Short Cuts waterboarded with sno-cone syrup...Love Actually from factory-irregular parts...a catastrophically premature Magnolia...it's Playing By Heart, which is 40 minutes too long, coy about a meaningless end reveal, and contains very few believable situations or lines of dialogue. How desperate is Angelina Jolie to get a reaction from her wooden scene partner? Why is James Bond obliged to deliver Intercourse PA jokes that are beneath even SDB? Why in god's name didn't Quaid and Anthony Edwards swap roles? And will your co-hosts ever agree on whether Serious Ack-tor DQ has to poo...or can't poo? We're aligned on the poo levels of the film, at least; it's an all-new Quaid In Full.

Overall score: 3

QQQ score: 4.5

Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 14

SHOW NOTES

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• Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page


• Can YOU get past the first 27 seconds of The Dennissance?


• Stephen Holden's review in NYT


• G. Allen Johnson's in the SF Examiner


• Joe Neumaier's for EW


• Jonathan Bernstein's Pretty In Pink