[00:01:12 ] So today I'm talking to Annie. Annie, where in the world are you.

[00:01:16 ] annie: [00:01:16 ] I am in

[00:01:17 ] dane: [00:01:17 ] Fort worth, Texas. And what's your big goal for this call

[00:01:20 ] annie: [00:01:20 ] to get some actionable steps to help me get out of my current working situation.

[00:01:27 ] dane: [00:01:27 ] How do you feel about your job?

[00:01:28 ] annie: [00:01:28 ] I feel really apathetic. Like every day I'm like super anxious on my way in.

[00:01:32 ] And then while I'm there, I'm feeling apathetic and neither of those are characteristics I've ever really had and it's really kind of bringing me down. So I'm ready to. Make some big changes.

[00:01:42 ] dane: [00:01:42 ] You are feeling apathetic. That's an interesting word. I don't hear that often. What does that feel like for you?

[00:01:49 ] annie: [00:01:49 ] Oh soul sucking cause I want to do well and it'd be helpful and be part of a team or whatever it is, but I don't feel like I'm valued and [00:02:00 ] so I kind of lose my drive to have my normal approach, I guess.

[00:02:06 ] dane: [00:02:06 ] How's that for you to share?

[00:02:09 ] annie: [00:02:09 ] It's fine. That's my reality at the moment.

[00:02:12 ] dane: [00:02:12 ] You don't feel valued at your work?

[00:02:14 ] What sort of situations create that feeling?

[00:02:17 ] annie: [00:02:17 ] There's a new dynamic at work. There's a new chef.

[00:02:20 ] dane: [00:02:20 ] It's a catering business. Okay.

[00:02:23 ] annie: [00:02:23 ] And he and I have, I don't know, pretty different approaches when it comes to food. And I don't know. I have a master's degree in it. Not making food, but food studies, I'm feeling like they don't take any of my knowledge into consideration, and so I just want to remove myself from that place.

[00:02:38 ] dane: [00:02:38 ] Thank you for sharing this, I think is important to be seen. How would it feel just for you to have a clear articulation around it? I do not feel respected for my competence or listened to for my knowledge at work. I see that impact on you pretty heavy. It might be really healing to say and get real clear, so it's.

[00:02:58 ] A very clear dynamic. Do you want to try and put words to it? That land?

[00:03:03 ] annie: [00:03:03 ] Yeah. Um, those that you just used pretty accurate.

[00:03:06 ] dane: [00:03:06 ] Just for your own catharsis. Why don't you try and say it out loud so your own ears hear it so you can finally put words to what's been going on with clear language.

[00:03:16 ] annie: [00:03:16 ] So I don't feel heard or respected at work and it makes me want to hide

[00:03:21 ] dane: [00:03:21 ] how you're feeling safe, wise, sharing all this right now.

[00:03:24 ] annie: [00:03:24 ] Yeah. I've done safe

[00:03:25 ] dane: [00:03:25 ] try. I don't feel respected at work.

[00:03:28 ] annie: [00:03:28 ] I don't feel respected at work.

[00:03:30 ] dane: [00:03:30 ] Just let that land. Try and say it again. I don't feel respected at work.

[00:03:35 ] annie: [00:03:35 ] I don't feel respected for work.

[00:03:37 ] dane: [00:03:37 ] Your job, you stay with us, the tears will come, the tears will pass and then it'll just be like, yeah, I don't feel respected at work and you'll just be neutral.

[00:03:43 ] You're like, but right now the emotions there and so we want to honor that. Let it be felt full. Let the trauma of not feeling respected at work. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Any,

[00:03:53 ] annie: [00:03:53 ] it's so real. Cause they just came from there.

[00:03:56 ] dane: [00:03:56 ] Good. I just came from work and I don't feel respected [00:04:00 ] there.

[00:04:00 ] annie: [00:04:00 ] I don't feel respected. I don't feel like sharing or helping, and that's where the apathy comes in.

[00:04:06 ] dane: [00:04:06 ] These feelings. I see them as a gift. The feelings you're feeling, they're very temporary, but they are very real right now. And if they feel permanent, then they feel permanent. But that's just right now. And I want you to just to let yourself just dive in, give yourself the experience. I mean, how long have you been working there?

[00:04:24 ] annie: [00:04:24 ] About a year and a half.

[00:04:25 ] dane: [00:04:25 ] Okay. So have you been allowing yourself to go into a place of work where you don't feel respected for a year and a half?

