It’s the week’s biggest issue: should the grand final be known as The Big Dance or The Granny?

Well, here’s the tip from Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson – the Big Dance has to go. In fact, the world’s greatest broadcasters are calling for Government legislation imposing massive fines and points deducted from driving licences for anyone using the term. (Hint: The Granny is not on solid ground, either.)

And what’s next for Sam Newman since he kind of, maybe, quit the Footy Show? HG’s dream is that in a perfect world Sam will team up with Bruce McAvaney for Talking Footy Part Two but Roy’s mail points in a completely different direction … how about Sam After Dark on Sky TV?

“Footy show topics have held Sam back in the past … what people want is Sam in a nappy, covered in boot polish and let off the leash.” (Hint: it won’t be a show for the easily offended.)

With the Sydney Football Stadium now to be demolished, HG and Roy take a trip down memory lane with Roy revealing how he found Barbra Streisand lost in the car-park and how he had to punch a few fans as he led her to the stage.

Did Dave Warner over-do it with the celebrations after scoring a century in his return to local cricket? Well, yes, if you think burning down the clubhouse and jamming fence pickets up the dates of opposition bowlers but as Roy and HG point out, it’s been a long time since he had reason to celebrate so give him a break.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg that is this week’s podcast so welcome aboard to the good ship, The Sporting Probe, and full steam ahead.