This week, we discuss: bloody imagery; complex book motives and actions vs. action-scene movie choices; Crookshanks and the Prisoner of Azkaban; Sirius says “SAVE MARTHA!”; robbing Ron; the cat knows which series he’s in; misdirection and Sirius-Lupin ships; WHY WOULDN’T YOU JUST PUT THAT IN THE MOVIE?; Sirius is out of fucks; so is Snape; no one ever sees Expelliarmus coming; the complications of Fidelius Charms; Death Eaters in South America —AND NOW FOR THE WEREWOLF PORTION — Peter Stubbe, Werewolf of Bedburg; belts, nudity and violence in werewolf lore; werewolves all over the world and why there are so few female werewolves; werewolves and Christianity; werewolves as metaphors for homosexuality and deviant male sexuality; how JK Rowling doesn’t understand the metaphor she actually wrote; and why it’s far too simplistic to read Lupin as gay or an AIDS survivor; the power of NOT sterilizing your lore; male role models; Hermione and Ron and menstrual subtext; and really, just all the proof that the Year 3 Book is the sexiest Book so far.

S: Welcome back to Advanced Muggle Studies. I’m so excited! I am Professor Seraphine here with Professor Creed, and we are back to talk about Prisoner of Azkaban some more. Are you excited?

C: I’m sorry, who are you? What is this? Where are we?

S: New phone who dis? Oh my goodness, it’s been forever. We are going back to the old standby of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and I’m not going to lie, reading these chapters that we’re going to do today, which is chapters 17-19, reminded me of why this series is so fucking good. These chapters are so good. It was really enjoyable to reread them. So are you ready to do this?

C: I am ready. I will say up front that I have forgotten almost all of our running jokes. So we may come up with new ones.

S: Maybe we should just make new ones. I think that’s a fair approach.

C: The night is young.

S: Well, when we left off last, all the action was about to start. It was right when the Ministry of Magic had sent their loser executioner and they chopped off Buckbeak’s head. And now we pick up reading Chapter 17,  ominously entitled:

Ch. 17: Cat, Rat, and Dog

C: I have never heard anything so ominous in my life.

S: It’s a little ominous! We just open with the three standing there under the invisibility cloak. I mean, and they don’t know what to do, but he just lost his head. You know, things die. And that is a little bit of a startling thing for the kids at that point. I also want to say I know there’s a lot of blood in this book, like references to blood. Even now when they’re talking about the very last rays of the setting sun casting “a bloody light over the ground.”

We’re going to come back to that because I have thoughts, but anyway, I’m just wanting to bring that up now. And they had back to the castle. And you know, as I was reading this, I was noticing all the places where the book covered its bases and the movie just didn’t. I don’t know — you don’t really remember the movie very well, do you? It’s been a while since you’ve seen it.

C: I remember that it is different in some ways from the book, but I also remember liking the third movie better than the others.

S: It’s a brilliant movie. And my biggest issue with it was that they lead they left out some key things and we’ll talk about some of that. But just a little thing like this — for example, in the movie, once they’ve seen Buckbeak’s head chopped off, and they’re standing there freaking out and then all of a sudden, Scabbers bites Ron’s finger, Ron drops him and Scabbers beelines it into the woods and they’re all very confused about why this is happening. And I had even forgotten! Because my husband watching this movie, you know, he was like, why would he do it now? Like, why wouldn’t he wait? And I was like, I don’t know. No, we have a reason. The reason is Crookshanks is on the job. We have this moment where Ron is holding Scabbers and suddenly like, panicky, freaking out trying to get out of his pocket. You know, he tries to hold him, Scabbers is terrified, he’s trying to get out of Ron’s grip. And then when we get the line,

But Harry had just seen — slinking toward them, his body low to the ground, wide yellow eyes, glinting eerily in the darkness — Crookshanks.

Crookshanks!

C: Ya boi!

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