Empathy at the Table: Real Conversations with People who Negotiate Every Day

Summary In this episode of Empathy at the Table, Tony speaks with Jan van der Putten, a seasoned expert in mergers and acquisitions. Jan shares his journey from corporate finance to executive coaching, emphasising the emotional and psychological aspects of M&A. He discusses the importance of trust, cultural nuances in negotiations, and the evolution of leadership styles in the corporate world. Jan also reflects on his transition to life in Barcelona and his ongoing journey to learn Spanish. Takeaways M&A involves not just transactions but emotional journeys. Trust is a critical component in successful negotiations. Cultural understanding can significantly impact deal-making. Listening is essential for building trust and rapport. The integration process is as important as the deal itself. Soft skills enhance leadership effectiveness in M&A. Every M&A project is unique and requires tailored approaches. Building informal relationships can facilitate negotiations. Authenticity in leadership fosters better team dynamics. Continuous learning, like language acquisition, is vital for personal growth. Sound Bites "M&A is part shepherd, part psychologist." "It's a real emotional journey for the people involved." "A good deal is a win-win." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Mergers and Acquisitions 03:37 The Emotional Landscape of M&A 06:44 The Role of Trust in Negotiations 09:42 Cultural Nuances in Global Deals 12:36 The Importance of Listening 15:44 Navigating Challenges in M&A 18:44 The Shift from Hard Skills to Soft Skills 21:50 Personal Reflections and Future Aspirations keywords Mergers and Acquisitions, Corporate Finance, Emotional Intelligence, Negotiation, Trust, Cultural Differences, Executive Coaching, Leadership, Integration Process, Business Strategy Jan Linkedin   

SummaryIn this episode of Empathy at the Table, host Tony Anagor interviews DB Bedford, an expert in emotional intelligence and workplace civility. DB shares his journey from a troubled youth in Oakland to becoming a thought leader in emotional intelligence. He discusses the importance of understanding emotions, the fragility of human interactions, and the need for intentional practice in emotional intelligence. DB also highlights the significance of civility in the workplace and how emotional intelligence can improve team dynamics. The conversation concludes with insights on implementing emotional intelligence programs and navigating difficult conversations.takeaways- Emotional intelligence is crucial for better decision-making.- DB Bedford's journey illustrates the power of personal growth.- Calmness can be a superpower in conflict resolution.- Emotions are fragile and should be handled with care.- Intentional practice is key to developing emotional intelligence.- Civility in the workplace enhances team dynamics.- Understanding personal values can prevent misunderstandings.- Emotional intelligence can be taught through structured programs.- Purposeful pauses can lead to better communication.- Everyone has the potential to grow emotionally, regardless of age.Sound Bites"Calmness be your superpower.""Don't bite the hook.""Can you take a purposeful pause?"Chapters00:00Introduction and Background of DB Bedford01:57DB's Journey to Emotional Intelligence05:11Transforming from a Troubled Past08:00The Fragility of Emotions10:59Intentionality in Emotional Intelligence14:18The Calling to Write 'I Never Worry'17:36Understanding Emotional Intelligence20:14Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace22:03Civility and Workplace Dynamics27:29Implementing Emotional Intelligence Programs30:53The Importance of Emotional Responsibility32:30Navigating Difficult Conversations33:48Conclusion and Future Endeavors Connect with DB Bedford Linkedin:

Discover the incredible story of Totti Karpela, a former Finnish SWAT negotiator turned global conflict resolution expert. In this exclusive episode of Empathy at the Table with Tony Anagor, Totti shares how emotional intelligence, not force, is the real key to de-escalation—whether in hostage situations or high-stakes business deals.You’ll learn:What makes a “tough” negotiatorHow silence can change negotiationsWhy emotional triggers matter more than logicHow to prevent workplace violence before it beginsThis episode is a must-watch for leaders, HR professionals, and negotiation specialists looking to navigate conflict with confidence and compassion.👉 Subscribe for more episodes on leadership, empathy, and negotiation tactics!Connect with Totti Karpela on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tottikarpela/To know more about Tony Anagorhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/tony-anagor?FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/einegotiation/?hl=enLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/emotionally-intelligent-negotiation-ein/Website: https://einegotiation.com/#EmpathyAtTheTable #TottiKarpela #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #NegotiationTips #WorkplaceWellness #SWATStories #DeescalationTactics #LeadershipSkills #TonyAnagorPodcast

