I once briefly dated a guy who told me I was like one of those scared little chihuahuas that's always trembling. A dagger to my heart especially bc I was like.. shit... I definitely kinda relate to that sometimes.... 

A large part of my experience as a human being so far in this lifetime is wondering if I'm good, trying to be good, scared that I'm bad, trying to avoid being bad, and hence a lot of rigidity, control, fear and neuroticism.

This episode is weird. It's vulnerable, honest, and kind of funny? It's definitely a glimpse inside the inner landscape of someone (me) who grew up with a strong sense of conditional love. Which makes you spend way too much time/energy questioning your worth. 

That's why two of my biggest healing anchors are self-compassion and nature. They both hold the essence of unconditional love. When I practice self-compassion or spend time in nature…  I always feel like I belong, as I am, no matter what.

What I want more than anything for myself is to feel a high sense of self worth and a knowingness that I'm good enough and deserving of good things. I want that for myself and I want that for everyone. I may have a scared chihuahua in me but first of all she deserves love and 2nd, I'm also so much more complex than that. I've got a goofy basset hound in me too. And a scrappy terrier. A chill couch dog. A loyal Saint Bernard. Lots of good.