In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're reflecting on the Panorama documentary, EHCPs and everyday struggles from socks to lunch boxes.

Key Takeaways

The reality behind EHCPs – why the process can be emotionally draining, time-consuming, and often leaves families feeling powerless.

When inclusion isn’t inclusion – the difference between being in school and actually being supported to thrive.

The ripple effect of sensory struggles – how something as small as socks or a change in routine can unravel a whole morning.

Food battles and 'safe foods' – understanding why eating can be so complex for autistic children and why parents shouldn’t face judgment for feeding what works.

Navigating seasonal changes – how weather, clothing, and sensory shifts can bring new challenges for children who rely on predictability.

The need for empathy over judgment – whether it’s food, clothes, or school attendance, understanding should always come before criticism.

Mentioned in This Episode

BBC Panorama Documentary: Autism, School and Families on the Edge presented by Kellie Bright

EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plans) - learn more here

ARFID and sensory-based eating challenges - learn more here

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Transcript

This Week in Our World:

Reflecting on Panorama, EHCPs and Everyday Struggles [00:00:00 ]

Victoria Bennion:

This week we watched Kelly Bright's Panorama documentary called Autism School

and Families on the Edge, and it was really interesting watching. So we wanted

to take today to reflect on the program and chat about things in general that

have come up for us and our children

Victoria Bennion: .

so what did you think about the program? Nat.

Natalie Tealdi: I

thought it was really great to give. Exposure about the issues of EHCPs. I

mean, it was largely based around EHCPs, wasn't it? And it definitely brought

back lots of memories. I think it's that, that place where you are at, where

you don't really know much about what's going on and you're kind of trying to

work out how to support your child.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: the

right environment is for them, getting them the right support, not really

knowing what that support is or what even are the options for support.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right. It's a really stressful time. And I think that it, hopefully, it

highlighted that it's quite a lengthy process and that it requires quite a lot

of you as [00:01:00 ] parents and carers being

on it with all the dates. And then even when you get a yes, if you get a yes at

certain points, like, yes, we agree to assess your child, it's, you're not

necessarily then going to get the plan that your child needs.

Victoria Bennion: So

with the family there? And , it had named mainstream. That was, that was

totally familiar to me. That's what happened with my first child going through

the process and he was barely attending school. And it brought back for me

those feelings, those memories of like, oh my God, what, we've just been

through all this.

Victoria Bennion: And

you are saying, well, they basically said good luck at middle school. It's like

he can't even get into first school. How have you written a whole plan and put

mainstream? So I did really feel for them. I think it was a really accurate

depiction of the process

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

I mean, very similar for us too. , It's clearly the setting isn't working and

you do all the paperwork and all the fighting and all the meetings

Victoria Bennion: all

the assessments.

Natalie Tealdi: then

it comes back with the same place that they're not coping at. I mean, that [00:02:00 ] doesn't even make any sense. It is just so

frustrating,

Victoria Bennion: ,

It's a very tiring process.

Natalie Tealdi: And

you can feel really powerless. I think that's something they highlighted in the

documentary 'cause. Yeah, you have to learn about all the processes and the

laws and what you're entitled to, and it's exhausting.

Victoria Bennion: It

is exhausting, and especially on top of when you're trying to look after your

children charge the EHCP for everything is not well, otherwise you wouldn't be

doing it. So you've got that on top of everything. And then holding the local

authority to their deadlines is my experience of, Hey, it's the X date.

Victoria Bennion: Is

there any news on this yet?

Natalie Tealdi:

exactly. You can't just sort of hand it over to them and expect it all to run

smoothly into time. You have to be there nudging them.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, it's horrible actually. It's extra stress that parents don't need. So I

thought that was depicted really well. There was one, one thing that really

struck me as being potentially really divisive. I [00:03:00 ]

don't know if it struck you too, but it was when she was speaking to that

counselor.

Victoria Bennion:

They were referencing the amount of money that's needed to support our

children, and she said something along the lines of like, this is money that.

Natalie Tealdi: I

know what you're gonna say.

Victoria Bennion: Is

now not going to road repairs. It was something like that, wasn't it? And I

thought, Ooh, , that felt to me like quite deliberately divisive. Like, Hey, ,

these send families are taking all the money. That's why there's potholes in

the road. And it was almost like pitting. Sections of society against each

Victoria Bennion:

other.

Natalie Tealdi: That

is exactly how I felt listening to that as well. I thought, hang on a minute,

what? That could definitely create some interesting situations.

Victoria Bennion: And

I think it's probably deliberately designed to, dad was saying there was

something he read about parents wanting EHCPs to get their children more exam

time or something for GCSEs, [00:04:00 ] and I

went, what , I dunno about you, but certainly at the point that we're going for

an EHCP GCSEs are just not even in the mind.

Victoria Bennion:

It's getting your child into a setting that's appropriate. I mean, I wasn't

even thinking about GCSEs when my child was eight.

Natalie Tealdi:

Quality of life

Victoria Bennion:

yeah, exactly. You don't want them to be in this terrible state that they're

in, and you want the best for them. It's certainly not in my experience of

anybody I've met either that that's on their mind.

Natalie Tealdi: Where

does that come from? I don't know anyone like that. , It is more that people

are worried about their child's mental health and, the state of their health

generally, and being able to be in the world and cope in the world and have a

bright future. 'cause they still should have a

Natalie Tealdi:

bright future.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: And I

think one thing that came up for me was when there was the mum, I think the

daughter at mum actually, when her child did manage to go into school, and they

were all celebrating the fact that she got to go in that day. But I just [00:05:00 ] thought, but how did that day go? Because

I was just remembering when my child went into school, I would be by my phone

trying to work and sometimes it would ring and it would be the school saying

he's not coping and he needs picking up.

Natalie Tealdi: And I

was thinking, how did she feel that day and how, and how was it when her child

got home? Was she okay or was it difficult that