In this special episode, the tables are turned. Instead of hosting, I’m the one in the hot seat. Storyteller Esther Mogoda interviews me about my journey as an entrepreneur, coach, negotiation skills trainer, and podcast host.We dive into my origins, why I do what I do, and how I know this is the work I was born to do. It’s raw, honest, and deeply personal.If you’ve ever wondered why telling your own story matters, this episode is for you.Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more conversations on leadership, negotiation, and emotional intelligence.

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, host Tony Anagor speaks with negotiation expert Josh Weiss about his journey into the field of negotiation, the importance of education, and the role of failure in the negotiation process. They discuss how children's literature can be used to teach conflict resolution skills, the significance of resilience, and the necessity of debriefing after negotiations. Josh shares insights on different types of failure and the importance of political will in successful negotiations, emphasizing that negotiation is not just about making deals but also about building relationships.Josh shares insights on different types of failure and the importance of political will in successful negotiations, emphasizing that negotiation is not just about making deals but also about building relationships.🔔 Subscribe for more stories from leaders redefining success through empathy and emotional mastery.#JoshWeiss #EmpathyInBusiness #FoundersJourney #LeadershipPodcast #BurnoutRecovery #EmotionalIntelligence #PurposeDrivenLeadership #EntrepreneurInsights #TonyAnagor👉 Subscribe for more episodes on leadership, empathy, and negotiation tactics!Connect with Josh Weiss on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-weiss-b1882a/To know more about Tony Anagorhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/tony-anagor?FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/einegotiation/?hl=enLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/emotionally-intelligent-negotiation-ein/Website: https://einegotiation.comFOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/einegotiation/?hl=enLinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/emotionally-intelligent-negotiation-ein/Website: https://einegotiation.com/#FoundersJourney #LeadershipPodcast #BurnoutRecovery #EmotionalIntelligence #PurposeDrivenLeadership #EntrepreneurInsights #TonyAnagor

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, I sat down with my good friend and seasoned negotiator Tony Shepherd—a lawyer, consultant, and straight-talker with over three decades of experience.This conversation pulled no punches.We challenged a lot of the feel-good ideas people have around negotiation—like the myth of “win-win” and the danger of being overly collaborative. Tony shared stories that made me rethink how I’ve handled certain business relationships—and honestly, how sometimes empathy is misunderstood or misused.We unpacked:Why “win-win” can be unrealistic—and even harmfulHow large companies manipulate relationships under the guise of trustThe importance of clear boundaries—even when emotions are high.The risks of being liked too much in negotiations, how to stay grounded in emotionally intelligent conflict, if you’ve ever felt used in a negotiation, struggled to stand your ground, or sacrificed too much in the name of “being nice”—this conversation will resonate with you.Connect with Tony Shepherd on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠

In this special 50th episode of Empathy at the Table, I sit down once again with Sebastian Ross, Academic Director at IESE Business School, to explore the deep inner transformation founders must undergo to scale not just their companies—but themselves.From emotional intelligence in startups and feedback-driven leadership to conscious capitalism and self-growth for entrepreneurs, this powerful conversation is a masterclass in modern leadership. Whether you're a founder, executive, or changemaker, this episode will challenge your mindset and inspire a new vision of what it means to lead with empathy.🔔 Subscribe for more insights on emotional leadership, scaling mindfully, and building purpose-driven businesses.📌 Topics Covered:How founders evolve emotionallyScaling yourself before scaling your businessConscious capitalism in practiceCultivating a feedback cultureLeading with humility and empathy👥 Guest: Sebastian Ross – IESE Business School🎙️ Host: Tony Anagor🎧 Listen & grow with us in this milestone episode.

