THE PLIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PLEASER

As long as I can remember, I’ve been determined to keep the peace. Maybe it’s because my group of friends dropped me in middle school. Maybe it’s genetic. Maybe it’s because my parents got divorced. Whatever the cause, in psychology there’s a name for my affliction.

It’s called agreeableness, and it’s one of the major personality traits around the world. Agreeable people tend to be nice. Friendly. Polite. Canadian.*

My first impulse is to avoid even the most trivial of conflicts. When I’m riding in an Uber and the air-conditioning is blasting, I struggle to bring myself to ask the driver to turn it down—I just sit there shivering in silence until my teeth start to chatter. When someone steps on my shoe, I’ve actually apologized for

inconveniently leaving my foot in his path. When students fill out course evaluations, one of their most common complaints is that I’m “too supportive of stupid comments.”

Disagreeable people tend to be more critical, skeptical, and challenging—and they’re more likely than their peers to become engineers and lawyers. They’re not just comfortable with conflict; it energizes them. If you’re highly disagreeable, you might be happier

in an argument than in a friendly conversation. That quality often comes with a bad rap: disagreeable people get stereotyped as curmudgeons who complain about every idea, or Dementors who suck the joy out of every meeting. When I studied Pixar, though, I came away with a dramatically different view.

In 2000, Pixar was on fire. Their teams had used computers to rethink animation in their first blockbuster, Toy Story, and they were fresh off two more smash hits. Yet the company’s founders weren’t content to rest on their laurels. They recruited an outside director named Brad Bird to shake things up. Brad had just released

his debut film, which was well reviewed but flopped at the box office, so he was itching to do something big and bold. When he pitched his vision, the technical leadership at Pixar said it was impossible: they would need a decade and $500 million to make it.

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📚هایلایت قسمت 54 کتاب Think Again

✅ Plight: A difficult or unfortunate situation, گرفتاری

✅ People pleaser: Someone who tries hard to make others happy, usually at the expense of their own well-being, آدمی که همیشه سعی می‌کند دیگران را راضی کند

✅ Keep the peace: To prevent or stop arguments or conflict, آرام نگه داشتن اوضاع

✅ Dropped me: To stop associating with someone or stop being friends, مرا ترک کردند

✅ Genetic: Relating to genes or heredity, ژنتیکی

✅ Affliction: A condition of pain or suffering, رنج

✅ Agreeableness: The quality of being pleasant, friendly, and easy to get along with, خوش‌برخوردی

✅ Impulse: A sudden strong desire or urge to do something, انگیزه ناگهانی

✅ Trivial: Not important or serious, جزئی

✅ Struggle to: To find something difficult or challenging to do, تلاش کردن برای

✅ Bring oneself to: To force oneself to do something, خود را وادار کردن به

✅ Chatter: To make rapid, repetitive sounds, especially teeth clattering due to cold, دندان قروچه کردن

✅ Course evaluations: Forms used by students to assess a course or teacher, ارزیابی‌های دوره

✅ Disagreeable: Unpleasant, uncooperative, and not easy to get along with, ناخوشایند

✅ Skeptical: Doubtful or uncertain about something, شکاک

✅ Energizes: To give energy or motivation to something or someone, انرژی دادن

✅ Bad rap: An unfair negative reputation or criticism, شهرت بد

✅ Curmudgeon: A person who is easily annoyed or critical, فرد بدخلق

✅ Suck the joy out of: To make something less enjoyable or take away the fun, از بین بردن لذت چیزی

✅ Rest on their laurels: To stop trying after achieving success, از تلاش دست کشیدن پس از موفقیت

✅ Smash hits: Extremely successful films, songs, or events, موفقیت‌های بزرگ

✅ Determined: Decided and committed to achieving something, مصمم

✅ Blasting: Making a loud, powerful noise, به شدت و با صدای بلند

✅ Shivering: Trembling or shaking due to cold or fear, لرزیدن

✅ Inconveniently: In a way that causes difficulty or trouble, به شکل ناراحت‌کننده

✅ Stereotyped: Having a fixed or oversimplified image or idea, کلیشه‌ای

✅ Complain: To express dissatisfaction or annoyance, شکایت کردن

✅ Dramatically: In a way that is very noticeable or extreme, به طور چشمگیر

✅ Blockbuster: A highly successful movie, book, or product, موفقیت بزرگ

✅ Shake things up: To change or disrupt a situation or system, تغییرات اساسی ایجاد کردن

✅ Debut film: The first film made by a director or actor, فیلم اولین

✅ Flopped: To fail or be unsuccessful, شکست خوردن

✅ Itching to do sth: To be eager or excited to do something, اشتیاق داشتن برای انجام کاری

✅ Pitch sth (vision): To present or propose an idea or plan, ارائه دادن (دیدگاه)