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Episode 198 - Why Needing to Be Right and Staying in Control Are Hurting Your Relationship with Your Adult Child

"Why won’t my adult child talk to me?"
If you’ve found yourself asking that question, you're not alone—and this episode is for you.

I’m Tina Gosney, family conflict coach and family life educator. In this special rebroadcast, I’m bringing back two powerful episodes because the messages inside them are so important. They highlight two common, but losing strategies in family relationships: the need to be right and the need to stay in control.

These patterns show up in nearly every strained parent-adult child relationship, especially in families experiencing emotional distance, conflict, or even estrangement. If you're searching for how to reconnect with an estranged adult child or wondering how to fix a broken relationship with your adult child, this is where you start.

Most parents don’t realize they’re relying on these strategies—but they often show up as walking on eggshells, trying to get your child to understand your point of view, or needing them to see you in a certain way. These are protective strategies, but they push your child further away.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How the need to be right can damage trust and lead to long-term disconnection
• Why trying to control how your adult child behaves, thinks, or sees you often backfires
• What’s happening in your brain that keeps you repeating these ineffective patterns
• How to stop the cycle and start building a healthier, more respectful relationship

If you've been asking “why does my child hate me?” or feel like “my adult child is pulling away,” this episode will help you understand what’s really going on underneath those feelings—and what you can do about it.

This is about more than just improving communication. It’s about emotional maturity in parent-adult child dynamics, and learning to respond with grace and strength—so you can create connection without control.

Let’s Connect:
If you’re tired

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Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

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Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.