EP19 - Seeing Good is Bad

Is seeing only the good in others truly noble and a characteristic to aspire to? Hilary debunks the myth that focusing solely on the positive aspects of people is virtuous. In fact, she suggests that this one-sided, limited viewpoint is not only not good for you, but it’s actually a harmful set-up for everyone involved.

Episode Highlights:

• Hilary explains how idealizing others by only seeing their good traits is a distorted view of reality.


• Explore how this behavior manifests in various relationships, from parents ignoring their child’s struggles to overlooking red flags in romantic relationships.


• Delve into the risks of ignoring the full picture, including emotional, mental, and even physical harm. True loving and appreciation comes from seeing and accepting a person’s whole self, flaws and all.

Episode Breakdown:

• [00:00 ] Challenging Conventional Wisdom About Seeing the Good in People


• [01:03 ] The Problem with Seeing the Good and Examples


• [03:09 ] Self-Interest in Seeing the Good


• [05:15 ] Consequences of Ignoring Reality


• [06:08 ] True Acceptance


• [08:13 ] Personal Story 

Listener Takeaways:

• Learn the importance of seeing and accepting people for who they truly are, rather than an idealized version.


• Understand how setting realistic expectations in relationships can prevent significant letdowns and heartache.


• Discover how embracing the entirety of a person, including their imperfections, leads to more authentic and meaningful relationships.

Hilary offers new insights into how we connect with others. If you’re looking to build deeper, more authentic relationships, this episode is a must-listen. Learn why embracing the full reality—not just the good—might be the key to avoiding denial and enjoying more honest and fulfilling relationships in your life.

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