87. The Measure of Marriage: Dynamic Couples
Description
Lauren opens the episode by setting the context for today’s discussion as part 3 in a 4-part mini series with today’s topic being “dynamic” couples. Listeners should visit jasonandlaurenvallotton.com to take the free marriage assessment to get a real-time look at the state of your relationship. Understanding the three possible categories is essential to chart a pathway forward for growth in your marriage.
Segment 1: What Does a Dynamic Marriage Feel Like?
Jason begins by describing the feelings associated with a dynamic marriage, where both partners feel valued and connected:
- For Women: Feeling known, seen, heard, and valued.
- For Men: Feeling respected and believed in.
- Trust and Safety: Both partners believe they can tell the truth to one another and that the other is their safest place.
- Presence and Teamwork: Feeling each other’s presence and making decisions as a team.
- Hope for the Future: Believing in their ability to navigate hardships together with hope.
Jason emphasizes that life isn’t necessarily easier for these couples, but they have practiced the necessary skills so much that they know what to do when challenges arise.
Segment 2: Contributors to a Dynamic Marriage
Jason discusses the key factors that contribute to a dynamic and thriving marriage:
- Covenant Commitment: A deep, unwavering commitment to each other.
- Emotional Connection: Maintaining a strong emotional bond.
- Communication and Conflict Resolution: Effective communication and the ability to resolve conflicts constructively.
- Standards and Boundaries: The ability to set and keep standards that support the relationship.
- Turning Towards Each Other: Making a habit of turning towards each other first, especially in times of stress.
- Teamwork: Operating as a team in all aspects of life.
Segment 3: How to Achieve a Dynamic Marriage
Jason provides actionable steps couples can take to move towards a dynamic marriage:
- Understanding Your Normal: Recognizing what is “normal” in your relationship and identifying what adjustments are needed to create a culture that both partners feel good about.
- Practice Makes Perfect: Continuously practicing new ways of being, thinking, and communicating until they become the new normal.
- Trust-Building: Trust is often built when someone makes a mistake and then takes responsibility to clean it up, reinforcing safety and reliability in the relationship.
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