Today, my courageous guest Ella Cotterell, shares her story of going no-contact with her father after growing up experiencing cycles of narcissistic abuse and finally reaching a point where she was ready to free herself. It has been one full year of grieving for Ella, and in our conversation you’ll hear what it’s been like for her to choose herself, the pain and possibilities of the grief portal, and the beautiful new explorations Ella is making with a sense of deep self love and trust.

Today, Kate and Ella explore:

+ What life is like for Ella, one year one from making the decision to go no-contact with her Father and freeing herself from the cycles of a narcissistic relationship

+ The incident of verbal abuse and narcissistic rage that preceded Ella’s lightbulb moment leading to choose herself, instead of continuing to play the role of “fixer”

+ The critical steps that built up a sense of resilience, trust and understanding that the relationship was not something that she could fix (and that she wasn’t the problem)

+ How to identify the gaslighting cycle in relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies, how it messes with your sense of self-trust and how to learn to back yourself

+ What it looked like for Ella to succumb to her grief at the loss of her relationship with her Father and how she prioritised her wellbeing during the most acute period

+ How Ella is navigating a new found sense of curiosity and the exploration of desires that didn’t previously feel safe to emerge

+ The love and longing that Ella is finally feeling able to access on the other side of grief and loss

+ The relational healing that Ella experienced with others, that never would have happened if she hadn’t gone no-contact with her Dad.

+ Ella’s essential guidance for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse to move towards safety and future thriving

Disclaimer: Please care for yourself while listening to this episode if the content of our discussion hits close to home.

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Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Ella’s website


• Follow Ella on Instagram


• Dr Ramani on Instagram


• SensuAlchemy School of Embodied Grief & Pleasure (The school)


• Leave a podcast review on iTunes here


• Thought or reflection to share? Leave a comment on Instagram here

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Find Kate on the following platforms:

Website: http://kateleiper.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kate.leiper

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekateleiper

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