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Semi-Together

Semi-Together
Author: Gillian Burgess and Melia Dicker
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© Gillian Burgess and Melia Dicker
Description
Semi-Together is a podcast by sisters Gillian Burgess and Melia Dicker about having some of your life together all of the time. It’s about working on where you want to get it together, while giving yourself credit for where you’ve got it together. As we learn to live with more calm, joy, and authenticity, we share takeaways from our research and experience that you can use, too.
Topics: Perfectionism, self-compassion, personal development, anxiety, stress, coping skills, psychology, goals, authenticity, vulnerability, ADHD, optimism, happiness, humor, joy, evolving, self-care, gratitude
Topics: Perfectionism, self-compassion, personal development, anxiety, stress, coping skills, psychology, goals, authenticity, vulnerability, ADHD, optimism, happiness, humor, joy, evolving, self-care, gratitude
102 Episodes
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We’re back from a hiatus, during which a lot has happened on every level of our lives: individually, in our communities, and in the world. In this episode, we’re discussing a question that comes up all the time these days: How do we cope when it’s all just too much? We’ll share how we’ve been managing through overwhelm with the challenges that keep on coming: what’s been helpful, what hasn’t, and what we’ve been trying, Related Semi-Together episodes:Ep. 44: Pressing the Reset ButtonEp. 65: How to Show Up for People in Tough TimesOther resources:Showing Up 101: 5 Ways to Be There for Your People (especially when it feels hard) - Kate Bowler---Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/semitogetherFacebook: https://facebook.com/semitogetherBook a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom, 1:1 and in a membership group for women with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
In this episode, we discuss how to acknowledge (vs "celebrate") emotionally complex anniversaries of life-altering challenges, like serious illness or loss. How do we process these events? What kinds of rituals help us through the peaks and valleys that accompany them?
We talk with Tara Blumenthal, owner of Tara Yoga Movement and Wellness Clinic, about her experiences moving through difficult anniversaries. We’ll also share some insights from our Semi-Together patrons and other loved ones who’ve been through their own challenging anniversaries.
*Note that this episode contains mature language and deals with complex topics like major illness and death, with a brief mention of self-harm.
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Links:
Tara Blumenthal:
Instagram: @notyouraverageyogateacher / @mellowkissroyals
Tara Yoga & Wellness Clinic in Flowood, MS:
@tarayogaclinic
www.tarayogamovementandwellnessclinic.com
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Happy New Year! To celebrate last year's wins and set intentions for this year, we each share three "Got It Together"s from 2023 and three "Get It Together"s for 2024. That is, three areas where we've made meaningful strides, and three areas where we would most like to progress.
Get It Together, Got It Together, is a segment we do in most episodes, where we share something that we’d like to work on and something that’s going well for us right now. We’ve found this framing helpful to remind us that at any given moment, there are things that are working for us as well as things that aren’t. It helps us find the wins -- especially on the days where it feels like everything is falling apart -- and helps us notice that all of it is constantly shifting.
We'd love to hear your 2023 "Got It Together"s and 2024 "Get It Together"s. You can them with us at podcast@semitogether.com.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
2023's new year's episode: Ep. 74: So This Is The New YearFor 2024, how about living a truly quiet life? (Susan Cain’s Substack: The Quiet Life
For ADHD Awareness Month, we talk with painter Ellen Langford about her ADHD journey and how it intertwines with her creative life. Ellen shares the gifts and challenges of neurodivergence as an artist and small business owner, and the strategies that help her thrive.
Ellen Langford is a painter whose body of work is inspired by landscapes, chance meetings, and the cross-currents of the South. As a former paramedic in central Mississippi, she was moved by the personal stories of her patients and the quiet rituals of their lives. Ellen has studied her craft in cities such as New York, San Francisco, DC, and Italy, among other places, but her work took on its recognizable narrative quality when she returned home to Jackson, Mississippi.
As a parent and animal lover, Ellen often incorporates children and animals into her paintings, color, movement, and texture to build the story worlds her figures inhabit.
You can find Ellen's work at ellenlangford.com, on Instagram at @ellenlangfordpaints, and Facebook at Ellen Langford Paints.
You can support Ellen's lifelong dream to hike the Appalachian Trail here.
Links:
Appalachian Trail Helene Recovery Resources & Updates
(AT Conservancy)
Chaos Theory: A Unified Theory of Muppet Types (Slate)
Hunters in a Farmer's World overview (Thom Hartmann)
ADHD Traits Might Have Helped Hunter-Gatherers Collect More Food While Foraging, Study Suggests (Smithsonian)
Ep. 43: Thriving with ADHD, with Dr. Michelle Frank
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
There’s rarely enough time in the day to do everything we want to. So how do we zone our time to reflect our priorities? We discuss strategies to sort out what we actually value, as well as experiments to build our schedules around these values.
Resources:
Big Rocks & Little Rocks priority setting (Stephen Covey video)
Previous episodes:
Ep. 86: What Makes You Feel Alive?
