How to Know When Change Is Growth vs. Running Away

Update: 2025-09-11

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Episode 988: Show Notes

At some point, you are going to have a fork in the road and choices to make that may leave you wondering what is right for you. I have a lot on my plate at the moment, and it’s bringing up a lot of questions about where my business is going, the kind of products I want to sell, how I want to show up online, and what I want my life to look like. Obviously, I could just keep going as I have been, but I have had this inkling inside of me that something is supposed to change.

While I don’t necessarily know what, I know that things are moving in a new direction. During my discovery process of trying to figure these things out, a question came up for me: Am I choosing this change because it’s the right next step, or am I trying to escape something? Is this for growth, or am I running away? Running away from something because it scares you often is the wrong decision, so I spoke to my therapist, who gave me some great advice about this topic, and I wanted to share it with you today.

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Signs That You’re Running Away from Something

If something is a positive change, you will likely find yourself moving toward it – towards something that aligns with your goals, values, and desires. But if you find yourself running away, you are typically moving away from discomfort without resolving whatever the underlying issue is. Some signals that you might be running away include things like urgency and feeling like the change has to happen immediately. You may have a pattern of jumping ship whenever things get hard. Do you find yourself blaming external circumstances instead of reflecting on your own role? Do you have no clear vision of what you’re moving toward, but you’re super clear on what you’re moving away from? That might mean you’re running away.

Indicators of Positive Change

The signals that it’s potentially a positive change are that the choice feels challenging but purposeful. You feel excited, you have ideas, you want to explore them, and you feel immersed in it. You’ll be excited to learn new things and new strategies, and put yourself out there in a new way. You may have considered alternatives, but keep coming back to this thing and keep finding yourself drawn in that direction, and can’t explain why. Some part of you knows that this is aligned with your goals and values. If you’re moving toward an opportunity and not just away from pain, this could be a really great opportunity for you. It could be a super positive change!

How to Know When It’s Both

I want to acknowledge that sometimes, it is both growth and running away. This can leave you in a conflicting state that makes you unsure of how to feel about something. Even if it’s both, I don’t think the outcome necessarily changes. If you’re still being pushed to change, then does that positivity outweigh the bad? I think that’s for each of you to decide, and it’s specific to your situation. I’m not here to tell you what to do because so many of these decisions are nuanced, and it’s not all straightforward. So, I just want you to slow down and ask yourself some questions: Am I moving towards something or only away from something? Does this change align with the bigger vision for my life or for my work? Will this decision help me grow even if it’s messy? Am I repeating an old pattern, or is this totally brand new territory?

The Number One Thing to Get Clear On

I want you to consider what you value, what’s most important to you, what you want to prioritize, and what you want to see more of in the world, regardless of the decision that you’re currently faced with. Ask yourself if you are clear on what you actually want. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have weighed up two choices only to realize later on that I didn’t want either of them. Some people wait for life to happen to them, and some people pursue it and write their own story. Do you know what direction you want to go? I think that if you don’t know what you want, the easiest thing to do is define what you don’t want and then check the antithesis. You don’t have to know every step you’re going to take; you just have to believe that this step is the one you’re supposed to take next and do that. It's really easy to want to panic, overanalyze, and want to make a decision immediately. But if you were to slow down, what would it look like to make this decision from clarity?

When Escaping is Necessary

You can get clear on why you’re making the choices you’re making, but sometimes, the right decision is to run away. I don’t want you to judge yourself for the decision you’re making, and I’m not here to say that running away isn’t the right choice. Sometimes, escaping is necessary! It’s not automatically a negative thing; it can still be the right decision! I just want you to become conscious about why you’re choosing something so that you can stop repeating cycles that don’t serve you. Choices will always just be choices, and very few choices in life are permanent decisions! Change isn’t good or bad, but the intention behind it determines whether it’s an opportunity for growth or an escape route.

I think awareness is the single biggest opportunity for us to have a deeper relationship with ourselves, and it’s often the one we ignore most. You don’t have to have all of the decisions made right now, but I hope you can slow down to figure out what the next steps are. I’d love to hear about it from you, and if this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who would benefit from hearing it too!