Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose. Proverbs 18:21 MSG

I used to hate Mondays. I guess I was like most people I worked with, except that I complained about it a lot. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that I hated my job, my husband was ill, our oldest daughter was going crazy, I had been diagnosed with lupus AND my mother-in-love was living with us and I became a very reluctant caregiver (more about that on this podcast). If you are a caregiver you may feel overwhelmed right now.

You may be caught in a negative downward spiral of complaints and negativity that is making matters worse. Your words are killing you – literally!

Have you noticed that, instead of feeling better after a bitter complaint, you actually feel worse? This scripture confirms the reason for that. You get to choose your words. You get to choose your attitude.
Active Self-Care

Embrace the power of your words
Your words set the stage for your life. They establish the atmosphere and openness of those around you. There are many verses in the Bible that express how powerful your words are. The one used at the top of this post is one of the most powerful especially in the MESSAGE paraphrase. How exciting that you get to choose life-giving words rather than poisoning the atmosphere!
Assignment: Identify the poison words that you are using and write them down. Instead of trying to stop yourself from saying them,  replace them with life-giving words.

Flip your negative expressions
Eliminate the word “hate” from your vocabulary. Other expressions to avoid are those that include the word “death” as in, “I died laughing” or “I thought I would die.” This is harder than you think because you have adopted these sayings and may not realize you are saying them.
Assignment: Make a list of the negative expressions you are using and replace them with positive affirmations.

Modify your self-talk
As I started the journey of examining my words, I became more aware of what I mumbled under my breath. Things like, “That was dumb” or “How stupid can you be” were frequent. Be your own best friend and say kind things to yourself. You don’t need anger for motivation.
Assignment: Take note of your negative self-talk and replace the phrases with positive ones.

Prayer
Lord, I ask You to take my weakness and make me strong in You. I choose today to recognize who You say I am. I am Your daughter/son and I will treat myself that way. I choose to speak life over every difficult situation and person in my life today. I am grateful that I can love what You are doing in and through me.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Here are more letters of the ABCs of Self-Care for Caregivers - so far:

A-Accept Your Role with Honor
B-Bounce Back with Hope
C-Celebrate Everything
D - Dance with Abandon
E - Eat Right and Enjoy

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