Ep 81: What Makes a Good Life?
Ep. 23: How to Make Time for What Fuels You
How to Make Time for What Fuels You downloadable workbook
Ep. 6: Prioritizing What Matters, Part 2
Ep. 5: Prioritizing What Matters, Part 1
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
We're back after a bit of a hiatus! We talk with Jeff Hamilton, our older biological half-brother, collectively telling the story of how we met as adults and became a big bonus family. This is the first time the three of us have talked about what this life-changing experience was like for each of us.
Jeff grew up in Livermore, California and lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Melissa and a menagerie of pets. Jeff is a project manager for Auto-Chlor whose interests include fostering rescue animals, woodworking, and travel. Jeff and Melissa have two children, Bryce and Haley.
The holiday season is beginning ... and it's a lot! We talk about how we’re approaching the season when our bandwidth is limited and our plates are full: gauging capacity, setting intentions, and communicating boundaries.
It’s spooky season, and we’re talking about how to find our just-right amount of thrills and chills -- what feels fun or engaging for each of us (eustress), and what’s too much (distress). The amount of challenge that we desire in each arena of life can differ quite a bit, depending on our individual nervous system and season of life. What’s brave for one of us can be too extreme for another, and only we can know for ourselves.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
What to Know About Eustress (VerywellMind)
Paul Rudd throws a clean-up tantrum in Wet Hot American Summer
The window of tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD
Most of us aspire to live a good life. We may assume we know what that looks like, without asking what a good life looks like for us -- which may diverge quite a bit from cultural ideals. In this episode, we share research findings on the essential elements of general well-being and discuss how our own ideas of a good life have changed over time.
Links:
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness, by Marc Schulz, MD, and Robert Waldinger, MD
TED talk / transcript by Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development
The Blue Zones - the Power 9 practices for longevity
Dr. Dean Ornish - research-based lifestyle medicine
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
There's a simple action you can take to lower anxiety and stress, calm your nervous system, and increase your feeling of connection with others and the world around you. It's free, straightforward, and takes only a couple of minutes to feel the benefits. That practice is finding everyday awe.
In this episode, we share the eight wonders of life from the research of Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology, founding director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and author of the new book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. We discuss how these have shown up in our lives and what you can do to cultivate them in your own.
What feels restful to you? Some of us are so accustomed to doing and striving that we’re not quite sure anymore. Still, our minds and bodies need real rest to function, especially when we’re under stress. Coming off a restful week together in Spain, we discuss how to identify what renews your energy and carve out time for it.
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD via Zoom: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Links:
Ep. 20: Self-Care Is Not Just for Women, with Chris Myers
Life In Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World, by Gretchen Rubin
Spring cleaning has a number of mental health benefits. It gives you a sense of control over your environment that can help you manage stress and anxiety in your daily life. And making your space more open and tidy is both calming and energizing.
We share 5 guiding questions, with examples from our lives, to help you figure out:
which types of spring cleaning will free up the most bandwidth for you
what the good / better / best version of "done" looks like, and
small steps you can take to get to “good.”
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: @semitogether
Facebook: /semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
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Links:
The Mental Health Benefits of Spring Cleaning (Vogue)
Marie Kondo Interviews Elizabeth Gilbert on Tidying the Mind (KonMari)
Decluttering at the Speed of Life, by Dana K. White
How to Keep House While Drowning, by KC Davis
The Home Edit
As humans trying to keep up with the lightning-fast pace of the modern world, many of us often feel overwhelmed. It may be in a certain area of life -- like health, work, family, or current events -- and commonly, it’s all of the above all at once.
In this episode, we share what overwhelm is and how to take small steps to break through it, including reading your body’s warning signs, calming your nervous system, and using “on-ramps” to move yourself forward.
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Links:
Ep. 44: Pressing the Reset Button (on actions to complete the stress cycle)
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brené Brown
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Amelia and Emily Nagoski
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
We bring in our husbands, Brian and Darren (a.k.a. The Dudes) to discuss our love languages and how they show up in our relationships.
Gary Chapman published the book “The 5 Love Languages” over 30 years ago. Since then, the concept of “love languages” have become an enduring part of our pop culture lexicon, beyond the original five from the book. People talk about their love languages being tacos or travel or solitude in an empty house.
What are your love languages, and has knowing them helped you in your relationships (of all kinds)? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
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Resources:
Take The 5 Love Languages Quiz
Scary Mommy: The Creator Of The 5 Love Languages Is A Homophobe And This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
TED: Your Favorite Person’s Love Language: How to Tell, and How to Use It
The Gottman Institute: “Invest in Your Emotional Bank Account”
Reductress: How to Say Your Love Languages Is Gifts Without Sounding Like a French Child Prince
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
It feels important right now to figure out how to navigate the major stressors in our lives and move forward even when we’re struggling. Some of the people close to us are going through hard times right now, like infertility, serious illness, and loss of a loved one. It makes sense that as we get older, the more illness and loss we experience, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
We’ve been coping by reading books about finding hope, beauty, and meaning in the midst of pain. We wanted to share the takeaways that we’ve found most helpful, and how they've carried each of us through adversity.