[00:04:33 ] annie: [00:04:33 ] Definitely six months,

[00:04:35 ] dane: [00:04:35 ] definitely six months, and just to let yourself connect with that. Yeah. Good. Many people go into places of work where they don't feel respect to Danny.

[00:04:42 ] You're not alone. Many people do not feel respected at work. You're crying for you, you're crying for me. You're crying for many people right now, but the tears come. Let them see the light of day. There was a gentlemen on one of these calls. He wanted to be an entrepreneur because. He watched his parents get attacked and demeaned in the middle of the streets in Africa by their employers.

[00:05:03 ] Is there anything you want to share?

[00:05:05 ] annie: [00:05:05 ] Just mean hearing that and thinking about my situation, it's like I want to be a boss. That does not treat people that way.

[00:05:12 ] dane: [00:05:12 ] I want to be a boss that does not treat people that way,

[00:05:15 ] annie: [00:05:15 ] and maybe boss is not even the right word. I just want to be a leader. I

[00:05:19 ] dane: [00:05:19 ] want to be in a position of authority so I can use it for good.

[00:05:24 ] That hits hard for me. Yeah. I hate what authority figures told me personally, so try that. I want to be in a place of authority to use it for good and also say, I want to make sure. Everyone feels respected.

[00:05:37 ] annie: [00:05:37 ] I want to be in a place of authority where people are respected. And what was the other part you said?

[00:05:44 ] Like distracted by it?

[00:05:46 ] dane: [00:05:46 ] A new thought.

[00:05:47 ] annie: [00:05:47 ] I think saying I want to be in a place of authority is kind of a new place. Even though I am a manager. It feels different.

[00:05:54 ] dane: [00:05:54 ] I want to be in the highest place of authority so that I can ensure everyone is kind, [00:06:00 ] listened to and respected.

[00:06:02 ] annie: [00:06:02 ] I feel like I want to help look after people in a role like that.

[00:06:05 ] dane: [00:06:05 ] What has you want to look after people.

[00:06:08 ] annie: [00:06:08 ] I was just not wanting anyone to feel like I

[00:06:09 ] dane: [00:06:09 ] do. And how do you feel?

[00:06:12 ] annie: [00:06:12 ] Pretty important.

[00:06:14 ] dane: [00:06:14 ] Just let that wash over you. It's very simple, unimportant.

[00:06:19 ] annie: [00:06:19 ] Know that I am important, but I feel unimportant in that workspace. I don't wish that on anyone.

[00:06:25 ] dane: [00:06:25 ] So let yourself swim in it cause it's there until it's not.

[00:06:30 ] I feel unimportant and I want you to picture that chef feel small. You feel, feel the desire to hide, as you said, picture him and those listening you probably got bosses you don't like, or if you had situations where don't, you can easily join us. But in your case handy, you just picture the person and say, I see a lot important here.

[00:06:52 ] annie: [00:06:52 ] Yeah. I feel an important here. It's not just the chef. There's the general manager that I guess I feel like the two of them have kind of boxed me out since they hired him and I'm the one talking to all the clients trying to sell the food, and I feel. So uninclined to try to sell his food. It's like, sorry, you can't say hello to me when you walk in in the morning and I say hello to you then why should I try to sell your food?

[00:07:15 ] Sorry, I just don't feel any respect and I feel like with the other. Manager, she's seeing it happen, but not doing anything about it. And you feel apathetic, like, okay, good luck. You can find someone to replace me

[00:07:31 ] dane: [00:07:31 ] and we want to get you to a place of that where it's. Not necessarily with anger, but you leave with kindness.

[00:07:39 ] So there's not any subtle bridges that are kind of left, like you want to leave every place better than you found it. So you leave with kindness for yourself. So that dis becomes, I've decided. And I've been thinking about this for six months, did this time for me to move on, and I'm [00:08:00 ] happy to help you find a replacement

[00:08:01 ] annie: [00:08:01 ] and train them

[00:08:02 ] dane: [00:08:02 ] and train them.

[00:08:04 ] But I know my time here is complete. And then when they say, why or how do you know? What would you say?

[00:08:11 ] annie: [00:08:11 ] They don't feel respected? And

[00:08:13 ] dane: [00:08:13 ] what if they listened to that and started respecting you what you want to stay. Okay. Right. So it's not true. That's not why