68: The Agony of 50/50 Custody (And What Helps) - Convo w/Britta Jo
Description
Quinn and Britta dive into one of the most gut-wrenching challenges women face when considering or navigating divorce: the “agony” of 50/50 custody.
How do you cope with the heartbreak of being away from your kids—even if your co-parent is safe and trustworthy? And what if you’re the one who has always been the anchor parent, the one who knows the bedtime routine, the favorite snacks, the little cues no one else sees?
💔 In this episode, we talk about:
- The grief and fear of losing time with your children
- The cultural and biological narratives that feed “mom guilt”
- The difference between maternal attachment and children’s evolutionary drive to attach
- How patriarchy and capitalism have shaped the idea that mothers must always be present
- Boots-on-the-ground strategies: goodbye rituals, quality time over quantity, and re-regulation practices
- How to reframe your child’s time away as a chance for their independence and resilience to grow
Quinn and Britta share their radically different backgrounds in motherhood—one the eldest of eight, parentified from childhood, the other the eighth of ten, with a more hands-off upbringing—and how those frameworks shaped their parenting styles, their divorce experiences, and the way they handle custody today.
✨ Key takeaways:
- Your child’s foundation of safety doesn’t disappear when they’re away from you.
- Nervous system regulation (yours, not your child’s!) is essential.
- Time apart can teach kids resourcefulness, adaptability, and trust in multiple safe adults.
- Modeling courage and emotional adulthood is more powerful than clinging to control.
This is Part One of the conversation. Next week, in Part Two, Quinn shares her lived experience of co-parenting with someone she doesn’t trust—a very different scenario with very different challenges.
👉 Subscribe to Britta Jo’s Substack for next week's full uncut conversations: https://stayorgo.substack.com/
PostDivorceGlowUp.com
Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com