Note that we talk about dealing with difficult experiences such as illness, grief, and loss, so you may want to listen with headphones around young kids. If you’re going through something tough right now, we hope this conversation can be a support to you, but if it’s triggering in any way, feel free to skip this one.
We’ve always been amused by the holiday song that begins, “So this is Christmas,” because of its ambivalent vibe, like, “Welp, I guess this is happening.” But this opening line actually captures how we feel about the start of 2023..
In this episode, we talk about framing our intentions for the new year at a time when we’re both dealing with some big challenges and not feeling 100% peppy. However you’re feeling about the new year -- excited, apprehensive, optimistic, overwhelmed, or a blend of emotions -- is okay. You get to decide how to start this new year the way that’s right for you and feel what you feel about it, no matter what anyone else is doing.
How are you approaching 2023? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
Previous New Year’s episodes:
Ep. 62: Start the New Year with a Vision
Ep. 47: Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021!
Ep. 37: Reimagining Our 2020 Goals
Ep. 29: 20 for 2020 Goals
Ep. 7: Tighten Up and Lighten Up
Ep. 2: How to Stick with Resolutions & Goals
Resources:
Imprint App
Anxiety RX, by Dr. Russ Kennedy
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD virtually: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
The holidays can be A LOT, especially when we’ve been in survival mode -- as many of us have been since the pandemic started. This has been a challenging year for us: Gill has been managing her cancer diagnosis and treatment, while Melia has been building her coaching business and moving to New York with her family.
There’s a lot of cultural pressure to make the holidays “the most wonderful time of the year,” but WE get to decide what our holidays look like. To lower stress and overwhelm and boost joy and connection, we start by zeroing in on what matters most to us. When our priority and intention is clear, we can let the rest go.
A few questions to ask yourself when considering baking cookies, buying gifts, going to holiday events, etc.:
Do I want to do this?
If I want to do this, what do I want from the experience? What matters most to me?
How does it affect my body budget (deposits/withdrawals), and how do I plan to stay fueled?
Tell us: What are your intentions for this holiday season? What are you choosing to do and not to do? Email us at podcast@semitogether.com or send us a voice memo.
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Resources:
Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, by Mona Delahooke
Anxiety RX: A New Prescription for Anxiety Relief from the Doctor Who Created It., by Russell Kennedy, M.D.
The Tapping Solution (EFT Tapping Meditation app)
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Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
A lot of us are going through major transitions right now: moving to new locations, changing jobs or relationship status, having kids, or going through losses or health challenges. Many of us are shifting into a new phase in our lives or re-evaluating our priorities due to the pandemic.
The bittersweet nature of many of these transitions has been on our minds lately for a variety of reasons. Melia and her family just moved from Jackson, MS to the Albany, NY area, away from many people and places they love. We recorded this episode together in person at our childhood home in Sonoma, CA, before our parents put the house on the market and move closer to us both.
We draw upon Susan Cain’s beautiful book, Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, as we cope with feelings of grief for what’s ending mixed with anticipation for what’s ahead. We share how we are embracing the bittersweet and, as always, feel it all.
When do you tend to feel bittersweet? What are some ways that embracing bittersweetness helps you through transitions? Tell us at podcast@semitogether.com.
Resources:
Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, by Susan Cain
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, by Brené Brown
Unlocking Us podcast: Brené with Susan Cain on How Sorrow & Longing Make Us Whole, Part 1
Unlocking Us podcast: Brené with Susan Cain on How Sorrow & Longing Make Us Whole, Part 2
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Our upbringing, culture, and traumatic experiences can disconnect us from our emotions and intuition. Many of us get stuck in our minds and stop noticing the pain or discomfort in our bodies, so we miss signals that are crucial to our well-being.
In this episode, we discuss why feeling your emotions matters and how to do it. We share practices that are teaching us to feel it all, and which you can use to do the same.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Wellllll 🤬🤬🤬
Sometimes things don’t go as planned. You realize that a situation is out of your control, there’s nothing you can do about it, and it just plain sucks.
This episode is unfortunately inspired by recent real-life events. We were supposed to meet in D.C. this month for some much-needed sister time, but the universe/ pandemic had other plans.
One of our coping mechanisms is thinking, “It’s all content,” when things don’t go our way. In that spirit, we share five strategies to help you deal with disappointment when reality falls short of your expectations.
Find us on the web for show notes and extras: www.semitogether.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/semitogether
Facebook: https://facebook.com/semitogether
Book a Discovery Call with Melia, who coaches adults with ADHD: www.risingspiralcoaching.com
Resources:
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown
Unlocking Us podcast: Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball
Episode 44: Pressing the Reset Button