Build Good Habits For a Growth Mindset

[show open]

Frendhel: Having self discipline allows you to grow as a person and, not only that, it changes your perspective, it changes your attitude for the better. And what I’ve learned is that because of this, everything around me has changed for the better. If you drive on discipline, you know it has to be done, because it’s good for you, and you think about why you’re doing it – you’re gonna get up and do it. No excuses.

[show intro]

Lois Paula: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you, to highlight how kindness moves.

Nan: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good, it’s contagious. You might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community or you just love the feeling of doing good.

Lois Paula: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We’re your hosts LP and Nan. Now studies show that in order for a habit to form it takes repetition and a constant conscious effort. Right?

Nan: Yeah and so in today’s discussion we’ll focus not just on any habits but creating good habits for a growth mindset – how an attitude of gratitude, most especially, can impact our daily mindset and help us focus on the good, so we can do good for ourselves and those around us.

Lois Paula: Right. And so for today’s discussion, we will get tips from someone who consistently uses her online presence or digital footprint ,so to say, to spread positivity. So let’s welcome, from Washington State — she is a dental professional by day, and by night she’s not just a mom of two or a fitness enthusiast, a coach; she is also a producer, a correspondent, a content creator with Eagle Broadcasting Corporation and its many motivational segments, let’s welcome Frendhel Fejeran, otherwise known as Den Den. 

Nan: Hi Frendhel.

Lois Paula: Hey Frendhel.

Frendhel: Hey what’s good  LP and Nan? How are you guys?

Lois Paula: It’s good to have you.

Nan: Great, doing great, doing great. You know, LP I think in your intro you said, “by day and by night”, but I think by super early morning she’s like the workout queen right?, I think that’s what, what she is.

Lois Paula: You’re awake at dark o’clock. 

Frendhel: Dark o’clock, that is correct. That is correct. And I’m just really excited to be here on this podcast with you guys. And I don’t think, I mean I love fitness – I wouldn’t quite say that I’m the fitness queen. Although I love fitness and I can be a queen, so I guess you’re right. 

Nan: Perfect. Perfect. That’s perfect. We’re so excited to have you here with us, this past year has changed a lot of our perspectives and it’s really given us an opportunity to reflect, to reevaluate our goals right? And of course we all know we’re, we’re to varying degrees of isolation so we’ve really been put in positions to self motivate. So, if you can, Frendhel, help us understand firstly, what is a growth mindset?

Frendhel: So a growth mindset – what I’ve learned how to define it for myself, is being aware that everything that you encounter in life and everything that you experienced, there is a life lesson. So be willing to learn from every experience for self growth and to improve.

Lois Paula:  I love that and I like how you said what you’ve learned from you, because there’s so many definitions in the world right now, but just as you are discussing it, it’s how you’re taking it in, your perspective so that you can personally have your growth, you can apply it to your own life. And you know, you are also – yes, you are a fitness enthusiast, you’re a content creator for many motivational segments, but you know speaking of fitness, that in itself is just a big deal in terms of motivation. You consistently share your wellness journey online with your friends and family, which we know it isn’t easy. So how important to you is self discipline and self motivation? How have you made this a habit? 

Frendhel: So first I had to think to myself – what are the results of being disciplined? What is the benefit of it and why is this important for myself – not only for myself but for my family? And so when I’ve defined that and for me it’s, being able to work out and having self discipline allows you to grow as a person and, not only that, it changes your perspective, it changes your attitude for the better. And what I’ve learned is that because of this, everything around me has changed for the better. And so when I think about that, think about the positive change, I don’t rely on motivation to get me to the gym or to get me to work out. I rely on discipline. Because if you only rely on motivation, like there will be days where you’re like, “Man I don’t feel like working out. I’m too tired.”, you know? And if you always listen to that voice, you ain’t ever gonna work out, at least not on a consistent basis. You know what I mean? You’ll go work out once a week, twice a week. 

Lois Paula: AKA myself. Yeah.

Frendhel: If you drive on discipline, you know it has to be done, because it’s good for you, and you think about why you’re doing it – you’re gonna get up and do it. No excuses. But at the same time, you have to be forgiving, right? Because you just can’t go because mama life takes over, other duties take over, all your other responsibilities and then at that point, you know, you just have to be aware of what is your current priority right now, and be okay with not doing what you had planned to do. Self discipline for sure is, for me, most important.

Nan: That’s really cool to hear, the self discipline portion and how you kind of explained, even motivation. So do you see that the discipline, kind of, applies to other aspects of your life now? Like you’re more disciplined, you know, in anything else – it’s increased your discipline?

Frendhel: Most definitely. And thank you so much for that question. So, every aspect of my life – so I’ll give you an example. One is food. Don’t we love food? Right?

Nan: I do, I do.

Frendhel: Comfort food…

Frendhel: Oh yeah you know how people say they have a sweet tooth. 

Lois Paula: Oh yeah.

Frendhel: I have sweet teeth. Like, I love sweets. I love carbs.

Lois Paula: And you are, for how many decades, you know, in the dentistry field? 

Frendhel: So I just have to be like, you know, I have to make these changes. I have to be choosy and very selective of what I eat because of my health. So, health-wise, with food choices, discipline has played a huge role in me. I’m not telling you I’m perfect and I’m not telling you that I always make the right decision, but at least I made a conscious effort to make the right decision for my health, ultimately for my family. And another one is checking emails, and responding to them. So I learned in my job, that’s something that I have to do. And so knowing that I have to do it, even though I don’t want to do it. Because I do it consistently, regularly, I’m now applying that with my personal life and my personal emails. And so just, you know, things like that, but truly you can apply that with everything – your faith, as a mom, as a neighbor, as a family member, a sister, a niece, everything. There’s a home for self-discipline.

Nan: Right, definitely, and you know it’s interesting because once, once you have that discipline and you apply it to your life it’s like you’re just creating good habits. We know how important creating good habits are, it sets us up for success right so what about tips. What are some ways you stay motivated to keep moving?

Lois Paula: Yes because we need your energy Frendhel. 

Frendhel: Podcast hugs! So some tips, being forgiving, for one, right? Just forgive yourself and make room for regress. Like, be aware that you are going to fall back. But when you fall back, you have to remember that it’s only prepping you for a come back. Right? So with every fall back there’s a come back. And when it comes to the habits, you can, be realistic. Okay, so for example for me this year, my goal is to develop new 12 healthy habits this year. I’m not going to try and develop 12 habits at one time. Because I know that’s just gonna stress me out. You know, in a life of mindfulness and just mental wellness, I’m not going to stress myself out when I don’t need to. So I’m just going to choose one skill or one habit that I’m gonna work on for an entire month. Because as you know right, they say, depending on what you read, it’s either 21 days or 27 days of consistency where you will build a habit. So why not dedicate one month to one habit? Right? And so, for me, my first one is proper skincare before you fall asleep at night. That was January and, oh man, I was so good, so good for 20 days. And then that one da