Welcome back, you beautiful, beautifully cluttered souls, to 'I AM' – the podcast that tackles the messy bits of life with a side of mindful mischief. Today, Find the Freedom to Be You (Authentically You) ...watch this episode on YouTube

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”―Shannon L. Alder

I discovered that some people may not necessarily be “people pleasers”, but they still don’t live with self-integrity…you know not living in accordance with one's priorities, desires and values. That could be because they don’t truly know themselves or maybe don’t want to ruffle any feathers. Therefore, they feel it’s safer to live by societal expectations and beliefs rather than their true beliefs.

There’s also the trap of having an overly busy lifestyle that many people embark on with - little time to ask themselves “what do I really want?” or “what makes me happy?” I get it. I've spent my lifetime being a people pleaser, so when I broke the cycle I decided to dedicate the last 12 years to building a business that guides and supports individuals in living an authentic and fulfilling life.

But first, why does authenticity even matter? Well, it’s way easier being yourself than putting so much effort and energy into people pleasing for others.

The energy it requires to continuously analyze situations and people so you can respond “appropriately” is insane!!! When someone is authentic, we look at them and feel their honesty, confidence and most likely wish we could do the same. Actually, don’t you feel great being around someone who is authentic? It gives you the permission to be authentic too - feeling the freedom to be you. There are so many benefits to being authentic – respect from others, greater trust, solid and meaningful relationships, you can self-actualize, and simply be at your best!

If you’re on the “becoming my authentic self” journey, read on to understand the four pillars to being your authentic self. Essentially a roadmap on how to achieve (and maintain) being authentic – i.e. NO MORE PEOPLE PLEASING, oh, and some questions to support you on this journey.

In the midst of our busy lives, it's essential to carve out time for self-care and reconnect with our authentic selves. One powerful way to achieve this is through engaging in hobbies. Hobbies not only provide a welcome escape from the demands of daily life but also serve as a means to nurture and express our individuality

“As my awareness increases, my control over my own being increases.” – William Schutz

Four Pillars

No.1 Self-Awareness

• Who are you having a difficult time being yourself with? Why do you think that is?
• When do you catch yourself shrinking and almost disappearing? What is the reason for that?
• When are you stressed out? Who are you with? Why is that?
• Who do you have a hard time saying no to, but would like to? What are you afraid of? So what?
• In what area of your life do you feel lacks authenticity? I.e. Where do you feel you might be living out of integrity?

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."–Aristotle.

No.2 Self-Discovery

• When thinking about your personality traits, do you think you are funny, shy, intelligent, introverted, secretly flamboyant, predictable, giving, athletic, direct, methodical? How would you describe yourself?
• Did you discover negative traits you might have? Like selfishness, blunt, lazy, compulsive, false, selfish, gullible, vindictive, naive, or moody? Do you always express those traits?
• What do you love to do? What do you despise? What are your dreams and aspirations?
• What are your biggest challenges lately and what are you doing about it?
• What are 25 things that make you smile?

“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.” – Shannon Ables

No.3 Self-Acceptance

Part of self-acceptance is also realizing that whatever you did in that moment (good or bad), is simply what you did in that moment, and what you were capable of doing in that moment. When you are able to see that truth, self-judgment disappears and self-love comes in! In the moment, you did the best you could. Instead of self-judgment, learn and move on.

Self-acceptance is also the gateway to accepting others and their life path. Honestly, this is where we can begin practicing “Christ Consciousness” on earth. Becoming a vessel of love, truth, and goodness on the planet and actively striving to attain it.

"No other love, no matter how genuine it is, can fulfill one’s heart better than unconditional self-love." —Edmond Mbiaka

No. 4 Self-Love

All of the above pillars are milestones to self-love, and self-love is the journey we are here to experience. When we have self-love, we can then love and accept others' differences, their path, their flaws (because we have them too) and all of this can lead to peace on earth. Sound dreamy? Yes, I know it does. However, I will encourage you to focus on just that and observe how your life changes. See who shows up in your life, see the opportunities that emerge naturally for you to live a happier and fulfilling life. Witness your relationships flourish, feel a decrease of stress and judgment, and feel free and light in your heart.

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Let's dive a little deeper as we explore the significance of hobbies for self-care and how they can aid in reclaiming your authentic self.

Understanding the Role of Hobbies:

Hobbies play a vital role in self-care by providing an avenue for self-expression, relaxation, and personal fulfillment. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment allows you to step away from the pressure of constantly pleasing others and reconnect with your own needs and desires.

Identifying Your Passions:

Take time to reflect on activities that ignite your passion and curiosity. What hobbies have you always wanted to explore? Whether it's painting, gardening, playing a musical instrument, or photography, finding hobbies that resonate with you will help you tap into your authentic self.

Cultivating Mindfulness and Flow:

When engrossed in a hobby, you enter a state of flow, where time seems to stand still, and you are fully present in the moment. This mindful immersion in an activity helps alleviate stress, anxiety, and the need to please others. Embrace this state of flow as a way to reconnect with your inner self and experience a sense of fulfillment.

Prioritizing Personal Time:

Make a conscious effort to prioritize personal time for engaging in hobbies. Set aside dedicated moments in your schedule to pursue activities that bring you joy and peace. Recognize that investing in self-care is not selfish but essential for your overall well-being.

Setting Boundaries:

As you embark on your journey to break free from people-pleasing tendencies, it's crucial to establish boundaries. Communicate your needs and limitations to others, ensuring that you have enough time and energy to dedicate to your hobbies and self-care. Remember, saying no to others allows you to say yes to yourself.

Seeking Professional Support:

At Sonya Janisse, Holistic Health Coaching, we understand the challenges of breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies. We provide a compassionate and supportive environment where you can explore the underlying causes and develop strategies for reclaiming your authentic self. Contact me at 226-377-0799 or email us at sonyajanisse@gmail.com to start your journey toward self-care and personal empowerment.

**Don't forget to email or DM me "25 things that make you happy" sonyajanisse@gmail.com **

Hobbies offer a powerful pathway to self-care and reclaiming your authentic self. By engaging in activities that bring you joy, cultivating mindfulness, setting boundaries, and seeking professional support when needed, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and prioritize your own well-being.

Resources -

Podcast episode #184

The Four Agreements

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