Growing Up and Living with Compassion

[show music intro]

Natalie Fitzpatrick: I think kindness is probably the one thing that kept me grounded. You can be that beacon for yourself, if you just remind yourself that, you know, you have these values to return to at the end of the day so even if things get messy, like things go wrong in your life, knowing that you did something good for someone else, knowing that you did something good in general, even for yourself– putting good out there is not going to bring bad back to you. Like there’s no harm in radiating that light.

LP Riturban: Whether you’re hoping to heal the world or heal yourself, this podcast is here for you to highlight how kindness moves.

Nan Zapanta: Moves you to take action, yourself, or just makes you feel something so good it’s contagious, you know, you might have been touched by a simple act of kindness, you might want tips on how you can act now in your community, or you just love the feeling of doing good.

LP: Welcome to Kindness Moves, a new podcast brought to you by the INC Giving Project. We are your hosts, LP and Nan. Now Nan, in a previous conversation we discussed the importance of teaching kindness to kids. So, well what about after the kid phase. What about the tweens and the teens, the young adulthood and beyond?

Nan: Yeah you know that that previous conversation that we had with Teresa, it was a great one. You know I learned a lot in our talk with Teresa and I really really enjoyed that conversation. But yeah you’re right LP, you know, what about the “kid phase”? What about beyond that kid phase? Where do we go from there?

LP : When I look back at my teenage years, I remember so many of my peers, you know, finding it challenging to decipher what’s important, what’s cool, you know, not just now, but what’s valuable even in the future? Gosh, when we were teens, we couldn’t even think about the future; all our minds were, were focused on is, “what is today?”,  “what’s happening today?”. So, is that even a possibility for us to think about how what we do today affects tomorrow in five, ten years from now, you know? So today we will hear from a young professional who actually has been with the INC Giving Project, as an INC Giving Volunteer, when the project first started back in 2011. She was only 15 back then. But even now, she continues to actively volunteer and share acts of kindness. So let’s welcome Natalie Fitzpatrick from Vancouver, British Columbia. Hello, Natalie.

Nan: Hi Natalie.

Natalie: Hi. 

LP: Good to have you here.

Natalie: Good to hear from you guys again. 

LP: Yay.

Nan: Yeah, totally. We’ve been excited to, to have this conversation with you. You know LP and I have been looking forward to it. So thank you so much for joining us.

Natalie: Thank you for having me.

Nan: We’ve spoken in the past and it’s clear that you, you are a very kind person. So, as you know, today we’re talking about how it’s cool to be kind, no matter what age. Kindness, it really is timeless, so maybe we can start from the beginning: how can you recall from your childhood, what is it that instilled in your childhood such a strong passion to help others and to be kind?

Natalie: Thinking back, I think it all starts really with my mom, like your parents are your first example of kindness, and what it means to show that to different people. Growing up, there were things taught to us and things that people read about all the time like love languages and how one of those things could be like receiving gifts or giving gifts if that’s the way that you express yourself, and I think the same can be said for kindness even. 

I think with my family, especially growing up, my mom didn’t grow up with a lot so she had a pretty poor childhood growing up in the Philippines, she lived on a farm. So, to her, she always expressed the value of things, and how I should be grateful growing up that I had so much more than she ever had, or that my experiences were never as difficult as hers had been. 

So, her first lesson to me would be treat people with compassion, because you don’t know where they came from. You don’t know their backstory, so everyone deserves to feel that kindness or that love from somebody, regardless of what your relationship is like with them. 

LP: I love that. That’s said beautifully and I’m grateful to your mom and it’s so awesome like, like Nan said, in our previous discussion, we talked about, you know the impact that parents can have on their kids and so now here you are, a kid who directly received that from, you know your parents and you’re like you said, they’re your first example. So thank you to our parents for all that you did and have done and are doing for us.

Nan: Yeah, I agree with you. My mom, when I think back, you know, she was such an inspiring and strong person and, and really influenced me a lot. And even when I think about it like my mom influenced me as far as even my like my faith and even having the duties that I have. She was a big influence even in that sense and that kind of led, and fed into kindness. Was that kind of your similar experience too?

Natalie: I would say so. I think one of the things about her, pushing or advocating, advocating for kindness and compassion all the time is that I have a younger brother. So growing up, like, obviously when I was really young I was very very greedy and selfish, until he came along.

LP: And then we get a life lesson.

Natalie: Exactly, big life lesson having a younger brother, and at that point I think it all started with, you know, you need to learn how to share, and that, that stems from, yeah with your family, but then when you go out into the world too, sharing your faith is huge too. So kindness doesn’t just come from physical things like giving a gift to somebody, or even, just helping them with something that they need, like maybe you’re helping them pick up their groceries or bring stuff inside when they get home.

LP: But just listening to someone. 

Natalie: Yeah, exactly, just listening, checking in on people, even if you haven’t talked to them in a year or more, just saying hi and asking them how they’re doing, even though you don’t know what’s going on. I think that inspired me to, I think, be more social, which is also what pushed me to be stronger in faith. Because taking up some of the duties that I have, my responsibility is to do check-ins with people, make sure that they’re alright, and if they’re not, offer ways that I can help them. Even if I might not have the solution right here and now. 

LP: Yeah, you will find a solution, or we’ll pray for one. 

Natalie: Exactly.

LP: So Natalie when you look back at it all, why was it so important that these values were deeply rooted, even at a young age? Maybe someone will wake up and they’ll learn it in their 20s or 30s; but you, having seen the value of it, being deeply rooted in a young age–how is that important, how could things be, maybe, different if they weren’t deeply rooted, when you were young? 

Natalie: Well I’m going to, I’ll be honest with you, I was not always this nice. 

LP: I don’t think anyone is. We’re human. We try.

Natalie: I really think like growing up, even though our parents try their best to teach us the right way, or tell us how to act, or give us examples of situations we might end up in where we need to be more considerate, or think about the consequences, obviously as a teenager, you’re not thinking about those things like you said earlier, I think it does come to a point though where you go through these life experiences and you realize, or you put yourself in situations where like I could use some help, or I wish there had been a person there for me for this situation, or maybe it would have been nice to have somebody check in on me or help me out when I could have used a hand. So, I think learning that at a young age, and then having to go through those things on your own–as you get older you reflect on that and you think to yourself, well, if I’m not receiving that help, or if I’m not receiving that kindness from somebody else, I can be the person putting that out there for someone that might be in my shoes right now, or where I was before. So I think having that mindset from a young age, even though you don’t experience it right away–when you get old enough to understand where that’s coming from, it makes a huge difference in your life. 

LP: Yeah, absolutely. I think even just knowing that we all need help, acknowledging that, you know, especially in this world today, everyone is on this independent, kind of, you know, DIY this, do it yourself that, learn how to do this and how many days–like it’s, it’s a very independent society. But we all, at the root level, are humans and we need someone; and it’s always inspiring to know that there is someone on the other end, willing to be there and to care for us and to help us even if, like we said earl