Do everything without complaining. Philippians 2:14 NLT

Here is an excerpt from my book, The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride.

The details of my late husband’s (Bill) last doctor’s appointment are indelibly engraved in my memory. It was a routine visit with the pulmonologist to check Bill’s oxygen levels. In our past appointments, this doctor had been pleased that Bill’s lungs were still strong even though his diaphragm no longer functioned. The full-time ventilator pushed the air in and out of his lungs via a c-Pap mask over his face.

“Mr. Sebastian, I must insist that you get a tracheostomy,” the doctor said grimly.

With no hesitation, Bill signed N – O, and then very deliberately grabbed his marker and wrote, “NO.” It was the size of the entire white board we had taken in so that he could communicate with the medical staff.

“I respect that, Mr. Sebastian,” acknowledged the doctor. “I just want you to know that as your doctor it is my duty to let you know the risk you take by not having this procedure done.”

“Wait just a minute, honey,” I said quickly. “Hear out what the doctor is telling us.”

The doctor went on to explain that because of the lack of muscle tone in his face due to the type of Muscular Dystrophy and the continual flow of air through the mask it was more and more difficult for the oxygen levels to stay at optimum levels.

I don’t remember much else about that doctor’s appointment. I felt angry and frustrated.

The following week, Bill woke up on Heaven. He was healed and my caregiving role ended abruptly.

I look back on that time in my life with regret for the missed opportunities to grow and praise God for what I had rather than bemoan the way my life had turned out. I was in a dark place because I had yet to grasp the truth that as a Hope Ambassador I could set the tone for my surroundings by my response to the challenges of my life.

Active Self-Care

Eliminate absolutes like never and always
There are many things that challenge us in the caregiving role. This admonition is not about denying the difficulties but rather looking for solutions. The challenge with focusing with absolutes is that they blow up the bridges to solutions leaving you entrenched in a victim mentality where you are less likely to reach a solution.

Replace complaints with praise
We live in a society that loves to grumble and complain. We now have a whole new platform on Social Media to identify with what we are against. We have those who will jump on the band wagon and agree with us in our objections and laments. The problem with this approach is that it leaves us angrier and more frustrated than ever. More importantly, we miss opportunities to bless and serve fully.

Flip the situation
One of my favorite sayings is “On the positive side…” It’s great to acknowledge the challenge rather than to pretend that everything is fine when it is not. God has a good plan for you even though you may not see it right now. Ask for wisdom from others. It may seem like this season will never end but it always does.

Prayer
Lord, I am just so tired right now. I need you to energize me with the des

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