In this deeply personal episode of Empathy at the Table, I sit down with Chuck Kissel, CEO of CSU Fullerton Auxiliary Services, to talk about leadership, loyalty, and life-changing perspective.Chuck spent over 30 years rising through the ranks of a $70M organization, leading nearly 2,000 people. But what truly shook me—and shaped this conversation—is what happened one day in the office during the pandemic: Chuck suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and was clinically dead for four minutes.In this powerful conversation, we talk about:✅ The life lessons he learned after that near-death experience✅Why leadership is about more than titles—it's about impact✅ The emotional toll of decision-making at the top✅ His negotiation mindset: patient, strategic, unafraid to walk away✅ How empathy fuels long-term culture, retention, and resilienceWhether you're an aspiring leader or a seasoned executive, Chuck’s journey will challenge you to rethink how you're showing up—for your team, and for yourself.Connect with Charles Kissel on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, host Tony Anagor sits down with Jeremy Pollack—martial artist, peace psychologist, and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems—for a powerful conversation on the psychology of conflict and negotiation. From boardrooms to battlefields of the mind, Jeremy shares how emotional intelligence, nervous system awareness, and self-reflection shape how we resolve conflict—within ourselves and with others. This episode dives deep into how inner peace leads to better leadership, healthier relationships, and more productive conversations. Whether you're a team leader, founder, or just someone looking to get better at handling tough conversations, this is for you.If you’ve ever avoided a tough conversation, struggled with inner tension, or wanted to lead more mindfully, this episode will give you the tools, language, and mindset to handle conflict with clarity, courage, and compassion.Connect with Jeremy Pollack on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠

I recently was invited to the Three Points Podcast for a powerful conversation on a topic I’m deeply passionate about: Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation (EIN).In this episode, we unpack the myths around negotiation and explore why it’s not about winning or losing, but about creating value, building trust, and navigating conversations with empathy and clarity.To know more about ⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, I sit down with Dr. Bruno Cignacco—international consultant, TEDx speaker, and author of The Art of Compassionate Business—to explore how compassion, emotional intelligence, and psychological safety drive real business results.We discuss the power of kindness in leadership, building trust-based company cultures, and why empathy is essential for high-performing teams. If you’re a leader, manager, or entrepreneur looking to create a more human-centered workplace, this conversation is for you.You can connect with Dr. Bruno Cignacco on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, I had the pleasure of sitting down with someone I deeply admire—Abasiama Idaresit—a pioneering tech entrepreneur and investor shaping the future of Africa’s digital economy.We spoke not just about deals and startups, but about something deeper: what it truly takes to negotiate and build in Africa’s fast-moving tech space. From understanding cultural context to staying grounded in values, Abbas brought a level of honesty and clarity that I think every leader needs to hear.We covered everything from his early journey founding Wild Fusion, to navigating investor relationships, to the inner transformation required to lead with empathy, not ego. This conversation is rich with insights on how to scale not just a business, but your mindset.✅ Key Takeaways:Why negotiation in Africa is relational first, transactional secondHow Abbas balances commercial success with community impactThe emotional discipline needed to lead through complexityLessons from bridging global capital with local cultureWhy self-awareness is the real competitive edge for foundersIf you care about building in Africa, investing with empathy, or becoming a more grounded leader, this episode is for you. Abbas doesn't just share strategy—he shares soul. You’ll leave with practical tools and deeper clarity about what it takes to thrive where stakes are high and relationships are everything.You can connect with Abasiama Idaresit on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠

