The second episode of season two is here! Enjoy this episode with Harriet Hadfield.

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

Welcome

You’re listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe that everyone has style. I’m Maureen McLennon Welton. In conversation with fantastic guests, we explore how to tap into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully.

Today’s guest is Harriet Hadfield, the writer of Harry Styles—that name!—on Substack. As an early One Direction fan, you know what I mean. You know her from her nuanced, vulnerable writing about career transitions and mental health challenges, just as much as her playful and creative styling suggestions. Or perhaps you’ve seen her extensive backlog of makeup tutorials or journal making on her YouTube channel, Harry Makes it Up. However you’ve met her, you are sure to have loved her. Harry, welcome to the show.

Harriet: My gosh, that intro was like the most lovely thing ever. I’m like, can you just send me that so can put that in like a happy book?

Maureen: I will print it out, I’ll hand write a note. You can keep it wherever.

Harriet: So lovely. Thank you so much Maureen.

Maureen: You wrote it yourself, you did all those things. So you made it easy.

Well, I wanted to start off by referencing your recent undercover work, a post that you put up on Substack, where you identified some themes and what folks on the East side of LA are wearing, which anyone that’s been following you for a minute would see that it’s a little bit different from your typical style. There’s lots of color. And, I just thought that was really fun because you reinterpret those looks with your own clothes. So I would just love to hear like, how did you come up with that idea? And just tell me, was it so fun to write?

Harriet: It really was like the most fun thing. And I think sometimes to me, my writing, there are some things that I just know I wanna write. And then generally this situation, I’d gone to a coffee shop with my laptop and I got there, my laptop was dead. And I was like, man, there’s no chargers around. And I always carry a notebook with me, as you know, I love my journals. So I was like, okay, I’m just gonna people watch, which is another hobby of mine. And I just started writing what I was seeing, like socks with shoes, canvas totes. It was almost like a shopping list. I just kind of was documenting what I was seeing. And then I said to my husband, he was at the coffee shop with me, I was like, I’m Harriet the Spy. And then I think that whole thing, was like, this is so fun because like you said, I think my style is a little bit different generally to where I live and I don’t in any way say that to sound like it’s better than. Again, I think this is where style can feel really problematic.

But coming from London, I think my style has always felt a bit dressier. But I love taking inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. So I also think I’m currently on another no-buy. I love being able to think how can I make my existing wardrobe work harder for me? And also like you said, like intuitive style in my opinion is about trying stuff. It’s about experimenting. So I love pushing myself out my comfort zone in the safety of my own home and knowing like, okay, here’s my barometer to decide what feels comfortable to leave the house in. What bits do I keep? What bits do I maybe go, cool, I tried that, it’s not for me. But for me getting dressed is like playing dress up. It always takes me back to being a kid and just wanting to try things.

Maureen: How do you know when it feels right and you’re ready to leave the house in something versus like, I need to tweak this a little bit more or it doesn’t feel right?

Harriet:That’s a really good question and part of me wants to say there’s lots of ways to answer that but I also think intuition and self-trust is something we build. So for me it’s both a physical feeling in my body, it’s kind of like a mental knowing of... I think as well for me it’s like a spectrum of like am I uncomfortable because it feels new or is it uncomfortable because...I just would feel more conscious wearing this than not wearing it. And I think if it’s the former, like, oh, this just feels new, then this is why I like doing, like, play dates in my own wardrobe at home, because it gives me time to get used to seeing myself in a new way. It gives me space and time to be like, ooh, there’s something that keeps making me look in the mirror and go, I’m not mad at it. I don’t hate it. And sometimes I think you have to start there before you can get to a place of, oh my god, this and sometimes the my god I love this does happen very instantaneously but for me I think it’s almost it’s it’s learning to develop patience with when I’m trying something new it isn’t always gonna click straight away and there will be some things where try as I might I’m like looks great on everyone else but it’s a no for me like I think it’s that it’s it’s building that self-trust which I would love to say I could tell you exactly how you do that.

But I think it’s, I think to start with, it’s maybe wanting to build the self-trust. I think that’s a good place to be. Like, I think I’ve outsourced my tastes when I was younger so much. I look for someone to tell me what style is, what would be right. Again, you know, coming of like the noughties and the, you know, 90s teenager, like I grew up with, everything should be flattering, everything should be done, you know, avoid horizontal stripes.

So I’ve had to unlearn a lot as well, but I think that started with wanting to unlearn it. Like there came a point where I was like, I would like to make decisions that feel good for me, even if other people don’t get it. And I think that’s a good place to start is just wanting to kind of like build that trust.

Maureen: Can you be my co-host on this podcast because...

Harriet: You Anytime.

Maureen: I mean, everything you said…there’s no bows that we can tie. There’s a reason that this is an 18 plus episode and growing podcast because I don’t think that there’s a one answer on how to build this self trust, but it’s like you said, it’s a choice that we’re making and, something that we have to put time and attention into doing. yeah.

Harriet: Yeah. No. And I think make it fun, whatever fun looks like for you. Like for me, I’m still a big kid at heart. Like I wanna put 90s boy band music on while I have a wardrobe play date and you know, have a sing and a dance in my closet. And I’m always like, how can I make this feel like play versus something I have to get right?

Maureen: Are there any outfits that you tried recently or as a result of that post that, was there like anything that stands out that you’re like, I did this new thing and it felt really good. What was that like?

Harriet: I think the socks and shoes I see come round again and again. I think it’s one of those things that in fashion, it’s been used in so many different decades. I see people, like I I live on the East side in LA. I see it a lot on the East side and I always appreciate it on other people. I’ve just always been like, especially trainers and socks, loafers and socks. And I remember realizing at one point, I don’t actually own a pair of white socks. I only own black socks for the winter with my boots. And I remember wearing a pair of black socks over leggings with like a really oversized blazer and then like a white strappy sandal and I loved the contrast of that. I remember thinking like, oh this feels like me. Again, that spectrum I talked about, it was a very instantaneous yes. And so because of that, I was like, okay, well what if it’s not a loafer in a sock for me? What if it’s just a different shoe in a sock?

So again, I kind of like the same Harriet the Spy thing. I’m very investigative. Like, I don’t even think that’s a word. But like, I’m always trying to be like, what is the bit I do like? Like, warmer, warmer. And I remember I had this pair of shoes that were actually from the Alison Bornstein, Jack Irwin collection when she did that launch. And I’ve got to be honest, I don’t always wear them. And they’re suede and I live in LA, so I have no excuse. But I was just like, I need to wear these more. Again, there’s things in my wardrobe where I’m like, I love this item. If I’m not wearing it, is it because I need to find new ways to wear it that excite me? Is it just that I haven’t put it enough into heavy rotation? And like I said, I didn’t have any white socks, but Dave had some sports socks with like a pink and a brown rim around the top. And I was like, well, if I fold them and scrunch them, I can kind of make it look like a white sock. And it was like a thick sports socks. I was like, okay, this is really not comfortable, but it’s kind like I have this concept called like the bridge philosophy where it’s like where can you try something that is like point A of the spectrum of starring stuff and being like, okay, that’s my beginning point. And from doing that, although it was like uncomfy because the socks were too thick, I was like, I kind of like this. And again, for me, I have to always add something dressy into the mix. I feel like when there’s like a more formal looking bag or something that feels qui