In today’s episode, of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria is hosting solo as Nat is home with an unwell little one. She’s joined by the wonderful Carla Wainwright, a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who supports parents and couples navigating the stress, overwhelm, and emotional load that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support.

Carla Wainwright's Biography

Carla Wainwright is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who helps parents and couples navigate the stress, disconnection, and overwhelm that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support. With a graduate degree in biological sciences, a 4-year practitioner diploma in Homeopathy and Heilkunst, and over 25 years as an embodied yoga teacher, Carla blends science, somatic practice, and coaching to guide couples in rekindling intimacy, deepening connection, and restoring shared purpose. Her compassionate, practical approach creates space for parents to thrive - both individually and together—while walking alongside their child’s unique health journey.

Key Takeaways

• Many relationship challenges stem from the fact that none of us were taught how to stay connected when life feels overwhelming.
• Parenting a neurodivergent or high-needs child can magnify existing patterns of disconnection within a couple.
• Emotional exhaustion and nervous system overload often show up as distance, irritability, or feeling like “roommates” instead of partners.
• Co-regulation—calming your nervous systems together—is often the first gentle step toward rebuilding intimacy.
• Small, simple practices like sitting side-by-side, holding hands, or breathing together can create emotional safety.
• Clear and compassionate communication, especially using “I” language, helps both people feel heard rather than blamed.
• Loving, well-expressed boundaries can strengthen a relationship rather than push partners apart.
• Prioritising your relationship supports the whole household
• Understanding each partner’s unique coping style can ease misunderstandings and reduce conflict.
• The path back to connection starts with nervous system regulation—first for yourself, and then with each other.

Connect with Carla

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlawainwright/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarlaWainwrightCreatrix/

Website: https://www.carlawainwright.com/

Free Gift: The Connected Way Forward – Carla’s free 3-minute connection practice for couples, designed to gently rebuild closeness even when life feels overwhelming

https://www.carlawainwright.com/connected-way-forward

Connect with The Autism Mums

Website  https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Transcript

Rebuilding Relationships While Supporting Neurodivergent

Children with Carla Wainwright

[00:00:00 ]

Victoria Bennion:

Hello and welcome. It's Victoria and I'm on my own today as Nat has an ill

child, but I'm grateful to be joined by our guest, Carla Wayne Wright. Carla is

a holistic wellness coach and relationship transformation specialist who helps

parents and couples find their way through the stress and emotional load that

comes with supporting a child whose development or health needs are a little

different.

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome to the podcast, Carla. It's great to have you here with us today.

Carla Wainwright: Oh,

I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you.

Victoria Bennion: How

did you get into this line of work? I wonder if you Could talk to us about your

own journey.

Carla Wainwright:

Sure. Yeah. So, you know, my background actually started in science, so I

worked for many years as a wildlife biologist. I always had like a deep passion

for nature and animals, and I began to shift into homeopathy and holistic

health. As a result of, you know, my own healing journey. And when I was

practicing as a homeopath, you know, I was working with families who had

children with complex or neurodivergent needs and, you know, [00:01:00 ] parents is usually the mother would come

in, of course wanting to support the child, but it became really clear to me,

of course, there was this immense stress that the parents were carrying and

that the stress was showing up in the family dynamic and also in the

relationship. And so I would always encourage the mother to get support and,

and treatment as well because,

Carla Wainwright: it,

the mother's falling apart. It's so hard for her to support her, her child, and

her family. And so over time, I did this for quite a while and then in my own

journey , of healing my own trauma, I became a sex, love and relationship

coach. And that worked naturally expanded to supporting women and couples.

Carla Wainwright: And

I have a deep. Passion to support couples, to reconnect to , their intimacy, ,

their connection, their emotional resilience. I, I really feel that. You know,

the container of the couple., It's like this beautiful, sacred container for

growth and evolution. But we're not taught how to do this.

Carla Wainwright:

Relationships [00:02:00 ] can be beautiful and

powerful and deeply challenging, and that's even without all the extra

responsibilities of, of parenting and caregiving. One of my passions is

supporting couples to, strip off some of those layers of their own hurt

experiences or traumas to really connect back to one another in the ways that

brought them together in the first place so that their relationship and their

families can flourish.

Carla Wainwright: We

all wanna thrive. But often we need support to be able to do that. So it, it

is, it's one of my great joys to be able to support couples on that path and in

turn, really allow their families and their childrens to thrive as well.

Victoria Bennion: Oh,

that's lovely. What are some of the common challenges that you see couples

facing when they're raising a child who needs extra support?

Carla Wainwright:

Yeah, so this is something that. Many, many couples deal with. And you know,

actually I would say that couples who may not even have children face all kinds

of challenges. And, um, I think I'd like to preface this [00:03:00 ] by, by saying, I, I feel like

relationships are something that we're just supposed to magically know how to

do without any training.

Carla Wainwright:

And, uh, the reality is, is that most of us didn't, we weren't necessarily

modeled great relationships in our families, like I certainly wasn't. Some of

us were lucky to have parents who modeled great relationships, but it's not the

norm. And then of course we have culture and just society modeling, not always

healthy relationships.

Carla Wainwright: So

we're somehow just supposed to magically know how to navigate relationships and

have a thriving partnership that is able to weather all kinds of storms and

challenges. And the reality is, is that we don't really have. That base. So I

always come to, you know, the idea of relationships with a lot of compassion

because.

Carla Wainwright:

Often the starting point is that we actually don't really know how to stay

connected, especially when things are difficult. So if we layer on top of that

parenting a child who needs extra support, this really then can amplify [00:04:00 ] a lot of preexisting patterns of

disconnection that might be already.

Carla Wainwright:

Present in a relationship. And you know, there's so many challenges that

couples can face. So of course there's the emotional exhaustion, nervous system

overload. You know, parents are running on empty living in fight or flight

mode. And then we can layer on top of that for women. As they move into their

later thirties and forties all of the perimenopausal symptoms, which are also

exacerbating stress responses and hormone fluctuations and make everything in

life that much more difficult.

Carla Wainwright: Um.

Other challenges that parents face are, you know, there's an uneven load. Often

one parent is taking on more of the emotional, logistical, or therapeutic care

and that can create , more distance. And you know, when that distance really

begins to take hold, the identity of the couple. Begins to become lost and the

couple really starts to function more in like