In this episode of Empathy at the Table, I sit down with pricing strategist and VC Maciej Kraus to explore a powerful shift in our thinking about pricing: negotiating based on value, not cost.Too many entrepreneurs and service providers fall into the trap of benchmarking their prices against competitors. But what if that’s keeping you stuck, undercharging, or blending in with the crowd?Maciej shares real-world examples—from SaaS platforms to conference businesses—showing how pricing can become a differentiator instead of a checkbox. Whether you're launching a startup or offering high-value services, this conversation will challenge your assumptions and elevate how you present your worth.Key Takeaways:Why pricing is more about perceived value than cost or competitor rates.How to choose the right pricing metric to match how users experience your product.The hidden risks of benchmarking your prices—and what to do instead.How companies like Netflix, Salesforce, and Spotify used pricing models to disrupt industries.Why clear pricing conversations early in the sales process builds trust and reduces anxiety.If you've ever second-guessed your price, struggled to explain your value, or lost a client over "too expensive" feedback, this episode will give you a fresh lens and practical tips to reframe your strategy. It's time to stop playing defense on price and start negotiating from strength.You connect with Maciej on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠⁠Tony Anagor⁠⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠

Negotiation isn’t just about striking deals and signing contracts—it’s about knowing when to push, when to collaborate, and how to turn tough conversations into lasting partnerships.In this episode, I sit down with Francesca Sabatucci, Procurement Director at Tetra Pak, who is redefining what procurement means in today’s business world. No longer just about cost-cutting, procurement is now a powerful force for driving growth, innovation, and sustainability.Francesca shares how she handles high-stakes negotiations, manages power imbalances, and builds strong supplier relationships that go beyond price. We also dive into the balancing act of cutting costs while delivering real customer value—a challenge that every business leader can relate to.This episode is packed with practical strategies, fresh perspectives, and hard-earned lessons from the front lines of procurement. Whether you're in sales, leadership, or supply chain, there's something here for you.You connect with Francesca on LinkedInTo know more about ⁠Tony Anagor⁠FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠Website⁠

What if our adult negotiation skills are shaped by our earliest childhood experiences? In this special episode of "Empathy at the Table," I sit down with my sister, Ngozi Anagor, an early years educator, to explore how children as young as six months begin to develop negotiation and conflict resolution skills. We discuss the importance of parental involvement and the need for a transformative approach to education that encourages creativity and individuality in children. Ngozi shares her insights on teaching young children to navigate their emotions and relationships, emphasising the significance of observation and allowing children to learn through exploration. From heuristic play to emotional intelligence, she explains how these early lessons influence our communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution skills as adults.You connect with Ngozi on LinkedInTo know more about Tony AnagorFOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation Instagram LinkedInWebsite

Discover how hostage negotiation tactics can revolutionize the way you communicate in business. In this episode of Empathy at the Table, host Tony Anagor interviews Kirk Kinnell, a world-renowned hostage negotiator and former head of Scotland’s Organized Crime and Counterterrorism Units. With over 30 years of negotiation experience, Kirk shares powerful techniques to build trust, resolve conflict, and influence outcomes—even in the most high-stakes scenarios. Learn how empathy, emotional intelligence, and active listening can help you master both boardroom and crisis conversations.💡 In This Episode You’ll Learn:How hostage negotiation skills apply to business and leadership The “Magnificent Nine” listening framework to uncover hidden motivations. Strategies to de-escalate conflict and build instant trust. Why emotional intelligence is essential for high-pressure decisionsReal-world stories from hostage cases to million-dollar deals. Whether you're a business leader, entrepreneur, sales professional, or negotiator, this conversation will give you actionable tools to improve your communication and negotiation outcomes.#hostagenegotiations #businessnegotiation #emotionalintelligence #activelistening #conflictresolution #empathyinleadership #kirkkinnell #tonyanagor #negotiationskills #einYou connect with Kirk on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirk-kinnell-69a35b7b?To know more about Tony Anagorhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/tony-anagor?FOLLOW Emotionally Intelligent Negotiation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/einegotiation/?hl=enLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/emotionally-intelligent-negotiation-ein/Website: https://einegotiation.com/

