In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with photographer, painter, and grief educator Shannon McFarland to explore the intersection of shame and creativity.

Many of us grow up believing creativity is something we either have or don’t—a gift reserved for the “artistic.” Shannon challenges that belief, inviting us to see creativity as a practice of presence, process, and self-expression rather than performance or perfection. Together, she and Kyira unpack how early criticism, evaluation, and comparison can silence our creative voices, and how reclaiming that voice is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with ourselves.

From stories about art class trauma and commissioned work to lessons from teaching painting in nursing facilities, Shannon reminds us that creativity isn’t about talent—it’s about curiosity, safety, and willingness to take risks. The conversation also touches on parenting, self-compassion, and how to model creative freedom for the next generation.

If you’ve ever said “I’m not creative,” or stopped yourself from making something because it wouldn’t be “good enough,” this episode will help you see that creativity lives in the way you dress, solve problems, make dinner, and respond to life itself.

Key Takeaways:

• Creativity is a practice, not a product. It’s something we nurture through curiosity, mistakes, and repetition—not something we’re born with or without.
• Evaluation kills exploration. When creativity becomes about grades, praise, or performance, it shuts down our willingness to take risks.
• Shame often begins early. A single comment from a teacher, parent, or peer can silence creativity for decades; awareness helps us break that cycle.
• Safety is the foundation for self-expression. People can only create freely when they feel emotionally safe, seen, and unjudged.
• Art as connection. Rather than evaluating what a person makes, focus on what it means and what emotions or memories it evokes.
• Creativity lives everywhere. From cooking and organizing to problem-solving and parenting, we express creativity daily—even if we don’t call it that.
• Let go of external standards. The value of your art—or any act of creation—doesn’t depend on whether others “get it.”
• Model what you want to nurture. Children (and adults) learn creativity by watching us take risks, make mistakes, and create for joy, not validation.
• Repurpose and celebrate. Host small art shows, reuse creative work, or make gifts—rituals that honor the process while keeping it playful.
• Creativity is an act of radical self-connection. It invites us to reenter our own lives, find meaning in imperfection, and reconnect with wonder.

More about Shannon:

I'm a quirky, awkward, and kinda endearing person who cares a whole lot. I'm really interested in difficult, uncomfortable things and being present while those are being worked through, whether it's my stuff or someone else's. People know me as a photographer, painter, grief educator, and art teacher.

Connect with Shannon:

• Website
• Instagram
• Substack

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