In this podcast Karen shares the secrets of how to truly forgive. Family dynamics can be complicated and it is wonderful to know that you can give yourself the gift of forgiveness no matter what the other person has done or is doing.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (New Living Translation)

Sandy grew up with a neglectful Dad and an abusive Mom. After her Dad's untimely death she reached out to her Mom only to discover that she was in the beginning stages of dementia. She had been working on forgiveness for many years and made a startling decision - she moved her into her own home. Unfortunately, the dementia only became worse and at one point she had to make the tough decision to put her home into a full-time facility as she would wander off while Sandy was at work. Still, she would go pick her up and take her to the park.

I'll never forget the text I got from her where she was having so much fun as her Mom observed the squirrels and enjoyed her visit. The forgetfulness was a gift to both of them because Sandy had fully forgiven and wanted to change the end of their story.

Here are three important parts of forgiving:

1. Forgive those who have wronged you.
The first step in forgiving is to acknowledge that someone has wronged you. Bring the hidden into the open rather than pretending that everything is okay.

2. Choose to forgive so you can be free from a prison of bitterness.
Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself so you can stop thinking about the situation. It's the sample prayer that Jesus gave us in the Lord's prayer. You ask your Heavenly Father to forgive you the way you forgive others. You release the anger, acknowledge it and forgive.

3. Speak kind words.
Unforgiveness hardens your heart.
She conducts her conversation with wisdom and the speaking of kindness is every her concern. Proverbs 31:26
Pass on a legacy of kindness to future generations. No matter how wrong another person is, it is never right to be unkind.
Reframe unkind words and find out where these feelings are coming from.
Avoid martyrdom by listing all the blessings this difficult person provides for you.

How is forgiveness working for you?

Would love to hear if this episode has helped you in any way.

What other topics do you want me to talk about?

For the other topics in the ABCs of Self-Care for Caregivers series, please check out the following podcasts:

A - Accept Your Role with Honor

B - Bounce Back with Hope

C - Celebrate Everything

D - Dance with Abandon

E - Eat Right and Enjoy Every Bite

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