In this episode of "Empathy at the Table," I sit down with Saad A. Saad, a Sales Negotiator, to explore what truly makes a great negotiator. We discuss: ✔ The importance of context in every negotiation ✔ Finding the balance between empathy and assertiveness ✔ How friction can lead to better deals Saad also shares insights from his experience in sales negotiation and discusses his new book, "Mastering Sales Negotiation" This episode is packed with valuable takeaway

How is emotional intelligence transforming leadership and negotiation? In this powerful episode of Empathy at the Table, host Tony Anagor speaks with Debbie Goldstein, a Harvard educator and expert in empathy-driven negotiation, about the future of human-centered communication in business.From the classroom to the boardroom, Debbie shares how empathy, connection, and purpose can elevate decision-making, shift power dynamics, and build trust in high-stakes environments.💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why empathy is a competitive edge in leadershipHow emotional intelligence improves negotiation outcomesThe power of Harvard negotiation strategy in businessHow to develop soft skills for executivesThe shift from performance metrics to purpose-driven leadershipA fresh take on leadership communication skills that build trustIf you're a leader, coach, HR executive, or simply someone seeking how to lead with empathy, this episode will give you practical tools for meaningful growth.#emotionalintelligence #empathyinleadership #debbiegoldstein #harvardnegotiation #humancenteredleadership #strategiccommunication #empathyatthetable #TonyAnagor #negotiationskills

In this engaging conversation, I sit down with John Zimmer, a former lawyer who transitioned from the courtroom to the stage to become a public speaking expert.We explore topics including:- The high-stakes world of litigation and negotiation - How emotional intelligence impacts powerful communication - Tips for managing nerves and thinking on your feet - The importance of collaboration in writing and speaking John shares valuable insights on listening, improvisation, and the significance of meaningful interactions in today’s fast-paced environment.You can connect with John on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnszimmer or www.mannerofspeaking.org.

summary In this conversation, Kamal Gupta shares his unique journey from computer science to the world of gambling and Wall Street, emphasizing the importance of strategy, emotional control, and understanding the dynamics of negotiation. He discusses the unfairness of corporate structures and the zero-sum nature of negotiations, drawing parallels between gambling and financial markets. Kamal also reflects on his personal struggles with arthritis and how they have shaped his resilience and approach to high-stakes situations. He concludes by discussing his upcoming book on negotiation tactics. takeaways Greed is often the devil in negotiations. The process of playing the game is more important than money. Casinos treat skilled players unfairly, which fuels my drive. Negotiating against corporations feels like a David vs. Goliath battle. Emotions can cloud judgment in negotiations and gambling. The corporate world prioritizes profits over people. Personal struggles can build resilience and emotional control. Negotiation is a critical skill that affects all aspects of life. Understanding the odds is crucial in both gambling and finance. Kamal's upcoming book will provide insights into effective negotiation tactics. titles The Journey from Tech to Tactics Mastering the Game: Negotiation Insights Sound Bites "Blackjack is a zero-sum game." "It's not personal, it's business." "The game goes on forever." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Kamal Gupta 01:01 From Computer Science to Gambling 04:18 Understanding Blackjack and Card Counting 10:33 Transitioning from Casinos to Wall Street 12:50 The Devil in the Financial Markets 13:12 The Devil in Negotiation: Greed vs. Game 15:55 The Enemy in the Room: Corporate Unfairness 19:46 Zero-Sum Games: The Nature of Negotiation 22:48 Collusion and Corporate Culture 27:07 The Infinite Game: Negotiation as a Lifelong Process 32:59 Emotional Control: Lessons from Gambling 35:58 Overcoming Adversity: The Strength of Pain 39:29 Looking Ahead: Future Projects and Insights https://www.amazon.com/Play-Right-Remarkable-Gambler-Street/dp/1770416609 https://www.kamalguptawrites.com/