The masculine and feminine instincts are not at war with each other. They are synergistic for the purposes of making the couple passionate for each other and about life itself on account of the presence of the other.

It may seem counterintuitive in today’s culture to realize that someone displaying their (unconscious) instincts in your presence isn’t to one-up or overshadow you, but a strong signal that they prefer and like you over any other potential mate.

TRANSCRIPT

SPEAKER 2

If you're feeling shy about going out on the town and figuring out how conversations should go between yourself and another man and understanding those differences, just talk to some of the men that you might have in your office that you might work with, some members of your family, and test this out and see if discussing career and the things that masculinize a man don't actually make you feel better and the man will give you the eye contact that you're looking for and

Women’s Psychology

SPEAKER 1

It ought to be a benefit to you and you ought to feel like you're well treated, like you're treated with respect or as they used to say, treated like a lady.

It ought to make you feel good and feel a sense of pleasure and worth that he likes me.

But simultaneously, just the act of him doing the treating makes him feel more like a man.

as well so both sides win.

There aren't sides really.

One other thing about dances and this idea of being both equal and different at the same time.

If you were dancing the tango and your partner slipped, have you seen this happen on some of the talent shows on TV?

Somebody slips and falls and their partner picks them up really quickly and they try to continue the dance.

You know, if the other person slips a little bit, does something, you know, a little off or a little clumsy, you can help them out with that.

And the same goes for both men and women at this process.

I'm sure that at some point you have noticed in your relationships feeling either like in the superior position for a brief time or the inferior position for the brief time.

What I mean is somebody's holding a little more power

at any given point in a relationship.

Somebody has a little bit more advantage at any given point in a relationship.

And to that scenario, what I would say, you know what I'm talking about.

What I would say is that if done right, then the man and the woman throughout life trade power just by a tad

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, all through life.

It needs to never be the man is all dominant and the woman is totally submissive, nor the woman all dominant and the man totally submissive, like some of these reality show couples we see happening all the time.

so that the power gets traded off and i would say to you as a woman have you ever seen one of those talent shows maybe one of the uh... the vocal artists shows for example you know there's dancing with the stars and there's uh... america's uh... got talent america's got talent american idol american idol all right so have you ever seen a female contestant on that show kind of be behind the other

Artists the other contestants But then by the finale she pulls it out.

She pulls ahead and then she wins, right?

Well during the time that she was a little bit one down That was she less of an artist or less of a woman Because of that no, it's just that she wasn't winning yet And she pulled it out by the end.

She pulled out her talent

SPEAKER 3

and one in the end.

And this brings us back to the low-pressure situation on a girls' night out, which is that if you have a relationship with someone you meet on a girls' night out, it's going to play out over several weeks or months or dates.

It doesn't have to all be decided over whether or not he buys you a drink at that moment.

SPEAKER 1

Right, right.

See what happens.

I think what I'm saying is on this issue of men and women are equal but different, I want women to understand that by being good to men,

Femininity and Masculinity

SPEAKER 3

and a man who's sort of taking charge and claiming his territory and his rank and all that is not trying to demean the woman.

Picket is a compliment.

He's feeling masculine, you know, at that point.

SPEAKER 1

It means he likes you.

Yeah.

And he's not a threat, in other words.

SPEAKER 2

Didn't we talk one time, Dr. Paul, about it being like manners, just good manners, bringing out the best in someone else?

That's what a good host or hostess does.

And if someone is slipping up a bit in their manners at the table, the hostess

Pays no mind, doesn't criticize, but just tries to gracefully go over it so that the deal can go on.

SPEAKER 1

Or maybe pulls them aside and says, Hey, all these people that I've invited, you know, they're from a different walk of life from what you're used to, you know, cater to that.

Yes.

Give them a chance to correct what they're doing.

SPEAKER 2

That's right.

Yeah.

Just help each other.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And yes, help each other.

SPEAKER 1

Right.

Men and women, equal but different.

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