In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about the big transition back to school after the summer holidays.

Key Takeaways

• Early signs of school anxiety often show up in unexpected ways, like food refusal or “I’m not going back” language.
• Preparation can be supportive—but too much talk or change too far in advance can fuel anxiety instead.
• Creating “worry boundaries” helps keep August feeling like summer rather than weeks of dread.
• New timetables, new staff, and classroom changes can be huge triggers—meet-and-greets and phased starts make a difference.
• Reduced demands can ease pressure, but they need to be handled carefully so they don’t harden into new rigid routines.
• Safe foods and small wins (like trips to McDonald’s) can tide children over through anxiety spikes.
• Parents need realistic self-care—short breaks, slower mornings, or supportive rituals—to stay resilient.
• Trust and reassurance are more powerful than pressure: children need to know they won’t be forced into situations they can’t cope with.

Mentioned in This Episode

Victoria talked about her experience with Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) for anxiety with her client, psychotherapist and Founding EFT Master Carol Look. You can learn more about Carol's work at www.carollook.com

Listener Letter

This week we’re so grateful to share a message from Kirsty, one of our listeners:

“...I just wanted you both to know you’ve become a lifeline to me with tips that actually work. Please keep going ladies! One not-so-stressed-out mom thanks to you both. Thank you for being open, honest and willing to share. It makes the world of difference to know we aren’t alone.”

Warmest wishes,

Kirsty & T 💛

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Transcript

[00:00:00 ] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome back to the Autism Moms Podcast. In today's episode, we're talking about the transition back to school after the summer holidays.

Natalie Tealdi:

But before we get started, we just want to share a lovely letter we had from our listener, Kirsty, with her permission. Messages like this remind us why these conversations are so important. Here's what Kirsty wrote:

‘Firstly, thank you so much for doing this podcast! I find it incredibly easy to listen to, full of practical tips to help my child and very informative. While we don't have an official diagnosis yet, my three-year-old son ticks many of the ASD boxes as well as having a bit of a PDA spiky profile. I knew something wasn’t quite right when he was a year old, but pushed it to the back of my mind until it became obvious.

Struggles with food, sleep issues, needing deep pressure hugs and weighted blankets, problems socialising, very sensitive hearing and huge problems with transitions — the list goes on! Luckily, his speech and language hasn’t been affected apart from a bit of echolalia when he’s excited or stressed.

I just wanted you both to know you’ve become a lifeline to me with tips that actually work. Please keep going ladies! One not-so-stressed-out mom thanks to you both. Thank you for being open, honest and willing to share. It makes the world of difference to know we aren’t alone.

Victoria Bennion:

Thanks so much, Kirsty and t. If Kirsty's words resonated with you, do know

that there are so many of us walking this path together, and like Kirsty, if

you'd ever like to share your story with us, big or small, we'd love to hear

from you. [00:01:00 ] Right?

Natalie Tealdi: How

was your summer?

Victoria Bennion: Our

summer was really good for, I'm trying to think, four weeks. Yeah, our summer

was really good for about four weeks. I know we, we, so we have our opposite

experiences, don't we? So mine was nice and light until about a week and a half

ago, I would say.

Victoria Bennion: And

that's when for one of my children, the anxiety of back to school starts.

Natalie Tealdi: And

then what does that look like?

Victoria Bennion: Do

you know the first signs probably was that he started talking about how he

wasn't going back, isn't going back. Quite graphic really, and it is not just,

I'd rather not go with back, it's, I'd rather die than go back.

Victoria Bennion:

That kind of extreme, language stopped eating dinner. So you can see all the

signs that the anxiety's really rising in him.

Natalie Tealdi: It's

great he's communicating it though, isn't it?

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah it's really great that he's not holding it all [00:02:00 ]

in. And then the other ways that shows up is.

Victoria Bennion:

That the things he was coping really well with for those four weeks, when it

was summer, holiday day, bliss, you know, all the pressure's off and he was

happy. I think I talked about in the previous episode, we'd managed to go to a

normal screening at the cinema and we'd managed to go out and about quite a

bit.

Victoria Bennion:

Things that he wanted to, but he was chatty, sociable. Coping with things

better than normal. So it was quite hard to see that anxiety for him come back

hard. I booked another trip to the cinema. There were things I did wrong here,

there was another film he wanted to see the Jurassic World Rebirth film.

Victoria Bennion: I

thought we would give that a go and I thought. It's almost like it lulls you

into a false sense of security. We did it once. We're on a roll, if this is all

okay now, no, it's not all okay now, and it's a [00:03:00 ]

different day and it's a different week. So all the preparation that I did that

first time to get him into the cinema, I shortcutted it.

Victoria Bennion: I

suppose. I didn't give enough notice. It wasn't on the calendar. Even though we

discussed it verbally, it wasn't on the calendar so he couldn't see it. So that

gave him an issue to start with. We booked the seats, but we only booked them

the day before. We did look again at the map and choose the seats, but when it

came to the day, he was obviously feeling very anxious because as far as he's

concerned, school's now approaching, and so it made everything worse.

Victoria Bennion:

That morning he said, I can't go. I want to go, but I can't go. So I had to do

a lot of coaxing. Got into the car, got to car park, couldn't get out of the

car. Lot of coaxing got into the cinema, collected the drinks, got up to the

screen, [00:04:00 ] couldn't go through the door

to the screen. He did.

Victoria Bennion:

Eventually, all I said was. Try it. It's the same seats, it's the same screen

that we went to a couple of weeks ago. Same rule if you're not coping, if you

want to leave, we can leave. One of the things that he said to me. I won't be

able to tell you if I'm not coping.

Victoria Bennion: I

will just sit there and feel really bad and that is something that I know that

he struggles with. It's the internalizing it and he'll go into freeze and it's

not always obvious to anybody else.

Natalie Tealdi: Do

you know,

Victoria Bennion: I

would look for signs that he wasn't responding or I was gonna say biting nails.

That's fairly common. That's something he would do. It doesn't necessarily mean

he was at that really awful shutdown point. I hope I would know I was keeping a

close eye on him, but he was okay.

Victoria Bennion:

Luckily once we got in there, he was enjoying the film. It was more, he was

talking to me about the plot the whole way through and I was [00:05:00 ] like, say not too loud. So it was okay,

but after that he said he was never leaving the house again, so we were back

to, that's more of a normal pattern that I see unfortunately in his anxiety.

Victoria Bennion: He

did that, but there was absolutely no way he was contemplating leaving the

house. I actually started to f