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Obsessive thoughts got ya down? Listen in on this week's episode for 5 ways to stop your ruminating thoughts after narcissistic abuse

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TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1: (00:00 )

Oh my Queens. This one's a hard one. These obsessive thoughts. I have so many clients come to me with this. I went through this. I remember not being able to concentrate at work. Literally having to go to the bathroom and be like, okay, get it together. Focus, because of my narcissistic situation inside of it. And even after we disconnected, it almost became worse in a different way, even though I was actually the one who broke it off with the narcissist. So cozy up, get a little drink, let's hang out. Let's talk about how to stop these obsessive thoughts, how to help stop them. We can't stop them immediately right away, but there are a lot of ways to do that. Also, the podcast episode before this is more about why we have these obsessive thoughts, especially after a narcissistic, abusive situation. So check that out either now or, or save it and listen to it later. Stay tuned for five glorious ways to help us with these obsessive thoughts.



Speaker 1: (01:06 )

Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? Do you find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal now? Do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you'll find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace.



Speaker 1: (02:03 )

All right? So first of all, remember, give yourself grace and patience with this process. Nothing is overnight, but it is possible to undo this damage and find peace and freedom from narcissistic abuse. So the first thing I'm gonna say, and this is one that helped me earlier on in the journey, especially when I had to just get out of my head immediately, and that is changing your environment. And it sounds simple, but you've gotta stir up that motivation to do it. First of all, you can't do it without doing it, but change your environment. I would literally go outside, like I said, even if I was at work, if I couldn't get outta my head, I would be like, all right. Hmm. Taking a little elevator ride down to the first floor and going outside, just shaking it off, saying, you know, saying hi to people, even in the lobby of my office, whatever, kind of distracted my brain a little bit to break the the cycle.



Speaker 1: (02:59 )

So changing your actual environment, especially if you have time, you can go and hang out in nature. You can go for a run, pick up the phone, call a friend. Don't talk about the narc though. You've gotta make decisions and choices too, right? So change your environment and change. Change the thoughts, right? Like decide to talk about something else. If you are going to call someone or watch a funny show, like I said, get out, go to a store. I feel like it's a lot easier to get into our heads and really spiral down if we are sitting in our home alone in a quiet space, right? And over time we will have to find other coping mechanisms. But in the very beginning, that was something super helpful and it's something I still use today. I mean, in general with life stresses, that is one of my go-to things, is to get outside, do something healthier than sitting in my little brain full of crazy thoughts.



Speaker 1: (03:58 )

Okay, number two, practicing mindfulness. If you've been following me, you know, I'm a big fan for a reason of all the meditation, yin yoga specifically. Um, it's a practice that involves paying attention to the present moment, right? So by focusing on the present moment, you may be able to reduce the power of those intrusive thoughts related to the past abuse or current abuse. You may be listening to this if you are currently in this situation as well. So I'm trying to address everybody. Um, mindfulness practices can include the meditation, deep breathing, you know, breath work and yoga. Number three is using grounding techniques. So these can help you feel more connected again to the present moment and less overwhelmed by those thoughts. Some of these include breath work, right? It's the same sort of thing. It's it's mindfulness, but it also is a physical activity that's going to ground you focusing on physical sensations.



Speaker 1: (05:01 )

And I do this and talk about this with my clients. I even do this with my eight year old daughter. When she's a little, she gets a little anxiety, especially, she's kind of a perfectionist. Anybody relate, anyone have perfectionism or kids that have perfectionism? Um, so sometimes with her schoolwork, I mean literally if she gets below a 90%, she, she gets a little anxious. So in the moment we do the sensory activities, which is like I do something like, okay, find something, a red something that's the color red in the room. And then I want you to shut your eyes and smell. Is there any smell you can pick up? Then we do something with touch, maybe like find a very soft texture in the room or maybe find a, you know, more rough texture. Um, then one of my favorites is because there's always some sort of noise, even if it's some sort of room noise or a fan or birds chirping, shutting your eyes.



Speaker 1: (06:02 )

And I like to say find two sounds cuz there's usually more than one. And you can do this and you can repeat this and change it. You know, you can then look for something the color teal, like make it a little tricky. Um,