Having boundaries with others means that we keep our dignity, have respect but demand respect of others, and we only agree to what we agree to.

If someone is kind or gift-giving or complimentary, that’s their business, but it doesn’t mean that we owe anything back (including any kind of commitment) unless we progress in courtship to that point of feeling the other person appeals to us in a way we voluntarily want to give back to them.

Early dating is about fun and flirtiness, laughing, teasing and the passion of desire rising in us both.

But passion only comes as a synonym for masculinity and femininity, where these have been stoked and raised in us by the presence of and unconscious flirtational actions of the other to raise our masculinity or femininity.

If this happens, we start to feel passion but not commitment or even friendship until later.

The second phase of courtship is friendship, with exclusive dating and so we are not even near that yet.

In the distant future, the third phase of courtship comes online, but only if we have made it through phase two (friendship.)

So we certainly don’t owe each other any commitment as we are nowhere near that.

More to come in the next episode, with full access to paid members for listening to the entire program stored in the archives with one new episode each week…

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit womenspsychology.substack.com/subscribe