — this one’s for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” and start shifting the narrative that says you don’t deserve good things.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore personalized support through coaching and programs.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You are allowed to be seen. You are allowed to be celebrated. You don’t have to shrink to be safe.#AskMeAnything #ReceivingCompliments #ShameResilience #SelfWorth #Visibility #AdversityRising

Summer Re-Release SeriesWe’re taking a pause to rest and reflect—and sharing some of your favorite episodes in the meantime. These powerful conversations are worth revisiting, whether it’s your first time listening or a timely return. New episodes resume September 7th.Episode: Shame & Binge Eating with Kyira WackettIn this solo episode, Kyira shares her own story and lived experience with binge eating, breaking down the myths, stigma, and shame that so often accompany it. Rather than centering food itself, this conversation unpacks the emotional drivers beneath disordered eating behaviors—especially the role of shame, secrecy, and self-punishment. Kyira walks through how she learned to bring curiosity and compassion to the table, transforming the narrative from one of control and chaos to one of understanding and care.Whether you struggle with binge eating or have internalized messages about food and body that leave you feeling disconnected or ashamed, this episode is a grounding and validating listen.Key TakeawaysBinge eating is often a response to emotional overwhelm, not a failure of willpower.Shame thrives in secrecy—naming our patterns is the first step toward change.Curiosity and compassion are powerful tools in breaking cycles of self-punishment.Healing from disordered eating is not about control, but about reconnection.You are not alone—and your worth is not defined by what or how you eat.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "⁠⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠⁠," and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a ⁠⁠free 25-minute discovery call⁠⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs. Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠ and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ 

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I always find myself being the ‘fixer’ in every relationship — friendships, family, work. I don’t know how to stop without feeling like I’m abandoning people.”We explore the deeper emotional wiring behind fixer behavior — and why it’s often less about control and more about safety and self-worth. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why fixer tendencies often develop as a way to feel needed or valuedHow over-functioning keeps both you and others stuckWhat it looks like to support someone without carrying their emotional weightTools to break the cycle without being consumed by guilt or shameIf you’ve ever felt like it’s your job to keep everything and everyone together — this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to begin shifting out of fixer mode and into self-trust.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore the support that best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you trust yourself — and them — enough to stop carrying what was never yours.#AskMeAnything #FixerMentality #Boundaries #ShameResilience #LettingGo #AdversityRising

Have you ever felt guilty for throwing out food you forgot about, buying clothes you never wore, or needing to replace something you thought should have lasted longer? You’re not alone.In this episode, Kyira shares her own story of holding onto worn-out underwear (yes, really) and explores why so many of us feel shame about “wasting” money. Together, we’ll look at how these feelings come from scarcity beliefs, how they keep us stuck in avoidance and self-criticism, and how to start practicing radical acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why shame shows up around spending and wasteThe connection between scarcity stories and self-worthHow avoidance only fuels more shameSimple strategies to reframe your thinking and respond with compassionA reminder that you are allowed to be human and that you don’t have to do everything perfectly to be enoughReflection prompts:✨ What’s one area of your life where you feel guilt about waste?✨ What story does that guilt tell you about who you are?✨ How might you meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism?More on MoneyCheck out the episode on Shame & Money with Kyley Caldwell here. Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start building daily practices that shift you out of guilt and back into self-trust.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore program options and find the support that fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠Call to action:If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need this reminder. And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review—it helps this work reach more people who are ready to untether from shame.

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Hey Kyira, I could really use some perspective on something that’s been weighing on me. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m always disappointing my partner because I’m hardly ever in the mood for sex.It’s not that I don’t care about them or that I’m not attracted to them — I do. But it feels like no matter how much I try to psych myself up or convince myself it’ll be fine, I just can’t get there. By the time the day is over, I’m totally drained, and the idea of being intimate feels overwhelming instead of connecting.I’m usually a pretty energetic person, so it’s confusing to feel this shut down in this one area. And every time I say no, I end up carrying so much guilt and this nagging thought that I’m failing somehow. How do I even start to understand what’s going on here and stop feeling like I’m letting them down all the time?”We explore why desire can feel so elusive — even in relationships filled with love — and how shame and exhaustion can make it harder to connect. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why your desire isn’t always a reflection of your love or commitmentThe hidden role of stress, overstimulation, and nervous system shutdownHow pressure and guilt can quietly erode sexual connectionWays to redefine intimacy without betraying your own needsIf you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of sexual expectations you can’t meet, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start building daily practices that shift you out of guilt and back into self-trust.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore program options and find the support that fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 Your worth isn’t measured by your desire. You are allowed to honor your needs without apology.#AskMeAnything #SexualDesire #ShameResilience #RelationshipHealth #SelfCompassion #AdversityRising